This is a problem that 24 years old of boys appeal: "I have serious angst and force thinking, very afraid, nervous, always fear thing of missay word err. But no matter use,take medicine, had looked for hypnotic division to also was not used, the hypnotic whole individual that hears you later is loosened came down, I now very go changing hard, want to earn emergence to come... "
Then I ask him to tell the family that tells him, his parents, he is told, I know most problem goes where be.
The boy's parents bestows favor on him very much as a child, what thing does not let him do, if he wants to make a decision, must seek family opinion. If do not listen, the mother can advise in earnest by the ground is persuaded, accept till him till. And father is " say not to listen, beat directly " this kind of simple and rough way.
Press his understanding, his parents is to be afraid that he is harmed, fear he takes roundabout way, took this kind of forced step so, their jumping-off place is " good for me " . Then he abandoned make a stand against, abandoned the right that talks for oneself, chose silent acceptance. He tells me, although parents very be fond of him, but he does not feel however " love " " was not crossed by boast as a child " " total feeling ability not equal to one's ambition, people goes, and I am no good " , however if true somebody cares him, he feels again however " very disgusting " , cannot accept quite.
We from be born, the environment that decides from is pushed in the environment that decides to an inaccuracy, thenceforth begins, we were experienced arrive pair of sealed fear. The child's earliest safe move comes from at parents, when we or baby, want a mother to exist only, let us feel safety and warmth with respect to enough.
Fuluomu is in " the art of love " in say: The mother represents nature, earth and ocean, it is our birthplace. And another extreme that father lives on behalf of the mankind: The world of the thought, the world of the thing such as law, order and discipline. Maternal action is the safe sense that gives child life to go up, father's task is to coach the child faces up to the difficulty that he can encounter in the future, the representing's is a kind of force and value sense.
In this in each exemple, the acknowledge that parental words and deeds brings him is insecure, those who be full of danger, so " you want to listen to us " , because " only we are good to you " , and the parents in the heart in the child is authoritative, also be the boy or girl friend that counts exclusively, so of the child subconscious in, passive reception such cognitive mode.
The boy's mom advises in earnest the nag of type, it is the expression that safety of a kind of lack feels, her purpose is the point of view that allows him to accept him, this also is domestic average see " weak force " . The child is faint make a stand against, chose to accept so, however this disobeyed the intention with his real heart. This kind is come out by despotic mood incorporate is, if somebody wants to be close to him, care him, he can feel instead " disgusting " , and go be being avoided actively.
Of growing need father of the child good-tempered and guide correctly, the boy's father is simple and crude, cause indicative father strength be short of break reduce with self-worth feeling, he is subconscious li of information that accepts be " I am not quite good " , so the directest on his body expression is not self-confident, talking with others always is ability not equal to one's ambition.
In I and the contact of the case chats in, he uses a most word is " you do not believe for certain " , his heart lacks power, helpless, sensitive to this world and was full of fear. The heart of everybody is having the need that ego grows, if this kind of freedom is restricted, can show consciousness of make a stand against with another kind of form. For instance, the parent takes the hypnotic treatment that he has made before, but without the effect, the reason is the result that the boycott of his heart and place of make a stand against bring about.
Safe feeling comes from a mother, value sense comes from father. The mother should believe the life, do not catch the mood of terrified uneasiness to the child, father wants good-tempered patience, do not answer aggressive, peremptoriness is arbitrary, want to let the child produce hope to the force of oneself and ability, the self-awareness health that guides the child develops.
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