So, what is the means that wins child cooperation correctly? We share a few methods here:
The first law, descriptive fact, give simple hint
Not small look this one pace, a lot of people are not to know how to be described " fact " . It seems that an any things, if do not sum oneself a bit judgement, opinion, do not know how to should say to export almost. For example:
"You scatter the meal again is everywhere, say how to to listen how many times! Say how to to listen how many times!!
"How does gruff get this child fall ass is same! Said not to let take still must take "
"So big even is mom being helped wear a shoe? Can not be independent child so "
"Water is about to overflow came out! So big still did not know water to should close? So big still did not know water to should close??
Answer relatively to it, what is true fact?
"There is bead of a lot of meals on the ground. "There is bead of a lot of meals on the ground..
"This stuff is very dirty. "This stuff is very dirty..
"That is your shoe, we should prepare to set out. We should prepare to set out..
"The water in washbasin is about to overflow came out. "The water in washbasin is about to overflow came out..
Why cannot we accomplish a descriptive fact? When seeing these things because of ourselves arouse the negative sentiment that has oneself particularly easily, and once the child experiences this kind of negative sentiment, also can bring the mutinous attitude that has them into play. Final result, it seems that the parent always is in urgent move the child does all sorts of businesses that they do not consider to do. So, check the first pace of this vicious circle, it is to learn to describe a fact only, with the thing that simple expressions reminds the child they should be done. Dr. Marshall Lusenbao is in famous psychologist his " nonviolent communicate " in say, the observation that does not bring a criticism is the highest form of human intelligence. Of set oneself an example to others such doing, a bit bigger to the age child especially important.
See the child wetted the dress for example, you can describe a fact forthrightly " your dress became wet " , also can give a few simple hint " the dress became wet wear a body to go up uncomfortable " , if the child is in,dry other thing did not manage you, you still can rise tonetic say, "Dear, change clothes! " have a try, the word of this kind of simple palpability, the likelihood is more effective than harangue.
The 2nd law, speak yourself's feeling, use " I " information
Another when Luxembourg doctor puts forward wins the important method that the other side cooperates, use namely " I " information. We like to say " you should... " " you why... " " you how not... " , if exchange these words into " I feel... " , can appear magical effect, for example:
"I see the home in very random, can feel very uncomfortable in the heart "
"Mom is very tired, can you help me? Can you help me??
"I do not like you really to say so " ...
Tell the child your feeling, the responsibility that lets the guardian is a few less. We also are people, when also can having angry, disappointed, indignant, exhaustion, let the child know your feeling, gave them the power that more cooperates you already, also developed their heart that be the same as manage.
May, difficulty can be encountered when such method just began to use, because if be in your family, had not built the habit that cares other mood, you often are ignore to the child's mood, so the express of the feeling that the child faces you, also meet be inhospitality probably, perhaps be at a loss, but all things always wants to begin, it is very important that creation can discuss the mood, family environment that admits a mood.
The 3rd law, can use the means that writes scrip to bigger child
Scrip also is a method that has magical effect, all children like to receive note. Still won't the child of know how to read, even if use the means that the picture is drawn or remains frequency, remind the child, also be a kind of very efficient way.
"Obedient " the one catastrophe problem that is domestic education from of old, when us " obedient " change collaboration, whether can you also experience the import that includes among them to this to be changed somewhat? Share you what to allows the child and the method that you cooperate distinctly to us!
