■ the person that be interviewed: Miao Lin (alias)
■ the age: 33 years old
■ profession: Full-time madam
Divorce this thing, I put forward actively with husband. Although before we quarrel all the time, but this or I mention a divorce actively with him for the first time. Actually, the divorce is not my original idea, if I do not put forward to divorce, he perhaps won't review our marriage forever.
He never agrees to say the word of an apology
Match a plan
I and square inscription marry 7 years, from the point of the perspective of others, I should belong to the sort of marries well woman. Because Fang Ming's father has domestic medicine company, he is the lawful heir of only. Of course, I and square inscription go, not be the money because of him, when knowing him because of me, he still goes to work in a subsection. After we marry, his father because the body is bad, just join the company in his hand.
The sense that this person gives Fang Ming the person is very good, very heavy also personal loyalty. Every time friend party, classmate meets, the most that pays fee is him. The likelihood because he is not self-confident, because besides money, he also is done not have really other the thing that can be worth to show off, high school record of formal schooling, appearance is general.
Between I and square inscription, seem also the contradiction with particularly great never mind, it is the life bagatelle of a few trifles, but these bagatelle are ground slowly did not have feeling and patience. 7 years, I do not know he has felt distressed really me. When just marrying, he likes to take me to shop particularly, ramble bazaar, can be to go out cheerfully every time, make a noise to come home severally greatly.
I wear what dress he wants a canal, I use the cosmetic of what brand, he also wants a canal. I buy a thing that come, never had gotten he is spoken highly of one sentence, not be to say my eye to be no good, say to see namely booth money. So that go into the street with him every time later,I do not have self-confidence particularly.
Once, I am urgent, say with him, I like ground booth money namely, how? Result, he came up to hit my spank.
He can lay a person urgently, hit fool you, those who buy what one lot has to drink wear, do not agree to say the word of an apology however. I also can wait for the harm that this thing gives me only as time slowly weak go, perhaps waiting for storm below one round this round of break up.
He resembles grow not big child
Match a plan
When I am pregnant, his manner to me or such. He nots ask I want to eat what, however he thinks what has nutrition, buy what to me, be being bought is one pile.
I spit pregnancy very badly, total not feel like eating meal, cannot smell any fat odour even. He stewed soup of one caldron chop to forcing I am drunk. My not feel like eating, often spit. He scolds me, the thing is spat came, can the child still be brought up?
After the child is born, his attitude to the child is same also. Dot cries is hard to avoid, want the child to cry only, he abuses the child, scolded the child to scold me, say I become Mom unqualified, also take care of even the child bad.
Remember once, he must take me to go Li Jiang travels, that moment child still is less than one one full year of life, had not left me at all. I say to him, we can bring the child. He says, take you to play, look after children what to do! Make baby-sitter belt OK.
But I take village entrance, seem to still can hear the child's cry. I cannot bear eventually the heart ran again, see into the door the child cries so that rip a heart to crack lung in baby-sitter bosom. I call to him, say I did not go.
He is urgent eye say: "Train ticket try to win sb's favor, the hotel has been ordered, your otherwise goes, we divorce. " do not have method, I abandon the child to go again the station looks for him, hard heart sat south the train that go.
Li Jiang's scenery is very beautiful, but I am admired involuntarily at all, remembering with concern constantly the child in the home. My absent-minded make him very angry, quarrel with me, feel wronged and act rashly to lose me on the way that winds a hotel, oneself a person went. If do not have navigation, my person virgin soil is not ripe, the likelihood looked for even the hotel not to go back.
He resembles grow not big child, need me to indulge his mood at any time and place.
I knew Su Yang in chess card room
Match a plan
Everybody knows, fang Ming is not hellion, he does not kill a person, work to also do not violate conscience. But I am together with him, feel tired namely, feel to fear, hanging a bomb everyday like the top of head, do not know when ignited it, scamper gets my palpitate with anxiety and fear, confidence is devoid.
Last year in September, the child went up elementary school, I feel to be being waited for in the home uninteresting also, go to a village chess card room plays meeting. I do not have much large interest to play a card actually, it is Fang Ming does not let me go to work only, the child went to school again, a person is waited for in the home too be worried.
In chess card room, I knew Su Yang.
Child of Home Su Yang and my home child are general big, still be in same place elementary school, same a class. So, I and Su Yang are a lot of more topic. That streak he failed because of deal, the car sells returned debt, whole person looks very bloodless. He says, he Is am sorry wife child, money compensate is smooth, he must get stage a comeback, person allowing the home spends superior time.
He before us these a few people when, always be very dejected, the phone that can want his wife only is called, he resembled changing a person immediately, meeting very blandly talks with his wife.
And no matter Fang Ming encounters what trouble, cannot say 3 words with me, did not have patiently, more before alien his manner is jumped over abominable. The child falls ill, I call to him, he is growl the first for certain: "I was not in the home again, do you call to me what is used? This bit of thing is not handled, want you to do what. " later, I do not seek the important matter small condition in the home he, can him processing is handled with respect to oneself, be not handled, look for friend kin to help.
Our relation did not begin to end
Match a plan
Before He Fangming marriage, I had not talked about love, after marrying, I also had not interacted with the opposite sex, su Yang is friend of my the first opposite sex.
Su Yang says, feminine must should have his thing. He still says to wait for him to plan fund, he still can continue set up shop, promise to let me work, still meet me open salary.
Now, I and Su Yang had not been contacted, but I still extravagant hopes can when he realizes these promises. Foolish? But I think namely.
The thing that still says I and Su Yang, actually, between I and him blameless all the time, although there is good opinion between each other, but everybody doesn't have active Yue Leichi one pace.
I often encourage him to want good good display vigour, still prepare me these 100 thousand money below lend year of assemble him, help his stage a comeback. Su Yang says, this money calculates him to borrow, wait for the gain in inn, he gives certainly cease even this belt to return me.
Can not think of, his store has not opened, his daughter-in-law saw our chatting record, an a mighty uproar also was raised accordingly in his home.
That day, su Yang calls very anxiously to me say: "My daughter-in-law should look for you, you say with her, what thing also is done not have between us, also won't contact again later. " next he is flurried ground hang up phone.
After a few days, I receive Su Yang's telephone call, he says: "We did not continue to contact later, my wife is very angry. " I say: "Think of and had nothing to do with after you, feel very do not abandon. " he says: "I understand this kind of sentiment, yourself has been handled, must not phone me. Must not phone me..
I ask him, you are cheating me all the time, right? He says, either, I am to like you really, but we cannot be together, the person of harm is too much. He still persuades me to say, "Still return you beside husband, what should face is total want to face, anyhow I am won't divorce with my wife... "
Although the association between I and Su Yang did not begin to proclaim truly,end, still can let me have deep introspection to his marriage. I decide to want He Fangming to divorce, not be for Su Yang, however for myself.
I also am done not have in the what in marriage
Match a plan
I also had thought calmly, because of me inscription of the other side has resentment, is what cannot just think of him so good? Either, it is me it is good to mine to be less than him with respect to the feeling at all. Say objectively, it is frank that he has an advantage only, his biggest drawback is bad to me.
He has money than Everyman really, also can say for " rich and powerful family " , but money is not all-purpose. I want to leave him namely, proof myself. 7 years, I do not have ego, did not work, without oneself life circle, without the friend.
I put forward to divorce that day, after Fang Ming sent a disposition, left the home, two days did not come back. He is not in the home, I and child pass very calmly.
The 3rd day, fang Ming came back, he bought a flower, bought a lot of delicious, he still says, he won't divorce with me. I say the word that does not divorce, then we talk well, he agreed.
I want to talk well with him originally, these year he is good to mine and bad to say, also can make happy written guarantee. Marriage takes this one step, I do not want, but the fault that this is not my person absolutely. Since he can have been shown, I also do not want to do the business be bungled. Can not think of, I raise this issue, he with respect to violent rage, say the thing of I and Su Yang repeatedly. Still say, he has investigated Hunan clear, also knew why I want to divorce with him.
I can listen come out, he does not want to divorce with me actually, but each word that he speaks out, run in the opposite direction with his original intention again. I say, two roads, divorce or do not leave, divorce we goes with respect to what press a divorce, do not leave go by what do not leave. You carry that individual all the time, feel interesting? Next I two quarrelled again one.
I am very clear, if do not divorce, I need not consider to earn money, the child's future also should have safeguard very much. But why should I divorce, because I do not have ego in this paragraph of marriage,be, without safe feeling, whats are done not have.
I hope Fang Ming can be clear, what is what I want truly after all.
Marriage love navigation
Everybody is to long to be respected, approbate and care, experience in marriage when a woman when be less than these, very easy by marriage outside other the man place that has this kind of capacity is attracted. Husband of seedling beautiful jade the behavior of a variety of be a law onto oneself, the warmth that makes she cannot experience excellent front courtyard in this paragraph of marriage and corresponding safety feel, meet unexpectedly when she and tender, hopeful, considerate Su Dong so, be attracted deeply by the other side no wonder also. We are understandable this kind of psychology of Miao Lin, but true ego and safe feeling are not to rely on others to give. A spouse that shows consideration for softly can make us a lot of more relaxed, but if do not have, so we still have ourselves, the effort that relies on oneself looks for an ego, rely on oneself grow to feel to oneself sufficient safety, ourselves can accomplish this ability.
2 class psychology refers the country Shi Liwei
■ civil / Heibei youth signs up for reporter Pi Xueyan
■ editor / Pi Xueyan
