A lot of parents discovered a very strange phenomenon: When oneself child and friend are together can babble chats daylong, but what once returned the home,change is silent little speech. Ask the child the word, the child groans chirp is perfunctory casually, good say on a few not easily, result however with " calculated, did not say with you " and the end talks. It is bemused that this lets those who do father and mother, why is the child willing to be communicated with us namely? See the story below, you can understand probably. Why the child is not willing to communicate 　 with you day of 01 　 Great Cold, boatman outside going out, row, he also brought his child. Boatman delimited forcibly one Cheng, feel the body is very hot, shucked off appearance, wear an unlined garment only. He runs into cabin, say to oneself child: "Too hot, let me take off appearance for you! " then he doffed the child's jacket, also let him wear an unlined garment only. Boatman delimited again one Cheng, heat up so that drip all over sweat, he also took off an unlined garment that his wears only simply. "Ah, too hot! Too hot! " he walks into cabin again, also take off the child's dress with nothing left. Boatman delimits so that have interest more, there is steam on the body, dripping sweat. However his poor child, had been frozen stiff in cabin. The move that boatman place makes, look be like care child, but actually did not undertake with the child effective communication communicates, just blindly feel oneself sense force at the child. 02 　 assume your eye is not quite comfortable, go seeing oculist, and the glasses that he listened to you to say a few words pick him only gives you. "Wear, " he says, "I had worn ten years, very the canal is used, send you now. " 　 can be you the thing that sees after Dai Lezhi is screwy. "Too terrible! " you rave, "My whats cannot see. " " how be met? " the doctor says, "When I am worn very good, you retry try. " 　 　 " I had tried, " you say, "But at the moment a faintness. " 　 　 " hello, how does your this individual return a responsibility? " doctor be ashamed into anger, "It is good intention does not get good reply really! " 　 some children resemble the patient with that uncomfortable eye also won't look for that again namely " kindly " the doctor is same, be willing to be communicated with oneself parents no longer. In domestic education, communicating is a family the interior communication bridge of all members, but how many is communicate look be like effective, didn't actually have very good effect? So, after all what is just wrong communication way? Parents must look well! What is wrong communication way? 01, had made conclusions surely communicate those who have a lot of father and mother to communicate means, can say discuss for bogus, discussing with the child is announcements of pair of child make known to lower levels actually, strong obstinate. Opening remarks one " I am your pa " , begin from this one hour, define oneself to the parent's height, parent authority cannot be challenged. Such channel is worn to past belt the conclusion that already was placed undertakes, communication both sides is in the first pace is nonexistent equal, such communication can you produce favorable effect how again? 02, parents is right communication 　 forever " parents won't be wrong, parents is right forever. " " pa Mom is good for you forever, wait for you to was brought up to know. " such communication and had made conclusions surely communicate very picture, in the final analysis is defend parents is not movable shaken authority, but we should like to ask, such dialogs are in child heart, what kind of effect can you produce? Can the child still be willing to pour out worry actively with parents? Learn to listen attentively to, this is communication the first pace. If the child is,something should allow him to get angry in in a fit of anger. Parents mights as well had sat first, await the child quietly, look at the child quietly, do not go breaking his word, listen attentively to absorbedly, do not look around, stop the work of helper edge, this is equal to tell the child: You are cared about by us, we experience the perception that you say or problem in serious ground. Make response sincerely, convey parental sense of reality to sufferMake response sincerely, is not perfunctory, bona fide expresses those who amount to parents to experience, and rather than must have example to guide only. The child often is very sensitive, parents implies in the dialect in the communication with the child a kind of manner, the content that it talks together is likewise serious, looking from the angle of the person that accept is more important than content even. Think how we talk to the child: Whether commanding? Whether to cry to the child when life, when whether the volume of gradually that cry turned you into conversation " normal sound " ? Additional " body language " cannot ignore, occupy the conclusion that American anthropologist reachs: In all consequence, the language is occupied 7% , tone is occupied 23% , expression and limbs movement are occupied each 35% , what it is thus clear that its serve as the action of communication tool is big. Choose appropriate conversational opportune momentOpportunity of the what in a day is suit a talk? Physiology rule tells us, afternoon at 5 o'clock - 7 o'clock is physiology activity nadir, nutrition of urgent need complement, refection. So, when coming home to just put down satchel, the child classeses are over talk about earnest topic not easily, because a day of exhaustion that come down makes the person focuses attention hard, bad also to dominate oneself sentiment. After dinner passes, the mood gradually optimistic, this is better opportunity, find excited place of the child, parents but fine breathed ground conveys benefit other people its viewpoint. Conflict perhaps unavoidable, the principle is the self-respect that avoids to harm the child. Criticism is not attack, criticize a wrong to the thing person, replace criticism with constructive opinion, criticism translate into hopes, this ability is the place of final value of criticism. Need parents help is when searching the way that solves a problem to encounter a problem when the child jointly, the guidance that parents gives out should be jumped over specific better, the way that solves a problem had better discuss together with the child affirmatory, in discussion course the small issue maybe of some minor details is dissolved. Meet through talking way clearer, problem itself also can appear clarity, Anacreontic, solve what this conduces to a problem truly. Wrong communication way, not only can make the communication between parents and child invalid, still can cause the child to defy father and mother, proper pride is stabbed, feel parents disregards those who reach his to experience wait for a series of problems, make the child conceals his real feeling, reject to be communicated with the parent. Actually, the child's world is very very simple, pure, germinal like, those who need parents is elaborate caress with breed, and the hair communication from the heart and love, just be most nutrient sunshine. Statement: Reprinting this article is to stem from the purpose that passes more information. If origin tags mistake or the legitimate rights and interests that encroached you, ask an author to hold authority to belong to the proof is contacted with this net, we will correct in time, delete, thank. (Article origin: The child teachs those things)