Before paragraph time, grandson couple delivered a small gain, in small gain she " admonish " oneself: "Be in when the child " malcontent, indignant, sadness " when the mood is medium, should support, encourage the child, give the child a warm hug. Should so the prime cause that become is not done because of oneself just about. Should so the prime cause that become is not done because of oneself just about..
She returns speak bluntly, after becoming Mom of 7 years " the voice greatened, have penetration " , ha, this is she comes 7 years " assiduous " growl child is experienced a suit good skill in wushu ah!
What a lot of netizens cause after this small gain is given out is resonant, famous affection rich advocate sheep of @ comfort approach is aimed at grandson the introspection article of couple states this fact is in growl child too general, "Never growl child, become at all bad mother, because yourself is met,break down " . Since every mother does not have the manic heart when method restrains him growl child completely, that still is inferior to " the compunctious move that drops growl child and when ' all-pervasive Mom ' ego is exacting, bringing jolly mood growl child " .
After hair of this small gain comes out, lift tide of a wavelet again, the netizens in comment area are contended for right " this growl child " this topic, fast station becomes two a group of people of same interest, each express already saw.
｜ bears a group of people of same interest:
1. mom is " normal person, have hate and desire 6 desire, the thing that has oneself wants to do, the human body that is the flesh and blood with can tired out tired meeting " , because this mom does not have a mood impossibly.
2. comments on area majority mom to express, it is growl is over every time begin to regret after the child, but the reason that the parent looked for to comfort his, "One growl conduces to growl raise child psychology to bear ability " .
｜ opposes a group of people of same interest:
1. anyhow growl child is incorrect, "Get angry to teach child sound to want more more more a few lower " .
2. still has his growing experience since netizen memory, express not to like the way that is roared, think oneself present disposition disposition has sufferred more or less " by growl big " influence.
Actually to growl child this thing, most parent knows ought not to growl, but be not controlled again, always be over in growl then sober hind be immersed in in regretting indefinitely.
When parent of 1 ｜ gets angry, what is the child thinking?
Below a lot of circumstances, the parent is growl is over anger remains the same to was not made the same score after the child, often want mood ability be pacified for a long time. But, cannot help when father mother when to the child one howls, what information is what the child receives?
Before before long, chen Reyi (Lin Zhiying wife) go up in Kimi desk, discover Kimi painted a piece of picture, mom is in the picture when draw well from Max of → of 5L of → of 4L of → of 3L of → of 1L → 2L change body process.
With a kind and pleasant countenance is returned when 1L, the face begins to show gloomy countenance when 2L. . . . . . Arrived when Max, double eye is outstanding, can is more general than taking strange animal of the person.
See not, in child eye, the mom when violent rage is to let a person shudder really, bring the child to have full fear only.
Germany has a very famous draw this " the mom that one life cries with respect to big growl " , it is a lovely penguin child told about the extraordinary experience between it and mom to us.
This morning, my mom gets angry, developing me to cry angrily. Result, frighten so that I spanked dispersedly all over. . . . . .
My head flies in the universe, my abdomen falls into big sea mile, my wing dropped tropical forest in, my mouth is inserted on the high mountain, where is my tail? It resembles on the street is a mystery. I left a pair of residues, run ah run. . . . . .
I want to cry, but without the mouth. I want to search, but without the eye. I want to fly, but without wing. Run ah run, arrived to run to scatter towards evening with a ha pull big desert, I am tired.
Draw when this medium penguin darling is scolded by mom growl, "Frighten so that spanked dispersedly all over " , he receives mom's snarl impossibly at the same time, review oneself action actively still at the same time, aspire reform! He feels want to leave such mom again a bit further, a bit further quickly only.
(the picture comes from draw this " the mom that one life cries with respect to big growl " )
Those let 2 ｜ the parent gets angry " explode dot "
Discover not hard, child of growl of a lot of parents is " there is good reason for it " , become the parent especially when mood be worried, the child's behavior has one man to nod the meaning that is inferior to the parent a little, ignited father mother probably " explode dot " .
1. child works dillydally
The child grinds dillydally loiter, dilatory, hard to avoid makes parents impatient, the means that cannot help wanting to pass growl " urgent " child.
2. child unexpectedly backchat
When parents is teaching the child, total hope child can listen seriously, listen to think over at the same time even at the same time, once the child dare backchat, "Affront " parental authority, a lot of parents can become angry immediately.
3. child is not obedient
In mouth of a lot of parents " not obedient " , it is the child does not get control actually, the likelihood when parental humor is good thinks the child is piquant corrupt play just, but become father and mother when the mood is bad, can give the child Dai Yiding " not obedient " , " not good " cap.
4. child achievement is not ideal
"Do not coach exercise, mother Ci Zixiao; Coach exercise, gallinaceous flying dog jumps " in becoming heart of a lot of parents it seems that painful, when the theme that sees the child is very simple won't be done, growl is parent simple meal simply then suddenly.
5. is more insufficient than going up
A few parents cannot accept the child to be behaved in some respect commonplace, make with child of adjoining such-and-such home especially than, him child is apparent " inferior " when, light a growl, heavy criterion...
Fine fine aftertaste, once had moved your growl child those " explode dot " , be the child really subjective err?
Feel when you when child dillydally, does by this age may Duan Xinzhi develop a level to decide the action that you consider to cross him?
Teach the child when you, the child dares when backchat, you had thought, may he want to tell you him only so the real reason that do?
The child when your him disappointment is when what is so sneaking, is thinking you " the child in ideal " too too good?
Cold-shoulder when you when the child is too piquant, you had thought, the child still is that child, be yourself state of mind changed only?
. . . . . .
Although come down to know calmly: Big growl cries, it is the most insignificant education. You invite the harm of the fine child that count growl before I sit in computer, I can be listed N is much. However, when we stamp with fury, growl, cry, what does stamp calculate? We did not throw bub into ash-bin to perhaps be beaten " be full of peach blossom to leave " be the biggest mercy.
Became when us " the slave of the mood " when, hard to avoid is immersed in " life howls → growl is over regret gas of → second birth howls again → again growl is over to regret again " in vicious circle. Although every time we are used " mom is not a sage " , or " growl child is to exercise his psychology to bear ability " wait for the uneasiness that sees the excuse that seems fair and reasonable pacify him heart, is but reduce growl child as far as possible,the probability with this unripe accident better?
Child of little growl of 3 ｜ 6 footwork
1. has taken care of him
Every time your choler is " there is good reason for it " , this " because of " of not only child, still have the parent.
The position that reviews oneself to once got angry discovers not hard, when us jump over when exhaustion, busy, pressure is the more great be angry easily. Accordingly, want to reduce the frequency that gets angry to the child, do not let the child become adult mood " a person adept in martial arts and given to chivalrous conduct back boiler " , we are about to had taken care of our as far as possible.
When the feeling is tired out, squeeze an a bit breathing space to oneself as far as possible, those so not pressing jobs, housework slowly redo, now and then let the chaos in the home a few, now and then outside selecting a site, sell, do not have hinder greatly; Make when stranding, put the child in a safe environment, let him hear a story, perhaps give family hospitals nurse a little while, allow oneself to take a nap; When be upset by unkindness, spit groove with family and friend of the heart depressed, the negative sentiment that gives oneself as far as possible seeks one individual exit; When ability not equal to one's ambition, should know communicate in time with family, friend, when they are helped, need should be brave in to appeal, looking after children is not your one the individual's thing, do not need to be established before family, friend " perfect mom " figure.
2. understands the child
Understanding child has two respects content, it is to pass study to understand each ages paragraph the behavior characteristic that the child exists generally; 2 it is to pass daily company, go knowing him child " unique " disposition characteristic.
Of child of growl of a few parents " explode dot " think the child is not obedient namely, judge the child actually whether " obedient " , itself contains very strong subjective sex. Father mother knows his child only, the angle that just can stand in to compare reason goes the behavior of look upon child, go pondering over the reason of backside of child words and deeds. When you know the child, corresponding also can decrease a lot of because you are subjective,think the child " not obedient " and the scene that big growl cries.
3. decides a little cause to oneself
Most mom is growl is over begin to regret after the child, regret to assure at the same time at the same time " I again also not growl child " , can suffer after the assurance that can vow solemnly every time dozen of face. "Again also not growl child " as " the mobile phone also does not play again before sleeping " same, when saying resolute and decisive, after saying, should execute really rise to be breathed out breathed out.
Break his promise every time with its, still be inferior to the assurance you cut, do not decide to oneself " permanent " target, let target decrescent a bit. Assure time of a month for instance not growl child, after achieving this small goal, extend time to two months again not growl child.
Realized the little cause that oneself decide to give his a small award every time, put a day of holiday to oneself for instance, send oneself one protects skin to taste etc.
4. allows him faulty
A few mom issue growl in the circumstance that dominates a sentiment hard the child, in can be immersed in self-condemned mood next hard extricate oneself. We often see in teleplay some mom growl are over exert all our strength after the child catch him hair, mad him fan hand, mood is exceeding and low.
Actually not only it is teleplay in, such mom in real life also is absent a few. They become because of him hope namely so " perfect " mom, when oneself are not done, meet self-condemned, regret, the feeling Is am sorry the child, think to flavor is not more in the heart more.
Why so much Yo expert station comes out to appeal do not want growl to abuse the child, because this kind of situation is general,that is, just need the appeal so. We every mom is a person, we are not AI intelligence, we should admit ourselves faulty, resemble admitting " the month has Yin Qing circle to be short of " same.
Want to know, do not have originally on the world " perfect " mom, qualified without the person also requirement you are done " perfect " mom.
5. learns to look for breach to his mood
In be in negative sentiment when us when, often can see child what what not pleasing to the eye, do not take care with respect to vent one's anger on sb who's not to blame at the child.
Realize him mood is incorrect so, must be far from the child for a short while, conditional word gives the child family of short duration is guard, the word that be no good avoids to interact with the child as far as possible, perhaps had carried a body on the back to do deep breathing a few times more.
We still need to learn to abreact oneself mood, must not let negative sentiment " pass the night " , can try the place that looks for a hollowness to put big growl, also can try exert all one's strength beat pillow, perhaps go out run a pace etc.
6. deal with problems arising from an accident cannot forget
Although be not done " perfect " mom, also do not do the mom that harms the child.
Still remember a moment ago that " the mom that one life cries with respect to big growl " in the story of penguin darling, the second half part of the story is such:
Run ah run, arrived to run to scatter towards evening with a ha pull big desert, I am tired.
At this moment a big sign covered me.
It is I get angry the mom that cry is opening large ship to come. She had looked for the ministry deal out that those desertioning, had seamed them afresh hook up.
Found my foot finally, this falls to had been seamed completely.
"I am sorry! " get angry the mom that cry says to me. Next we came home with respect to embarkation.
This world is so inequitable, mom every time growl is over the child, need to hand only the child an olive, they can receive the past immediately. Mom gives olive branch this step is very important, must not think the child returned small growl to pass to forget, scarcely of deal with problems arising from an accident can be little.
If because,be vent one's anger on sb who's not to blame of parent individual mood at the child, so apologize earnestly to the child, of the understanding that seeks the child excuse.
If be,spark because of child err thing " explode dot " , also should be oneself a moment ago mood apologizes. Next again consider sth as it stands manages with child preach, let him talk about his idea to child time and space, the attitude that uses equality, how to do with communication mood church child.
That " frighten so that spanked dispersedly all over " penguin darling is over by mom growl really, reassume mom apology was indifferent to? Not be absolutely, it is frightened to come diffuse whole body is be found bit by bit oversew again go back, every experience oversews how to encircle scar!
(the picture comes from draw this " the mom that one life cries with respect to big growl " )
We always say mother love is great, little imagine child admits degree of outclass to ours we are patient to theirs degree.
If, you are not careful today growl the child, to specular deep breathing, sober ground ponders over the method that can change his, go to the side of the child gently next, crouch his warm hug, light tone tells him: Mom loves you!
