We told in front " the affection that those who decide your upper limit is you business and pattern " the content of the first part of this book: Have 8 methods of ego management. Next, let us continue to share the content of the 2nd part of this book: Affection 8 skill of Shang Xiulian. Do not subdue oneself, also do not harm others.

The first: Your helpless, come from the fear to the job

Sainieka says ancient Rome philosopher " the destiny fears ironside, and go bullying craven only " . On-the-job field also is same, a lot of people fear to express his point of view, fear to be communicated with the leader, fear to report, know to work quietly only, this was immersed in namely " duty field is scared " . These people are like next expression.

1, fear to be communicated with the leader

Our company has a product manager, below the case that has not made survey of market analysis, user, want to change the fixed position of the product and way forcibly, brought about a group to do useless work several times. Add this product manager to also do not have the leader with oneself to had been communicated at ordinary times, wind up the matter hastily with be forced to leave one's post finally. Fear to be communicated with the leader, those who bring about is information hands opaque issue not just, more serious is, you forfeited you rise rising passageway. Concern of a lot of people and leader are communicated speak a fault, meet a leader leave bad impression to perhaps did not raise the hope of duty, this is the biggest error with duty the commonnest field.

2, fear the pressure of KPI

KPI namely performance assessment, major company has performance assessment, be in what direct with eventuate today, will evaluate the means of an employee with KPI, although cannot say perfect, but the advantage that has it. But a lot of people do not like KPI, but actually KPI since pressure, it is motivation. A lot of moment, still be you of rising raises surely the road of classics.

One my learns younger sister, the strong field that enter office is dye-in-the-wood foolish Bai Tian, often because of working flaw, perhaps cross a branch to communicate a problem, make a leader malcontent, then she encounters difficult problem, leave his post with respect to meeting choice, the circumstance without number of naked demit. Because she is graduated from some famous school, entering what go after duty is a look forward to, add a person clever, the job still can be found after just beginning naked decline so.

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But graduation is fast 5 years, she still holds such position, so not in good luck, it is so easy to apply for a job to be done not have later, hunt head also begins to remind her, go down so again her personal details was destroyed.

Later, through the interview of a few months, she went to a fiercer company again eventually. Because of before a few months be out of job the life and inactive state of mind, let her be used to faineant condition, when just going so, the director discovered her problem. Fortunately this is in charge of be her to learn elder sister, so decision belt takes her, distributed an item to her, tell her, if the project after 3 months cannot go up line, data cannot promote 30% , OK and automatic application left his post. This learns younger sister very angst, realize those who apply for a job is not easy eventually, and begin promote oneself conciously. She begins to study the market and competitor, consider plan ceaselessly and look for other product manager to help her be perfected together.

When she feels the project can enter development sure, discover the development staff that can not cooperate however. Because develop a colleague to want to follow good project to do, she is a new personality, just began a few months to look everyday, so her project nobody agrees to receive. The course tries hard to communicate, a development director promises to allocate to her two development staff, but these two people are about to leave his post. The National People's Congress that should leave his post is not quite good communicate, for the project she goes every day and staff of these two development is opposite plan, a month went, the line on the product, project data grew 3 above quota than anticipating times above.

Do not cry criterion already, amaze the people with a single brilliant feat, because of this outstanding achievement, company holder knows her. President also mentions sb by name on company meeting praised this project. Learn younger sister to relied on this project to take more project chances, knew project data must be basked in come out, make public in entire company transparent. Evermore, this learns younger sister resemble hanging on on-the-job field same, arrive again to advanced product manager from product manager product chief inspector, time of two years grew 600 thousand yuan 200 thousand yuan from yearly salary. Since then, she discovered the joy of duty field, should resemble upgrading namely dozen like blaming, challenge oneself, the target that finish.

3, working centre of gravity and leader anticipate abhorrent

The working focus that becomes you and leader anticipate abhorrent when, the effort that also can allow you and hardship pay those who cannot get a leader to approbate. There is a friend before me, running the group of 10 much people, the leader of the company also has the intention that lets her superintend other department. But this friend no matter thirty-seven thousand one hundred and ninety-one, taking a group to give plan, immerse oneself in dry, be done not have already and communicate in detail, also did not understand this branch the position in company strategy.

So, her work laboriously was taking a group to work fast half an year, also did not receive the boss' commendation, be blamed instead, the business that does because of her group to company overall situation be without how great sense, later, this her branch gave airborne leader will manage. From now on, this friend feels to take a group to take pain to not to please, turn and go development course of the technologist. This shows, working centre of gravity and leader anticipate keeping consistent is how important.

4, pursuit is easy and comfortable with stability

Everybody seeks determinism and safe sense, but this world unluckily this different thing is rare be short of, and rarer and rarer be short of. Once someone has said " 10 thousand hours of law " , say to hold to 10 thousand hours to do some thing, you can become an expert, it is wrong actually. The job of 10 thousand hours, if you had not thought, without amid breakthrough, you become an expert impossibly forever.

Accompany those who let a time to elapse, you can be washed out by the society gradually, the foundation that perhaps continueing to lack high value works. I also had seen a few people, work a lot of years in a certain industry, but still mix graduate pay is about the same. Once the boss gives him to raise a requirement, he declines repeatedly, final resignation comes home, find the job hard also again.

The 2nd: Can the person that the palm charges a mood, ability palm dominates life

As social development, of life rhythm accelerate, all sorts of pressure come over to us again and again, at this moment, have a bit as meaning, our hard to avoid can have some of sentiment. When the mood comes, how should be we done?

1, the mood that exploits you

Face the method of the mood correctly, face it namely, understanding it and accept it, and do not go depressing it. Depress a mood every time, meet those who increase a sentiment to turn over bounce to spend. Resemble sweeping the floor, sweep rubbish to the kitchen from the sitting room, either rubbish is nonexistent, pile up however was in kitchen, and accumulate more more.

Actually, negative sentiment is developmental result, it can make the person focuses attention. In lengthy human evolution process, when the menace that faces the environment and natural disaster, the person can appear the mood such as nervous, fear, these moods can remind cerebrum to focus attention, make preparation avoid risk.

Face negative sentiment when us, having a little skill is, make clear my target to this thing quickly, analyse me to want to obtain the business that the target should do. The argument that such doing is, it can divert our attention, the attention that lets us is smoked from inside negative sentiment from come out.

2, seasonable scanty solution is negative mood

Scanty solution mood should learn " 3W principle " , namely What, Why and How. Identifying is what mood, it is angst, resentment, indignant still. Find the reason that the mood comes into being next, it is oneself reason, still be the reason of others. Finally, want how to should handle this one mood, it is to maintain all the time, still accept it. After passing a series of this thought act, your mood has dissolved one most actually.

The 3rd: The society communicates skill, surpass 10 times effort

Peter Deluke of administrative Great Master says " a person must know what to should say, a person must know when to say, a person must know to say to who, a person must know how to say. " the skill with practical what does conversation have?

1, avoid by all means goes continuously continuously, do not want dehisce to come

The Chinese slants implicative, if point out the problem of others face to face, often won't have what good result. For instance product manager wants everybody to work overtime, say ' everybody works overtime on the weekend, the project that finish ' . Such everybody can feel disgusted very much.

2, the idea that the angle that stands to the other side goes to fathomming the other side

Here includes two kinds of commonly used kind: Cast its place good He Jing its place is evil. That is to say, if you want to convince each other, you need to understand, the other side hopes what to get, the trend of thing of hope of the other side is how and what does the other side worry about, fear what. For instance, a moment ago the product manager of respecting, in on-the-job field should mature the interest that works in the same place to development, what does duty field need? Need to be taken seriously by the boss, need rises duty raises, need takes stake, good considering the redo after these communication is communicated.

The 4th: The working conflict of 90% , it is the turning point that rises job

This you may feel very strange, why is conflict the chance that raises duty? Have a few reasons.

The first: If have stick to one's position, express to do not have consistent self-identity to some thing, appeared problem, solve a problem with respect to need, and the ability that solves a problem, it is a main show that makes ability artificially, so, you should tackle the problem of conflict, well project oneself, is not to be immersed in negative sentiment.

The 2nd: Conflict also is a kind of communication means, and may show true one side. In the process of conflict, the person can contain his mood, rage when, can express oneself point of view adequately. At this moment although both sides looks be like a mood to deeply worried, but it is effectively expression however the each other viewpoint, hour that has brains storm. After passing conflict, both sides has exchanged each other point of view, also understand the intent of the other side and requirement, it is next around everybody's common cause, pass a negotiation, push the project smoothly go down.

The 3rd: Conflict is not to quarrel. In the job, a lot of office worker fear with staff stick to one's position, no matter because the job still is other reason,be, avoid conflict as far as possible. Here is put in an error, think conflict quarrels namely. Actually conflict, it is consider sth as it stands only, not be to quarrel. We are in conflict a viewpoint, it is to let the job be done weller, is not for triumph of some one party.

Conflict also has a principle, for instance wrong to the thing person, do not give negative sentiment area the office, prohibit assault and battery is waited a moment.