Story keyword:
Gu Fu crosses the festival of lanterns, merchant mother life two mother-in-laws child send mug-up to give a person, an affectionate couple, the expression of this two people can be encircled can nod. Consult happy the Mom of the Song Dynasty of red courtyard, visible nobody also has true advantageous
Affection business keyword:
The manner is genial, verbal show solicitude for, modest and acknowledge a mistake, know Lishouli, be worth to trust
Going up in first phase, we spoke of courtesy demands reciprocity law of this equal mutual beneficial, this practice is a kind of show that tells favour graph newspaper, the practice of Liu grandmother provided very good example, can see Liu grandmother is really more ordinary great person. Actually, it is the Liu grandmother outside Gu Fu not merely so clever goodness, prescient nobody, conceal inside the numerous lackey of on Gu Fu 1000 people, also have the unimportant person of business of a few tall affection, see be used to regrettablly only the National People's Congress of leading role oversight they. We are about to dig the pearl in these grit today, experience ray that they twinkle.
It is two silent and anonymous woman above all. Fiftieth 4 times Gu Fu crosses the festival of lanterns, lively playgoing hears of everybody book, midway treasure jade leaves place, return happy the toilet goes up in red courtyard:
Bao Yugang turns here come over, see two son's wife only child came head on, who is asking, qiu Wen: "Bao Yu is here, you breathe out greatly small cry, frightening carefully stop. " that daughter-in-law people busy laugh: "We do not know, political integrity comes down ask for trouble. Girls can work hard day after day. " saying, already arrived in front of.
You want to know, two daughter-in-law child when going head on, can ask Bao Yu this group to who the person is, it is a kind of responsible expression, because of grand sight garden a so great place, person bearer is gone to, easy and jumbly, safety is very important, encounter not affirmatory person, asked to be clear about even if make assurance for everybody. So, the volume of these two daughter-in-law may be bit larger, qiu Wen just can shine the renown date of a Bao Yu, say: "Bao Yu is here, you breathe out greatly small cry, frightening carefully stop. " next that daughter-in-law people apologize immediately, self-condemned be in actually ask for trouble of political integrity day, still send one's respects to month of Qiu Wen, musk deer these two old servant girl worked hard day after day. Next, musk deer month ask say: "What is what take in the hand? " daughter-in-law people path: "It is old lady money reward (an affectionate couple) , flower (raid a person) 2 girls eat. " Bao Yu wants to see that is some of what food, laughing at a life then them: "Lift my look. " month of Qiu Wen, musk deer is busy go up to open two boxes, two daughter-in-law are busy crouch next bodies, bao Yu saw two inside, it is food of all classy fruit food on banquet, nod, take a step to go, 2 people drop musk deer month at random at once a lid, with come up.
You saw a paragraph of small process, noticed the advantage of these two daughter-in-law? Bao Yuke not only be to notice, and it is clear to say very much, bao Yuxiao: "These two women are amiable, conference speech, they every day lack, say you work hard day after day, not be that pity result from cut down. Not be that pity result from cut down..
Did you notice? Bao Yu is right of these two daughter-in-law praise, understand the tall affection business that mastered them namely, this also proved he himself is the person of business of a tall affection, how to look to come out otherwise? Look please, he is to say first " these two women are amiable " , this is apparent, get along with the person, "Manner " it is the most important, because that is the front line that needs a person to play, what the family feels above all is " manner " , and " amiable " it is best manner really, dissolved animosity at a draught, pull close each other distance, communicated easily next.
Say so, when encountering attrition, should know " take off a mood " , because have a sentiment, have stick to one's position easily, do not have method retell truth, the circumstance can move toward out of control. But you can ask certainly: How does ability help us take off a mood? Occasionally the mood comes, true very difficult control. We the expression from these two daughter-in-law, can study good to method, that is: "Do not think others is intended, it is to be aimed at you picky " , actually major when, people just does not take care, did not think of at a draught so much, or others just had misunderstanding, he did not know true condition, think so, you were mixed with respect to understanding flat energy of life. As long as calm, the speech is met gentle and euphemistic, the other side also is experienced certainly get, also can put down the atmosphere of at swords' points then, come so, didn't occasion change unlock to come?
How amiable are these two daughter-in-law? Want besides the tone gentle besides, there is a key here should special attention, you look, they hear the other side is Bao Yu so, acknowledge a mistake at once immediately, laugh at once: "We do not know, political integrity comes down ask for trouble. " actually, the person that do not know is innocent, did not see who the other side is in the night, this not miscalculate, but since had discovered,be Bao Yu, really somewhat discourteous, then the calm apologizes, this is the expression of business of a kind of tall affection actually. No less, smoke of close-fitting footboy tea, also once very interesting reaction, say the 28th times:
Bao Yu comes out, to out, see tea smoke say only: "Feng uncle (namely friend Feng Ziying of Bao Yu) the home is asked. " Bao Yuting, know the word that is yesterday, say: "Want clothes to go. " oneself come in past study. Tea smoke arrived all the time 2 the person waits before the door, see an old biddy came out only, say goes on tea smoke: "2 father are in treasure the clothes that go out waits in the study, your a respectful form of address for an old person goes in carry a letter. " that mother-in-law child (condemned his vulgar language) path: "Treasure 2 father are living in garden nowadays, the person that follows him is in garden, you ran again here will carry a letter came! " tea smoke listened, laugh: "Those who scold is, I also besmeared why. " saying one diameter comes round 2 times toward the eastern side.
You look, tea smoke got a place wrong, by the mother-in-law child very impolite reproach, but he is refuted without life however, instead is modest admit one's mistake, say: Those who scold is right, it is he himself besmeared why, hasten adjourn looks for Bao Yu to go out next the clothes that should wear. You still are written down, tea smoke is close-fitting footboy of Bao Yu, it is the valuable assistant that must use most, still had done a school the 9th times greatly, but he is here and do not have take advantage of one's power bully people, endured scold still laughing to acknowledge a mistake, had done the business rapidly next. Say so, the calm accepts his mistake, correct a practice as soon as possible, this also is very fundamental condition business ability.
We come back to see the 2nd advantage of these two daughter-in-law again, bao Yu says these two women " can talk " , a what kind of locution is that? Besides in front saying calm is acknowledge a mistake besides, compare the heart the heart namely, show consideration for others sincerely, you see Bao Yu say " them every day lack, say you work hard day after day " , visible " can talk " not be artful character your color, those who say a few speak insincerely is honey-tongued, however these two him daughter-in-law every day very overworked, can show consideration for the trouble that makes servant girl more so, everybody is the lackey of lackey boss, each other should show sympathy each other more, this is them two " can talk " reason.
Also accordingly, just can have 3 advantages, these two daughter-in-law " not be that pity result from cut down " , because this lets person esteem. That what is called " pity result from cut down " ? The meaning is fatigue of flatter oneself have rendered great service, ego is then vaunting, the contribution of play the peacock. Understand this definition, you should think, who is most " pity result from cut down " person? Answered sb's question, then the individual is anxious big, because he saved Ning Rong on battlefield in those days 2 public orders, feel him contribution is very large, then often the favour that ground of big La La wants Gujia to sign up for him, anxious big this name, it is overbearing " arrogant is big " homophonic, be Cao Xueqin uses satirize his design. Contrast rise, these two daughter-in-law differred greatly, I ask you to notice even here, why to come over to open a period of the day from 11 pm to 1 am in month of Qiu Wen, musk deer, why do these two daughter-in-law want " busy crouch next bodies " ? Original, this is to express respectable meaning, because month of Qiu Wen, musk deer is the old girl of close-fitting and ministrant boss, belong to 2 deputy young lady, boss, the position is a lot of higher than these two daughter-in-law, then Bao Yu can come over again, that is the boss with great place more, so they just are met bend one's knees crouchs, express to respect. Pardonable Bao Yuzan is beautiful these two daughter-in-law " not be that pity result from cut down " , do you also feel they are very modest and lovely now?
Additional, what be worth us to notice more is, musk deer month listened of Bao Yu after praising, say then: "This is good very good also, that graceless also too do not tell a ceremony. That graceless also too do not tell a ceremony..
Did you notice? Seeing these two son's wife is really " this is good very good also " a kind, and their " good " namely " tell a ceremony " , know courteous, ceremony, courtesy. Calculate, they from voluntary at the beginning assistance the guard in the garden works, to month of complimentary autumn grain, musk deer these two old servant girl worked hard day after day, finally is come over to open a period of the day from 11 pm to 1 am in month of Qiu Wen, musk deer, crouch next bodies at once, it is the appropriate performance that defends proper limits for speech or action sincerely. This reminds everybody ceaselessly with respect to the column that proved us again, knowing Lishouli is affection the real source of business power!
As to and " this is good very good also " contrary, namely " that graceless also too do not tell a ceremony " , you think, what case to have probably? Nothing more than it is a manner result of border of cent of informal, exceed, exceed one's duties and meddle in others' affairs, pity from cut down, such person, it is the person of devoid affection business. And to Bao Yu this is planted for the person with broad breadth of mind, this kind person is very pitiful actually, listened to musk deer month to complain so " that graceless also too do not tell a ceremony " later, bao Yuxiao: "You are reasonable person, delay waits for them is blundering wretch was over. " say at the same time, come to garden door at the same time.
In other words, "That graceless also too do not tell a ceremony " the person is " blundering wretch " , why to meet such saying? Because they are ungracious, do not understand the reason that needs a person to play, blundering of course, also not be a beautiful and pretty person so, is this not pitiful still? Bao Yu saw this is planted namely " pitiful " , is not merely those who see them is blundering, did not get angry to them so, instead abandons oneself to with a kind of mercy the pity that waits for them.
From this angle for, can have delay to wait for the generosity of others, understanding of can real ground understands the other side, be a kind of high moral quality reflect, also ability from go up at all manage good mood. And good noble children of Gu Fu people, have such education, do you still remember Mrs. Wang that mentions before us? Her generosity is best delegate. Still Na Weijie goes out to sigh even Wang Xifeng oneself the explore that be inferior to spring, her head wind Fan Ye included such generosity, want, the small-minded, person that does not have generosity, can you become how again extensive of a bearing grand leader? You look the 71st times is so those who say:
Explore spring is in fiftieth the amaze the people with a single brilliant feat after 5 manage home, her moral ability and wisdom was noticed by ancestor eventually, the 71st merchant the birthday that the mother lives 80 great life, an Taifei is returned south personally Lai Heshou of call at sb's house, ask about numerous young ladies at that time, then, merchant the mother turns round life phoenix elder sister go history, Xue, forest belt comes, "Call your 3 sisters for company to come only again. "Call your 3 sisters for company to come only again..
You look, mix besides Shi Xiangyun, Xue Baochai besides Xue Baoqin, Lin Daiyu, increased explore spring more again at this moment! And explore spring is to rely on his excellent performance to just be obtained completely merchant of the mother's favour, this honor is solid return to the name, take put in order for, should be everybody very be sincerely convinced to just be opposite. Did not think of to there is a lot of to pay no attention to sexual person on this world, want to see others be in sb's good graces only, envious and jealous, say acerbity talk acerbity words invites an affectionate couple rear " listening also is bad " . However you look, after explore spring listened, be to laugh: "Introduced from the northern and western nationalities or from abroad Tu Ren is much, argue is gotten over there a lot of. Argue is gotten over there a lot of..
Think carefully, the reaction of explore spring is easy? Is the reaction of this and treasure jade also exactly like? To the person that those backside jealousy speak ill of, explore spring says they are " introduced from the northern and western nationalities or from abroad Tu Ren " , this is equivalent to Bao Yu saying " blundering wretch " , bao Yu was to see " pitiful " , explore spring was to see " Hu Tu " , entirely is so commiserative their ignorance is low, the Bao Yu that becomes an elder brother then " Zuo is waited for " they, the visit that makes a little sister spring do not want to go " argue " , be on bad terms their lower oneself to the same level as sb, this is a kind of high generosity.
So, let us come back to see those again " good very good also " , do not need the unimportant person that others excuses! Still have Mom of a the Song Dynasty among them, be happy the person that red courtyard punishs originally, mom of this the Song Dynasty appears twice in the altogether in the book, do the business very perfectly every time, omit without a bit, regrettablly never the person notices her. It is for the first time in thirtieth 7, at that time, raid a person to get ready all ready thing, the mom of an old the Song Dynasty that has made this part comes, to her say: "You first exceedingly wash and dress, changed the clothes that go out, dismiss you and Shi Dagu's woman send a thing nowadays. " path of mom of that the Song Dynasty: "The girl gives simply I, the word says with me, it is good that I was cleared away arrange. " raid a person to hear, had carried case of two small wire inlay. ... ︰ of path of mom of the Song Dynasty " 2 father do not know treasure to still have what what says, the girl asks again, come back to never mention it again forgot a word. " because ask Qiu Wen,raid a person: "Be it is thus clear that just now over there 3 girls? " Qiu Wen: "They are consultative over have what poem company, make a poetry again. Do not have a word presumably, you go only. " mom of the Song Dynasty listened, took out a thing, appareled additionally. ...
You look, mom of the Song Dynasty not only had taken care of the thing that tell, send a thing to go Shi Xiangyun, special still asked, whether does Bao Yu still have other pass on a message, lest omit, you think, this compares a person simply even considerate, be to make a person look at with new eyes very much? After Mom waiting for the Song Dynasty comes back, also bear the Da Liru fruit of Hunan cloud: Mom of the Song Dynasty has come back, return path is unripe suffer, with raid humane lack.
"The line is crude suffer " , means Hunan cloud says she accepts a gift, however cannot redound, express special acknowledgment; Hunan cloud " with raid humane lack " , namely Xiang Xi's person is sent word to say pain, express consoling meaning. You look, mom of the Song Dynasty is taken care of entirely, these little place neither one are omited, complete, very reliable, be worth reliant person really!
Also be Mom of this attentive the Song Dynasty, discovered theft is smooth bracelet child that individual. Write Hunan cloud, Bao Yu the 49th times to hut in reed snow couplet sentence before making a poetry, first barbecue venison will eat, lian Baoqin, phoenix elder sister, smooth assist in all a grand occasion, collect is worn one office took to rise. Smooth at that time the bracelet on come out hand child, very convenient eat the meat, did not think of to the hand is washed to want Dai Shi after eating, little however, chaos of or so around searched one time, the trace is devoid. The shrimp that this is missing only needs bracelet, arrived fiftieth just come to the light 2 times, smooth to happy red courtyard shows a case to musk deer month, path: "The mom of the Song Dynasty here went, taking this bracelet child, saying is small bifurcation boss drops rise secretly, be seen by her, back and forth of two grandmas. Back and forth of two grandmas..
You look, the burner of full at that time ground, knife and fork, iron wire, everybody surrounds picnic together, whole scene is lively, posse is involute, mom of apparent the Song Dynasty should be to notice an attention all the time, do not have lax, this ability sharp-eyed sees object theft, just also settled this case. As expected Mom of the Song Dynasty is one is in charge of seriously really reliable, the person that is worth reliance.
You look, connect the unimportant person in Gu Fu, the sentiment that can show height business, this tells us, there are good person and bad person in any any environments, organizations, so, no matter we are in when He De, can do good person actually. These two silent and anonymous daughter-in-law, plus Mom of the Song Dynasty, be very good example? Although they are nobodies only, but moral compares mother of aunt of Mrs. Xing, Zhao however these people are more advantageous! This also lets us think of French fictionist blocks Miao (Albert Camus) a truth that once comprehended, he is in " reading notes " inside say: Make a person fab really, a person need not reside perch to be able to compare others than others advantageous. And this ability is true advantageous.
In other words, of a person " advantageous " not be to come from a tall weight, however his character behavior, this kind of superior ability is true advantageous. This truth makes a person fab it seems that, but it is penetrating judgment however, be worth us careful province is thought of!
Finally, the person condition business that we sum up this period place to tell is idiosyncratic, basically be the following this when:
The first, genial manner is the most important, mood, disposition is the biggest obstacle of human relation;
The 2nd, when conversation should others of show solicitude for, show the heart is the same as manage of be considerate, can conduce to good communication so;
The 3rd, want can modest and acknowledge a mistake, and be corrected as soon as possible, come so, ourselves and the business that do can more perfect.
The 4th, no matter where be, have what kind of capacity, can do a truly advantageous person hard.
This is these mother-in-laws child people the real reason of tall affection business. We issue first phase to want to talk about likewise silent and anonymous Gu Yingchun, she is weak and incompetent not merely absolutely just, see her own business of what kind of tall affection actually. Adieu!
