Lover of the 1st class / conflict of husband and wife is ceaseless, how should we do
Ming Xinchen: You and lover are together, appear cross difference? Be together with the sweetheart, had produced conflict? Psychology considers to make clear: A pair of lovers, no matter how love each other, every week at least can two conflict to 3; And a pair of husband and wife, although had been adjusted very well, also can appear 7 times at least every week " have a difference of opinions " , every month can be experienced 1 arrive 2 times " unpleasant controversy " .
I and bright heart brave are a lover also be husband and wife, once, I two one of also belonging to this data. Later, we study and summed up a method, unpleasant conflict, turned two individual affection into the chance that warm up completely. This is marriage love conflict administration.
Ming Xinyong: I still remember I and Ming Xinchen, when just beginning to know. At that time, it is my fast, she is slow, there is difference on disposition. Agree originally met at 8 o'clock in the evening, she lets me wait a little while. I say, good, sure. The result was at 8 o'clock half, at 9 o'clock, at 10 o'clock... arrived in the evening at 11 o'clock, she also did not appear. Later, light rain had below the sky, I look, did not make fun of tonight, came home. Did not wait then fortunately, until just know the following day, after she goes back, lay on the bed to be asleep. You look, it is the person with so big difference of case of two individual character, had used marriage love conflict administration, now also can Fu is sung the husband is followed, he Ming of musical instrument a twenty-five-stringed plucked instrument. Not only give column together, still can tell a class at the same time. You say, marriage is the power that loves conflict administration great?
Ming Xinchen: Do I have at that time so slow? Say I am slow, you the heart is quite big also in those days. 2008, I two just married, ming Xinyong tells me: Wife, I had planned, second half of the year is preemptive room, the end of the year again be transferred to civilian work, go up to live happily too from now on. Can arrive 2009, buy a house one be transferred to civilian work, two people brush fell into financial trap. Saying is to had made a program, feeling in this program, press a factor that did not consider fund. A lot of friends say, alas, this two people still must not make a noise rise. Not bad, we have marriage the method that loves conflict administration, arrived 2011, we walked out of financial trap very quickly not only, still strode the road of financial freedom stage by stage.
Ming Xinyong: One pair loves person and husband and wife, conflict can happen every week. Effective conflict manages, can let conflict drop in temperature not only, still can let affection warm up. This column, namely marriage the elite in loving conflict administration. These 10 classes, be from inside on 1000 case, abstraction gives authority the commonnest, 8 problems that also pay close attention to most, do discuss concentratively with share. Share in course in, we can involve the account that causes a problem not only, solve the train of thought of the problem, method and economic tool, how is still can introducing successful case accomplished. Below, I and Ming Xinchen, arrange to the content of column course, make the brief introduction of a whole.
Ming Xinchen: The 1st problem is concerned with 3 view. Contemporary marriage loves a relation in, everybody pays close attention to this topic more and more. Love of a lot of people talked for a long time, it is to marry even, just discover two people 3 view are different, threw so amorous move, also experienced so long, after all, don't two people want together even? In this class, I and Ming Xinyong, the meeting is reductive my amative experience of two, combine corresponding tool and method, church you and sweetheart, how to build collective life to develop a target, if where,the 3 view of two people are united stage by stage in the daily practice of the life. 3 view, do not think out, it is to be done. Pay close attention to the friend of 3 view problem, can learn the 2nd lesson mainly " two people 3 view are different, do not be together even " .
Ming Xinyong: Besides 3 view problem, be in marriage in loving conflict administration, because disposition difference brings about daily difference, conflict and contradictory friend,also not be in a few. Marx says, the difference of person and person, be more than the difference of animal and animal. Flourish division says, disposition decides a destiny. Do then you know your disposition characteristic? Between you and sweetheart, existing again what congenital disposition difference? The lover husband and wife with different disposition has what common conflict, how should be dissolved quickly again? The 3rd class, " love each other obviously, however disposition shoulds not, how this thing is paltry " , can answer for you doubt dispels doubts.
Ming Xinchen: Say the child is marital stabilizer, satisfying a Confucian school of idealist philosophy of the Song and Ming Dynasties considers to discover, be in marriage in loving a relation, because take care of the contradiction that causes with breeding child place, occupy the first place that husband and wife conflicts high. "Why if the child does not listen to me " , "Why child overall length is not big " , the problem with child education abhorrent idea, baffling all the year round a lot of husband and wife and family. This class, we chose the most common case in seeking advice, combine I and Ming Xinyong, still have Mi Le of my home darling, the story that the family grows jointly, share the accurate method that establishs the child to teach a concept to everybody. Pay close attention to the friend that the child teachs, do not miss the 4th class " child education concept is different, who listen to after all " .
Ming Xinyong: A lot of friends, when producing conflict with other in part, can think of the problem that is communication method. Many lovers or husband and wife, especially female friend, can learn a lot of communication skills. But the technology learned so much, discover or cannot solve two people to do not have a word to say, say to be less than perhaps say together much noisy problem. The 4th class, " two people say to make a noise, how to communicate ability effective " , meet an emersion of real case former condition. Carry case analytic, you acquire specific technology not only, what is the principle that still can understand this backside is effective. The key is, learn to be met, use useful. Pay close attention to two people to communicate the friend of the problem, must not miss oh.
Ming Xinchen: Next, it is the problem of mood management. Say the mood is an amplifier, openly mood, can increase marriage love happy sense; Negative sentiment, can affect a marriage to love a relation, develop toward bad direction. How is then you understand a sentiment to return a responsibility? A pair of lovers or husband and wife, how to do before the mood, can cross happier, is was destroyed this paragraph to concern by the mood? Pay close attention to the friend of mood management, can learn the 5th lesson mainly " cannot help wanting to get angry, the mood will how be moved " . In this class, I and Ming Xinyong, can share not only " the mood is fast be pacified 3 footwork " , after still can telling you mood be pacified, how effective settlement problem, let marriage love a relation more harmonious.
Ming Xinyong: A lot of conflict that mention in front, arise stage by stage in daily life, this among them, also include household issue. Speak of housework, the friend says, tea of fuel sauce vinegar, marriage is the graveyard of love. Again good love and passion, also can be in flat life, day after day, fritter away dangers. Can be I and Ming Xinchen, found the joy of promotional affection and love in domesticity however. A pair of lovers or husband and wife, eat, wear, live, row, cannot little, how to allocate, how to do, can use favorite way, do adept thing? Look be like multifarious housework not only make new idea, can you still make fun? Pay close attention to the friend of domesticity, the 6th class " much drier also do not fall good, how is household allocation done " , do not miss certainly.
Ming Xinchen: Flat life, give variety too, cannot leave a few important red-letter days. A lot of friends, busy at ordinary times rise, two people relation still goes; Can arrive holiday, two people rested, idle, conflict arises more instead, how to reply a thing after all? This problem, also be in marriage love in seeking advice, often be asked about. The 8th class " lie fallow inaccessibly however be difficult with sb, how does main festival pass " in, can join the real case of I and Ming Xinyong, share main festival how to pass to everybody, had met meaningly, memory is deep, promotional still two people concern. If you are mixed the sweetheart's festival, be like,always be insipid water, do not miss the 8th class, the love that comes to you is added cheer ha.
Ming Xinyong: A lot of friends, get along to be done not have originally with other in part so eventful, but involve both sides close friends, contradiction came. Be, two people again conjugal love, live impossibly also in vacuum. The way of the world and courtesy demands reciprocity, always be little not, especially on holidays, total meeting meets those people that he cannot bear the sight of, the body is tired, the heart is tiredder. The 9th class " the relatives and friends that does not like, how should be in after all " , can teach you economic psychological tool, help you and sweetheart, when facing problem of relatives and friends, fast reason is clear each other relation, with scientific method, come appropriate handles those irritated worry.
Ming Xinchen: In the course in front, we abstracted 8 problems that everybody pays close attention to most, every class made analysis of specific setting description, case and tool study, believe everybody can be harvested somewhat. The other issue outside these 8 setting, how to do? Do not worry, we still prepared for you marriage the operation model that loves conflict administration, let you master a principle, can at any time migratory use. The 10th class " marriage love conflict administration, make partner concern closer " , can see essence through the phenomenon, tell you, a pair of lovers or husband and wife, why can produce conflict, because of what to dissolve again? Marriage what is the model that loves conflict administration after all? How are you and sweetheart done, with respect to the growing chance that can be strong mutation two people, make your relation more harmonious, the life is happier.
Good, this is marriage the integral introduction that loves conflict management column. Issue section class, the 2nd class that we love study marriage conflict administration " two people 3 view are different, do not be together even " .
Every are OK to lover husband and wife more harmonious get along, we come you manage church the method of conflict. If this also is your need, so come, we are one case before row. I am Ming Xinchen, I am Ming Xinyong, we are in Beijing, thank your listen respectfully.
