Everybody is good, I am Chen Weihong
Believe we are same, in routine, life, ever meet unexpectedly passes " be in indignant condition " person: Completely unreasonable, it is blusterous even, it is hysterical even, the feeling launchs attack possibly to you at any time. Be very terrible? ! Face " be in indignant condition " person, we may choose ignore or avoid temporarily, perhaps use what had told before us against a rainy day " the massage of the mood " .
But, when ourselves is in indignant condition, how should we do again? This is the subject that I should discuss with everybody today.
I want to emphasize with everybody: It is one of the mankind's normal moods angrily, when everybody can have anger. Allegedly, be born the baby of 3 months has can indignant show. But, indignant ruinous very big really, home of intentional a Confucian school of idealist philosophy of the Song and Ming Dynasties ever had said, the person is in that one indignant instant, intelligence quotient is equal to almost 0, power is adjacent 100! So, we should be brave in to face up to our anger on one hand, in the meantime, should learn how to control oneself fury more.
We are known first below " indignant " .
Why can you annoy? Say simply: Indignant core is demand was not satisfied. You are very for instance angry, you say " my boss criticizes me before the colleague, really annoying, he not should so do not respect me! " your life, because you did not get respect,be; Your girlfriend is late 30 minutes, you are very indignant. But if be in this paragraph of time that your girlfriend did not go to, your as it happens received important working telephone call, solved the difficult problem on a job. Are you so not angry? You discover, not be the fact that be late changed, also not be time went, however the demand that you appear in time to her went.
It is kind of negative sentiment angrily. If we do not learn to dominate very indignant sentiment when communicate, our expression just communicated a mood likely, content of and rather than. More terrible is, if control is bad, arouse revengeful psychology very easily still.
Ever data makes clear, the indignant incident of 25% involves revengeful idea. Investigation of foreign organic compose is too so called " road angry disease " , because why can be angry,go up in the road namely, may for instance you grouse " in front does this individual drive to still dare go up so slow high speed? " if at the moment road angry disease erupted, the likelihood brings about you to generate this kind of idea subsequently: "I want to hit her car really, the place that makes her slow-witted should be in in her " . Much more terrible anger.
So, how had been we controlled, had run oneself anger?
Above all yourself was not worn.
Psychologist considers to discover, after be irritated, our body can have a few augural, for instance the heartbeat is accelerated, breath is hurried, both hands make a fist is waited a moment. In the meantime, research makes clear, the time that lasts angrily does not exceed 12 seconds, be like a rainstorm general, everything is destroyed when erupting, but afterwards calm however. So, when your anger is about to erupt, loosen the body, get over 12 seconds may be us should right, control should do above all most when indignant mood. You are OK at that time deep breathing a few, make oneself sober come down. Also can repeat a few vocabularies to guide mood of him be pacified slowly, for instance " loosen " " not anxious " etc.
Be adored more very much " strong person " , when often having the anger that expresses oneself wantonly. I ever had interviewed Yamaxun father Bei Zunsi. The God that Beizunsike calls is nowadays Silicon Valley sends a person, his commercial wisdom be obvious to all, force of the drive inside the enthusiasm that he has and outstanding courage and insight make the traditional leader in the past inferior by comparison. It is nevertheless in the communication with his employee, I was informed a little secret accidentally: Not little Yamaxun employee is furtive in call him bedlamite, because he has,fasten the commercial persistence at the ordinary person not only, the disposition that because he is moody,returns. When he gets angry, the blue veins of forehead is exposed, all sorts of offensive speech along with all the others and piece, as if whole person loses control. That employee says stealthily: "Can say none exaggeratively, after attending a meeting every time, I fear oneself can get the air. After attending a meeting every time, I fear oneself can get the air..
Yes, as leader, you convey indignant meeting to make subordinate nervous fear even, promote them to promote efficiency thereby or improve the work. But this kind of human relation that damages you more likely angrily, screwy your judgement ability, your act plans block up. Bilious the figure that still meets you brings negative effect. Not
It is everybody can become Beizunsi, do not learn a family to be able to get angry only, the commercial logic that floriferous dot time learns to learn him is met, the authority that allows you wins more to approbate.
It is the scale of bottom line and principle angrily, when thing of certain support of the people have not lay a finger on when the cordon of your heart, we can choose to learn to disregard a few exasperate our thing and person, disaccord Ta is general dispute. Always have thing of a few support of the people, it is a bit is unreasonable, always find fault everywhere even, carry you intentionally to get angry. Encounter such person and trouble, you pay attention to them the more, they are more excited. At that time, answer way best, disregard their words and deeds namely, they can feel bored to leave with respect to oneself.
Anger can be conveyed, but cannot convey egoistically, otherwise, your communication likelihood is about to change be scolded in couples or cold war. We meet the person that very capricious ground cares about to us express anger sometimes, for instance family, friend, always feel that is a free drain channel, the person that the circumstance that appears then loves me namely hurts me however the deepest! I have a friend, tall canal holds the post of in a big company, actuating pressure is particularly great, time want the child only in the home not obedient with respect to can special anger berate him, long later the child becomes very indrawn, not talktive, when seeing a person the eyes very dodge, complete not self-confident. Actually, the family member is the object that you should express anger egoistically least of all, because leave all one's life,you can be not met surely, a bit better to the person beside. (transfer music)
A lot of people say, dong Mingzhu is a honest and frank, love the person that get angry. But actually, miss Dong of honest and frank, there is sense of property very much when expression is indignant. Nageli creates total someone for the mobile phone thing, sales volume ah the exterior is designed ah can be taken spit groove. As advocate, dong Mingzhu's mood cans be imagined. After once the conversation ends, she and audience say: A lot of people think and my group photo, actually I also am willing and everybody group photo, but I am a little angry, the mobile phone that because everybody is taken when group photo,comes out is not division force, division force store can be bought (our mobile phone) , can you support me? This plants Dong Mingzhu even if " tender " the ground expresses anger publicly. At the moment this anger is to should add a quote.
Tenderness and anger are a contradictory word it seems that, but be not actually such. Differ to annoy at doing not have softly, also not be equal to depressive anger. Contrary, it is the attitude with a honesty, sensible indignant expression, through clever and right kind indignant untangle go out.
So, you also can try to express anger softly.
What recreational group loves to acclaim most is the amative message of star, without giving thought to true and false, masses eating melon is happy amid, and the party in false information criterion deeply its faze. Do you hear of Guo Wuxin and Pan Wei cypress? Because they attend " we love each other " program and circle pink countless. See their show in the program, a lot of person hopes they can become true sweethearts, take one word each from their name then, created to them exclusive title- - koala CP. Two people attended an activity together once, tacit and dye-in-the-wood, media quizs directly Wu Xin, do you talk to love in Tan Lian with Pan Wei cypress? Apparent displeasure is shown on Wu Xin face, but express dissatisfaction without the front, ask in reply however: Don't you say I talk about love with Du Haitao how? Actually, such answer we can feel Wu Xin has had some of anger, but the means that she used target of a kind of move will express anger, did not make the other side embarrassed, also expressed oneself position however.
So, you can transfer your anger appropriately.
Cite the case of a Dong Mingzhu again. Accept once interview, the reporter is mentioned " in reform of sex of supply side structure, division force should bear bigger responsibility " . The unspoken words in a play left to the understanding of the audience or reader among this can not be to praise. Dong Mingzhu's response imagines medium gunfire reaching the sky without us, ground of call a spade a spade says: "Say the responsibility of division force purely, I feel incorrect, where is the responsibility that should say whole China manufacturing industry? I feel is entrepreneur should stand up above all, go taking on, go facing. Do not pay many fund in his pocket, should take, investment arrives inside technical research and development. " go to China from the responsibility of division force the responsibility of all entrepreneur, actually Dong Mingzhu is not move anger, pull a mat to carry on the back, however straight-out response, the entrepreneur situation with oneself is bad will appeal a group assumes a responsibility jointly with appeal force. This is a kind of response that faces anger to surmount anger again.
Sum up, when expression is indignant, we should notice a few nod:
Wrong to the thing person. Do not turn over old Zhang, these what you may do is pretty good. What I want to suggest is---
The first, do not make assault and battery, let all is in the mood can undertake inside pilot limits. You look, it is the other side errs originally rile you, but because your expression is ultra,let oneself very likely be in weak force instead. The word should say well, meeting somebody listens to ability. Do not stand in because of oneself more the position that is helpful for public opinion with respect to drive up dialect, loud reprimand, so insufficient and creditable, can stimulate further toward contact invite opposite party, communicate bring to brawl. We am not done so that manage not Rao Ren's person.
The 2nd, the reception that considers the other side ability. Be troubled by contradiction to be not meant deny in the round your relation, the friend still is a friend, lover also cannot one character disagreement parts company, if use a close word to pull close quarters first before expression, can let the other side more easily drop defence, also can make conversion of the other side think more.
The 3rd, experience and telling is not to come up to be evaluated. You can tell each other, the thing that he does lets you feel sad, sad, grievance is waited a moment. The mood can be delivered, can let feeling of the other side be the same as experience, photograph comparing tells each other directly " you became wrong " , such more effective. Express anger correctly reasonably, actually more be helpful for letting both sides establish the human relationship that is a foundation with sincerity and esteem.
The 4th, raise demand and proposal. The key that expresses anger depends on a nip in the bud, so you should convey the demand that gives you, encounter similar issue the next time namely you hope how the other side does ability to won't cause contradiction.
The bottom line that everybody has him and do not wish by the thing of lay a finger on, but everybody of very difficult requirement can understand him completely, "Become a friend happily " still not allow really easy. Go up somehow say, it is one kind explores angrily, also be the exchange of a kind of mood in the process that understands each other. We need not evasive it, should understand anger to originate however where. If you can express anger reasonably, mean you can the sentiment that the calm faces him, also face another person can magnanimously.
The mood that follows you becomes a friend, do not let fury, wanton spread.
Hope today's share useful to you.
