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" the conflict since the two treasure in the home, how does the parent intervene guiding ability is effective? "
The child is hit, should parental otherwise teach the child to be hit? This topic has been written before us actually (the child is hit, be bullied, the practice within an inch of of this mom leads to catastrophe) , but, a few parents still feel this kind of answer indissolubles gas.
They feel, still teach the child to be hit more delighted.
Especially on the network, can come out from time to time one explodes money article, tell us, somebody hits the child, must teach the child to be hit.
In every case has such implied meaning, netizens do not have assist of not delighted dot.
But we are informed, the network resembles a big protective screen, hide at the back of it to be able to let us have safe feeling, the words and deeds that also lets us go up in the network more without block.
But, arrived truly reality, can hit, can hit, it is additional completely said.
01
Tomb-sweeping day returns old home, come up against a neighbour. These passing come, she often gets some too fast. Mention a son, she cannot help tear is about to come out.
She has a son, once was her baby a knot in one's heart. This son resembles father, particularly gentle.
"Gentle " this word, in our native place the sort of a little cruel little place, not be a too good word, often concealed is contained " good bully " imply.
The fact is such really also.
This female neighbour suffers enough by bright in, dark a run on a bank in, the Yu Huai of characteristic be troubled that to oneself too gentle, frank become reconciled bullies husband, she is pressing expect oneself son can go alive and his father's different life.
Unfortunate is, little boy very resemble father. He as a child gentle and quiet, conversation returns some stutter, ferial in often by other little girl joking, elbow out even the attack on the body.
For this thing, mom does not have ground of little set a high demand on somebody in the hope that he will improve to teach a son a lesson.
A maximum sentence that she says to the son is:
Why cannot be you hit? Can you dispute an implication to me?
Eventually one day, read in the boy that year one tall, he is hit really.
That day after school, he is made fun of by the schoolboy of a few high grade, before going up even, will start work use a base. Of his one abnormality day craven, resemble head calf calf however child bore down on euqally crowd.
A security personnel of school gate mouth saw all these.
Interpose goes before he prepares to go up.
He still thinks the courage that replaces this little boy applauses.
Everybody cannot think of, had an accident.
Little boy took knife, he the distance disclose of his recent a student became serious injury.
This, he is contended for really answered that tone, however, also send oneself into bagnio at the same time, give oneself best time built go in.
02
Say the news that happened last year again, we also had kept this news at that time.
A father, because before today, the daughter produces conflict in the school and male fellow student, the eye got flesh wound, he is taking fruit knife the following day, direct disclose died that male fellow student!
This news is very miserable really, cause whole network heat to discuss at that time.
The most terrible is, a lot of netizens judge exposition and argumentation:
Oneself child is taught bad, can of course others is taught.
Support the parent, ursine child is prospective robber.
...
The meaning below character: Rebuke the child should be killed.
This news backside, what has no matter still have after all,other contradiction mixed to written guarantee, having a bit is affirmative, it is an adult, killed the child of a bare-handed.
An ability child of 10 years old!
Public opinion thinks at that time, this father is likely psychosis. But, final case result tells us, this is a normal father.
Those crime gas that he is a flow on the network only put into practice.
Perhaps, that tone is to go out really in his heart, but final result is however, a family lost a son, a family lost father.
Two families are immersed in Thespian predicament at the same time in.
03
The case above listens come, it is to let a person feel annoying really, deplorable, lamentable.
Defend oneself of our church child, protect the child, this is right. Teach the child to have a lot of kinds from the pattern that maintain, but teach the child to be hit, it is a kind when we recommend least of all.
Said directly again, we allow when to be awaited, ought not to be encouraged, perhaps promote the force of any forms.
Encourage when us hit, praise hit, so how had not hit the other side to do when the child?
He may be subliminal in approbate to get father and mother, oneself are hit head broken and bleedingly also want dead knock after all, again or, he hits others head broken and bleeding.
Anyhow, guide in parental mistake below, once the child conflicts with person happening, with respect to meeting existence this kind plays the possibility of out of control.
Do father and mother cannot defend 24 hours a day beside the child, strike with the palm of the hand of child of more impossible help controls all aspects. So, the child needs a society most, it is the feeling of proper limits for speech or action in human relation and palm accuse force, is not pure force.
04
This kind of palm accuses nurturance of child wanting a side force and proper limits for speech or action, we have first-rate idea:
The first, the child rises in one's childhood, be about to accompany their play more.
Especially child father goes accompanying the child to fight noisely in game, go to those who limbs goes up colliding, also have behavioral extent and strength at the same time take hold and remind, the set that has game regulation and abide by, such, in adult set an example effectively below, the child can be in game, dare defy already, also have attrib border feeling, and the power that learns to master oneself.
The 2nd, ensure the child offers a good parentage and channel all way.
Real data is telling us ceaselessly, those children that are not paid close attention to by parents, be short of the love, child that lacks support and understanding as a child, become more easily by the object of bully approach, perhaps go bully approach other.
And those parents follow the family with child good relationship, even if the child encounters bully approach, parents also can be in take appropriate step for a short while, pacify the child for instance, communicate with the school, etc.
How is good parentage built? Have a very simple method. That is us should be communicated with the child regularly, and must learn hard do not take judge ground to listen attentively to the child.
The parents of wisdom should know the mouth that has run his, go purely hearing child speech. Although the child speaks the word that come, idea, viewpoint to make you anxious, also do not go immediately child of evaluation, education. Want the child to perhaps endanger other, his content without him harm only, so parents ought not to be worn urgently go " education " the child.
Not by the child of parental judge, they can maintain their natural feeling force and eye, won't be controlled by other easily, immanent meeting has power more. The child of such self-confidence, strong volume, grew a piece inherently bad to bully face.
Even if one day, they are true by bully approach, also can be in know the help that seeks father and mother for a short while, because be afraid that by criticism Tibet is worn, is not assist is worn, alone hardship fights bravely, because of your communication passageway, it is straightway all the time.
The 3rd, parents makes good example, when anything crops up as far as possible calm.
Psychologist people discovery, in bully approach incident, a lot of bully when Ling Zhe chooses bully approach target, it is to exploring normally, undertake step by step.
They won't leave firm hand to trespasser for the first time, however little goes affirming the other side is afraid of him, the other side is opposite at oneself it is a weak.
Once act of their a few trial, mock for instance, for instance diffuse rumor, got by bully the response below Ling Zhe: Excessive and panicky, excessive and indignant, utterly discomfited, bully Ling Zhe can obtain pleasure, and the lock decides the goal of this bully approach.
Because become us not calm, have exceeding mood reaction, wrote on the face namely actually so a word:
I am a weak, I was defeated by you easily.
In the meantime, this also is a pass, be equal to the person that telling bully approach: Bully me, you are safe. Come to me.
Contrary, face bully approach, expression goes out " I do not fear, I won't am immersed in absolutely ego is tormented and use up in the center " manner, tell others clearly:
"You cannot are opposite so I. Await when necessary, I can adopt myself of other measure defend. Anyway, I won't allow you to treat me so absolutely. I won't allow you to treat me so absolutely..
Such stability and palm accuse the child of ability, in bully approach incident, normally can ego immunity.
Such mood canals accuse the child with powerful ability, be how foster? It is from parents the body goes to school completely those who come.
If parents can maintain grow, those who assure a mood is basic and gentle, and can permit the child have all sorts of negative sex sentiments, timely in all affection, so such child, he encounters thing or conflict, regular meeting shows more powerful calm strength, accuse to feel with the palm.
The 4th, send the accredit from the bottom of the heart: Every child is self-sufficient originally.
My friend is very careful.
4 years old of her sons should play outside only, she as old hen, see oneself child be not bullied to death to death.
But the issue came.
She discovers, the son plays in out, once have a child,stand by can cry. Why? Because of excessive concern of mom, let the child maintain: The outer world is dangerous, cannot trust, I am flimsy, the look is vulnerable.
Actually the child is self-sufficient originally.
For instance, I never had taught me the son, how to interact with the child, but I observe meeting discovery:
Encounter a few skirmish, he can laugh laugh to go;
Encounter his intolerable a few encroachment, carry certainly the hand is hit;
Still be opposite occasionally diamonds head is too big, he can be borne temporarily, also can pour out to me. At that time, I comfort him.
My child bullies others not actively, also have not has been bullied truly.
I endeavor to accomplish only a bit, that is the individual volition in respect the child to grow as far as possible, be accepted when he is flimsy and pacify his mood, and believe from beginning to end, him child has the capacity that protects his.
In a word, parentage is very important.
When getting along with the child, parents admits the child's mood, esteem and trustful child, the child is met more naturally goes facing the challenge in human association.
Need not teach even, child nature is known how to answer.
The key depends on understanding the child's sentiment, include to fear, grievance.
The support that we get on in the heart and admit, just can gift truly child force.
Finally, we must admit, campus bully approach is a complex social issue, this is the issue that government of a need and school, teacher, parent coordinates ability to be solved quite together.
But violent, commit murder even, ought not to be the way that we settle bully rise high absolutely.
Actuation, stop certainly please, have a look, whether to still have righter idea?
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