In routine, life, having with colleague, family or big or small, more or less conflict. Very unfortunate is, few somebody is good at the front, well-meaning the earth's surface amounting to his need, contrary not little person is right the violent language of and so on of criticism, affront is very be expert at, and these violent languages let estrangement arose to bring tremendous Shanghai even between person and person. The strong mutation that can solve easily originally must not have solution, what communicate need originally is interactive turned into to who bad play. So, how to reduce force to communicate, dissolve conflict?
1. expresses his need;
2. feels the need of other, no matter how does other convey themselves;
3. examination is accurate listened to need;
4. feeling listens attentively to the need of other with experience ground;
The solution that 5. will offer or the action language with methodological active translate into;
6. avoids to use " you became wrong " allusive sex language;
The process is here medium, need attention, the need that communicates an object to believe themselves only and value can get respect (must not satisfy) when, right channel an versatile person begins, cooperate or solved conflict to just have a base (need the conflict that spend Buddhist monastic discipline when us when, should guide communication object to perhaps conflict above all both sides begins to listen attentively to between each other, respect the other side and can pay close attention to its to need; Should be listened attentively to only and esteem is shown come out, after be being made clear by each other when need, solve conflict to just become a possibility) .
Face difference to perhaps conflict, we always are being analysed, and our analysis always is become to criticize by understanding of the other side again. When us good afternoon understands the need that states his, knowledge makes an analysis blindly to the other side, and these analysises sound in quite time of quite a few, large possibility resembling is criticism be, we can walk into conflict only, no matter of the phonetic when this conflict, mentally still is the body,go up.
In conflict, any one party hear him to be criticized, by judge, by rational analysis, our energy can turn to defend oneself, recriminate instantly, strike back, is not front satisfy what both sides needs to settle way. We are very easy when stating our to need the other side of him park judge locally (the expresses our team the other side need of judge mood) , and the other side won't listen go in our need, the judge that its have our group perhaps criticizes the knowledge that the other side hears the analysis of type.
