Affection, marriage, the family is affection story build up the ground, like to pay close attention to me, pay close attention to the marital affection world of every phenomenon of diverse and confused.
Someone says a few contradiction between the husband and wife in marriage, it is poor an apple of discord actually, no matter be the small contradiction that big still is trifles, have direct or indirect concern with poverty almost, husband and wife of poor and lowly 100 things sad, if a family does not have money to become backup force, be very sad happiness, when in the consideration dinner eats the meat or drinking congee, had proved this fact. Be really such?
Civil / Zhang Ping
01.
I once had been received so a case, combine this topic today, share everybody.
Small Li Daxue graduates to go to work to a company, he of strong finish school earned the first wage, bought oneself to want long mobile phone, his domestic condition is bad, later the with nothing left that he spends the salary of every month, never will come for oneself consider, how many spend, will satisfy oneself to because do not have money to depress too long satisfaction,once felt with this, actually, spoken parts in an opera is poor those who bring about is self-abased, the bronco that resembles a bolt now is released euqally.
Xiaoxia works one year earlier than Xiaoli, the technical secondary school graduates, there is an university dream actually in her heart, it is the relation of domestic condition only, fail oneiromancy. So, the Xiaoli that graduates to the university she is very envy.
Young Xiaoli noticed Xiaoxia very quickly, spread out violent pursuit, without doubt, very fast they go. Together hind, xiaoli still is not known put money, spent the chaos of all money, for this Xiaoxia is very vexed, she does not hope oneself follow a pauper in the future all one's life, for many times persuade small Li Sheng to nod a flower, it is not easy to make money.
Also had had very intense brawl, the grievance of the sort of set a high demand on somebody in the hope that he will improve in small Xiaxin, slide in tear constantly. Look in most person, because money is be anxious,Xiaoxia perhaps is.
Actually, she still follows Xiaoli naked marriage later.
Just married a few years that, quarrel every day, one day have 8 times 10 times, also do not know why to make a noise namely, fight each other even. But, how to make a noise again, how to hit again, the friend that is known so laughed at front tooth, two people still go together. Young, struggling age does not have money, contend for brawl to make a noise we are understandable, can experience the grievance after a woman is married.
The child was born, still make a noise or be troubled by, to now the child's disposition is complete very eccentric, they reckon they know twice, nerve having a place is abnormal.
In front these, poverty causes we regard as.
But, xiaoli is passed hard later, completed transformation, bought a car to buy a room to still have certain deposit, what then they should pass is very happy.
And, the fact proves, also do not have. Make a noise greatly small make a noise or have every day, quarrelled it seems that common occurrence, xiaoxia often insults Xiaoli before the child, the figure of the father in letting child heart sells at a discount greatly. But, the child is clever, he knows father is a what kind of person, the contemptuous sex language of small instead summer rose counteractive, the child not only do not hate father, deeper and deeper to Xiaoxia's resentment. Perhaps think in the child's heart father good person, you say father is bad, you are an evil woman, I do not like evil woman.
And, xiaoxia is impenitent still, do not go ego introspection, the child changes Xiaoli's body entirely again to her abomination, scold Xiaoli how how, be lamentable really, if a person is in that way thought all one's life, she how may happy, the insecurity of own heart, total liability shirk gives others, all him things are right, all one's life also in that way.
02.
From the case of above the row looks, although poverty says with husband and wife contradiction concerns couplet, but not be germ absolutely, just outside the factor that display stopped, by the label that a few public figures that see appearance stuck a mistake just.
Husband and wife two people are together, fuel vinegar is very important, but more understanding that still are each other, help, go up with the heart communicate. Our everybody does not know his mood can bring what consequence, also read the mood that is less than oneself, what did the mood that what see is others bring to oneself, in oneself heart uncomfortable, need abreacts, need argues a bereft sanctity, one pace also does not let.
The life that does not have smile is lived in the mood of loss, someone says: "The person is can grown, can more and more sensible " , of course, this also is best, if can be changed somewhat in the life later, the angle that can stand in others sees a problem, explain this individual still has get rescued, also make the other side very gratified.
Be afraid of be afraid of some people only all one's life self-righteous, never lower his head to never acknowledge a mistake, use a pair oneself have much more perfect attitude to survive at the world, saying not Orphean point makes a solitary flower in love with its own fragrance. My individual feels, such person is very sad, in their world, calculate again much money, also won't have safe feeling, won't know go content with one's lot, won't be thankful more at others, meeting those who feel others gives him is should.
03.
To the problem of Xiaoxia and Xiaoli, from the angle that develops psychology, I understood the situation of a few both sides.
Xiaoxia, very small when be put in the home by parents, 0-4 year old basically had not experienced father to love mother love, growing blank of the heart, let her did not establish good safe sense, formed any problems to need to rely on his to solve thereby, this world is horrible, it is insecure.
And, xiaoli, although say in one's childhood grow sure, but parents is too strong, everything is done not have so that discuss, must be subject to, after the sort of oppressive feeling has a job till him, ability is able to release, and send irremediable.
Later in matrimony, because Xiaoxia does not have safe feeling, constant control Xiaoli, and what small Li Yi is met to remember father and mother by check is oppressive, do not succumb to oppress at this kind again, make a noise with respect to meeting and small summer rise. Small Xia Yi sees Xiaoli is not obedient, scared leap of the heart, do not have safe feeling more, also can wrangle try to gain wins, hope oneself safe feeling is not encroached.
Their relation oppresses in this kind in quarrelling with what oppress instead, the loop of day after day.
Each other age is old also now, also made a noise not to rise occasionally, but, heart or the hold back that have a lot of are bent and resent, press they feel without happiness but character.
Pass my analysis, they realised the seriousness of the problem gradually, also realized respective error, each other stare at each other smilingly, made a noise so old, it is to grow merely so be short of the sequela that break.
I hope, they are in the life henceforth, can as soon as possible correct incorrect thinking, the mood that realises oneself gives the other side brought anguish, improve oneself sentiment, those who accept the other side is faulty, give happy time alive, let a family, let the child, can healthy progress continues.
[graph from the network, graph article has nothing to do, if tort connection is deleted]
Author brief introduction: Zhang Ping, psychology seeks advice from division, marital family seeks advice from division, an intention writes the writer of affection story!
You have a story, I have alcoholic drink, do not have a place to pour out, pay close attention to me, can illicit letter gives me.