Leaf through treasure Mom to chat today group when notice, a young treasure Mom says he is field of a duty very busy person, at ordinary times also the baby that not very has time to be in charge of his, the child also is to give all the time baby-sitter takes. But rest to discover in the home his home child often cries recently, baby-sitter is apathetic however to cry, she feels baby-sitter age is old also, do not have dispute what, just chatted with her, let her note a drop next time. But baby-sitter not only did not acknowledge a mistake actively, still tell her, "Cannot such be used to are worn the child, he should cry to let him cry, want to let the child master independence, can pull all the time otherwise tying adult, what does not work, if cry a little while to be in charge of without the person, he himself also with respect to know how to behave in a delicate situation shut up " . To this she is bemused very, does darling cry does nonfeasance want really when be troubled by?
One, how is " does not cry to hold " in the arms after all again to reply a thing?
After this treasure Mom raises this question, group in in succession somebody is eristic, its answer also is to emerge in endlessly. Then, I get online checked, this is not checked do not know, check still frighten jump. The caption that I check is " child cried to be not held in the arms actually, did not cry to hold " in the arms again, idea of this and my my inchoate is widely divergent, in curiosity drove next my conveniently to nod go in, this it may be said is results a lot of. The person that says not to cry to be held in the arms again so still is the psychologist of an United States, be called John Huasheng, psychologist, have it seems that so reply a thing.
The theory hind that leafs through him slowly discovers he is the family that will carry out his with this, the son that invites oneself and daughter as a child the habit that nurturance does not cry to be troubled by, accomplish independence. See this I feel magical even more, in the child very small when still having cognitive capacity, true can does " foster " to give a habit? Then I begin get to the bottom of again this individual, ability discovery is original two his children ever had appeared for many times the behavior of similar suicide, and the reason of backside is indescribable also, most view says is child " is short of love " .
Actually fine fine also be presumably, because make them independent with respect to somebody as a child, letting them know to be able to be in charge of you without the person is crying, may feel in their heart, people likes to see the look that they do not cry only. Then, slowly they did not cry, depressed all moods, time grows mental health to give current situation condition, sometimes depressed even, suicide also is possible.
2, doesn't " cry to hold " in the arms to cannot be taken really again
Someone says, I can not want to do the child into " to shut " children oneself, so the child cries I am held in the arms fool fool. But actually such behavior also is incorrect, because, "Do not cry to hold " in the arms to be not desirable without a bit place again.
·For the child of cognitive to having ego ability, "Crying to hold " in the arms again is a kind of right choice. Occasionally, the parent can be stemmed from favorite, indulge by every means to the child, for fear that hears the child to cry. So, went up to some the child of the age, they are capable to restrain their behavior, also have clearer judgement capacity to the thing all round and environment. To the child of these age level, or else is cool on the child's foundation also cannot exorbitant is doting, want to exercise their independent ability already, method also cannot too too strong, want measurable.
·Cognitive to notting have ability or cognitive ability are not very perfect child, cannot use " not to cry to adopt the way of " again. Because the child of this period does not have clear acknowledge, they still won't talk, the clear without method opinion that expresses oneself and experience, and crying is their only way, so, they can choose to solve everything with crying means, want to have a meal for instance, want to change make water not wet, or it is be frighted. At this moment they have this kind of means to come only what drain surroundings brings to him is all incommensurate, if at this moment parent or else grants pay attention to, nobody understand the drain of darling, demand also cannot get a response, they often also won't cry. Perhaps be in short-term look the child did not cry is a favour, but you can discover after long-term observation, the child is actually exceeding lack safe sense, some children can have psychological disease even, resembling " closing such disease " case oneself also is not scarce.
3, so how correct look after children
1. standing toy, proper please child
Look after children in the home usually when, can have a few beneficial wisdom kind young toy, let child edge play edge study, be full of curiosity and exploration to the world desire, OK still very good when the child cries prescind force. And, do not suggest to let the child commonly a person plays, because a person plays game to let the child easily produce alone move, what child heart needs most is the parent accompany, if the parent cannot be accompanied, have be being accompanied with age person also is more effective. Next, in having the process that plays game, the parent and child want as far as possible child of " please " , because such meetings let the child safety feels and one kind is participated in,feel, the existence that lets him experience him feels and be needed to feel, this also has certain help to enhancing the child's self-confidence.
2. outdoors activity, proper " is smooth smooth " child
For the duty field parents that is in the home rarely to those, since rarely time for company makes game, this kind of way is better. So, to these parents, cannot contribute again absolutely go doing other business on the weekend, want to spend on the weekend on the person of real need. Accordingly, on the weekend when, the family can choose to go outdoors, for example seaside, on the beach, basking, smooth child, after busy job, can loosen the body not only, still can pull a distance with the child, let the child and oneself do not have not close feeling, where is what is there against it? Of course, this not merely dot of be confined to, big child also is need, because the child is right the acknowledge of this world is never-ending. Big child can go museum, the comparison of planetarium and so on has the place that teachs a meaning, not only can the eye shot of enlarge wide child, still can make the results that the child is learning happy.
3. looks after children more go attending party of Mom of a few treasure
The development of a country opens to the outside world cannot leave a concern, be being put to child body actually also is same, to a child, their opening to the outside world is " makes friend " , mix namely the contact with age person. In the party of treasure Mom, each children get along each other, may have contradiction occasionally, but also should let the child contact, go learning, learn from others's strong points to offset one's weakness. Of course at this moment mother are natural also cannot at a loose end, mom should communicate the experience that bring child each other, perhaps resemble above paragraphs in communication such problem also with respect to be readily solved. Come so, the intercourse capacity that can increase the child not only and language convey ability, still can let oneself harvest many experience, " of it may be said double win " .
4. loves to want measurable, avoid by all means crosses be addicted to
Want to the love of darling proper, cannot beyond the mark and doting, also cannot too cool. Often can hear similar " child small still, do not want dispute " such word, the child is small, is the parent not small? Be the child after all small? Still teach well without the person? The child's behavior often is reflexing the figure of a family, be in China so a such culture big countries, it is with " ceremony " first, courtesy is very important to every family, this explains adequately also, to the value that the child teachs. After the child had cognitive capacity if did bad thing, the parent should assume a responsibility, have education to the child, but the education here is not is strong pattern education, the way that can accept with a kind of child however. With most Wen Wan's means lets the child learn to grow, slowly these education that also can let bring into contact with of child be influenced by what one constantly sees and hears, raise one's hand is cast sufficient between also meet more polite.
Taking care of a grow upping is a more troublesome issue occasionally, be to take care of darling what is more,the rather that more? And occasionally darling still can cry, who to hold the post of to look very aggravating. But see here, do I think you also should understand? When darling cries, want to be not held in the arms after all?
The answer is comfortable circumstance and calm, some little baby cry even if should hold in the arms, holding in the arms is to let them have safe feeling, want to hold in the arms not only at this moment, and the mood that adopts measure to pacify the child even. But if be to the big child of cognitive ability is about take into consideration the circumstances, they do not need to hold in the arms below a lot of circumstances, holding a possibility at this moment is to exercise their independent ability. So, want to be not held in the arms after all, did you learn?
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