Talk about marriage and cultivate oneself according to a religious doctrine
In January 2007, I marry, leave parents, establish small.
In those days, I am mixed to love marriage, to family and responsibility, to survive and dream, it is muddleheaded and imprudent, each when not be clear about these vocabularies, having clarity and the force of heavy fact.
Days before one direction, I also no longer young.
In matrimony of 12 years, I and common woman do not have different: Job going to work, unripe child raises child, fuel, a day of 3 eat, housework kissing affection, busy...
Be this kind of take root in the life mediocre and ordinary, those who make me organic can see earthly marriage clear is visional with idea, qualified also feeling is common former appearance of husband and wife and real phase.
I think, about marriage, a lot of people, especially woman, put in 10 such errors probably:
I raise ① you ah.
I ever expressed to future deep-felt and anxious. My home gentleman says: "Do not have a thing, not be to still have me, total meeting has a meal to eat. Total meeting has a meal to eat..
I need not clutch points to, can cipher out only the salary by him cannot the defray of family of long hold together. So, I taught oneself other, the code word that also working makes money, carry a tax that raises the home together with him.
"I raise you ah " this word, very pleasant. But for common to the majority husband and wife, it not as good as " we raise the home together ah " come really.
Regard a common as the woman, I bless all feminine happiness that are raised by the man, but also can raise the home together with the man for oneself and feel proud.
I bestow favor on ② you ah.
Marry 12 years, the gentleman includes my place is faulty, patient all my do sth over and over again, in the day that in me angle dreams, leave a door that come home to me from beginning to end.
Every time when I express remember with gratitude to him at this point, he can say: "What do this have, I love you. I love you..
But be clear about in my heart, what doing not have to love is to be able to lay a person optional and prodigal, should be opposite this engrave, should love doubly, this meeting love ability flows, ability is forward.
Receive hear affection hot line these year, I send appreciate to arrive more this:
Truly happy woman, not be be being bestowed favor on blindly by the man, it is however in the love of the other side, become collect carefully to love to also give love oneself.
Because, be bestowed favor on to be temporarily lucky, each other love just is lifetime halo.
I accompany ③ you ah.
Young when, affection seeing word novel, watch God movie and TV, imagining the person oen is in love with that should marry in the future is a matchless hero, he can step on 7 colour auspicious cloud will marry me, meeting God picks tiny spot to me, meeting go to the fields digs treasure to me, the lane that can accompany me to go in ancient town is romantic, can take me to watch day.
After marrying, just accept gradually, the person oen is in love with resembles a passerby shell it seems that, he everyday so tired that resemble a dog go to work even, be elbowed out by leader criticism colleague, for salary even stoop to compromise.
We want the house that I want to be offerred together, I want a ride he also is not free certainly accompany, think even me on the weekend and film of his guard the threshing floor may not embarks on a journey.
Child be good at, parents gradually old, we no longer young hind, I already said rarely " you accompany me " , learn to say however " you are busy your " .
I do not consider his pressure, I think he can have taken care of himself only. I no longer he accompanies beg, I think his at one's leisure is accompanied well only accompany oneself.
I think, the person that loves again greatly, there also is the wood that I cannot arrive at in the heart. I wish he has guarded that forest in him heart, often go slowly together with me.
I do not have ④ thing ah.
What the woman makes the most easily is wrong, it is in give attention to two or morethings bad family is mixed when the career, mix in angst catch mad in fire the bullet of the mood to the closest from oneself husband.
I am not exceptional also.
Have paragraph of time, because I handle the bad job, writing, contradiction that read, get angry to my home gentleman constantly. He never returns a mouth, admit blindly, but the harm that does not cause on behalf of me is nonexistent.
One day, scatter me to his fury when him, when be being scattered to innocent child, I be stupefied over:
Feminine mood, just be the calm Nereus needle of a home. Feminine angst, family chicken flying dog jumps; The wife is mild, family years is static good.
My resembling apologized to him in that way in the past, he resembles saying magnanimousingly in that way as one used to do: "I do not have a thing, you are not fierce I am fierce who ah. " but wherefrom rises momently, I knew:
He can pretend to do not have a thing, I cannot again ask for trouble.
Playing the banner of high-sounding, go to unbridled ground injuring the person beside. The person that magnanimouses again, also have the hour that break down. Good-tempered go back on his word with the incoming letter, is not to use those who use up.
I do not have ⑤ empty ah.
I busy read write, make day of sit still as a form of therapy, seldom go out. Bought thing needs in the home, I can list a detailed list, he goes buy. Or, what do I mention to need to do inadvertently, he always also manages to find time had done in time.
He says rarely " I am done not have empty ah " , perhaps say " say again subsequently " . This kind of his manner also affects me, when letting me handle domestic work, also be to look for excuse less, think way more, be solved as far as possible with the action.
Want to come so, there is what important matter in marriage, it is insignificant of one stake stake trifling daily. Good time and bad time, attrib border without clarity also, it is former nevertheless was full of small I hope truly, and latter bestrewed small contradiction.
Everybody, ought not to protracted wedding day.
⑥ your tenderness.
I one small the girl that is not the tenderness on traditional sense, after marrying, do not have more go becoming tender person painstakingly. But I also appreciate the beauty, like those lowering one's head that be like water softly, look up peach face is like beautiful woman.
Just, begin to write affection column, receive after hearing a hot line, have many face the girl of tenderness of beautiful, disposition pours out to me: "At the outset he feels I am tender, cold-shoulder my no use again nowadays. Cold-shoulder my no use again nowadays..
This lets me think to having softly.
I think, in the times progress and reality grind the female in pressing, have the face merely " you are tender ah " , can't resist at all actual cruelty and life risk.
True tenderness, it is the heart has city team, glow moon says on the face, be a bright and clear flower leaves over mud.
⑦ your magnanimous.
After I marry, once lived 10 years together with grandpa mother-in-law. Although, contradict greatly without what between I and two old people, but now and then knock against often also has. When I feel to subdue, the gentleman never has said:
"You want magnanimous. "You want magnanimous..
He always stands in me here, go doing parental work. Be the manner that he never importunes me this kind to magnanimous, let me become more and more magnanimous.
In good marriage, not be to ask a woman magnanimouses absolutely, the man that has a magnanimous however develops advanced face open a way, let a family assemble in open ground.
You believe ⑧ I ah.
When marrying 10 years, I ever answered the past that looks at us together with the gentleman, discover a lot of husband and wife say two words that pass, our delicacy has had said:
"Do you believe me? " " I believe you. " " I believe you..
Be in rarely between us believe to each other were used up on this problem, we more adept thing is: Go facing together, go hard trying, go solving this problem.
Reliance, not be a concept, however a kind of action. Let reliance of the other side, do not depend on what saying, and depend on how be being done.
You listen to ⑨ my.
Go 6 years, I am listened attentively to and the book has written the marital story of more than 1000 readers, their majority person passes not happily, I also sum up a when give their misfortune main reason from this:
Always want to invite opposite party the apiration act according to oneself, always want to let the other side become that individual that he imagines, is not him himself.
Marriage of 12 years also reminds me again and again:
If you think the way that makes one individual day worst develops, control him ceaselessly. If you are willing to accompany a person to ameliorate, that from he is admitted in the heart.
Good husband and wife, say rarely " you listen to me " , like to say however: "Good, you go trying. You go trying..
Actually, no matter be adult, still be the child, his grow not to come from homiletic, and the genuine knowledge that after coming from joys and sorrows of all previous classics, gains.
You love ⑩ I ah.
If say, marry 12 years, what is my biggest change, I think, be a former one is assured and bold with justice " you love me ah " , changed collect carefully heart is medium today " I love you ah " .
Because, former it is to ask for, it is control, it is to show off, be proud and not control oneself. After that person, it is to give, it is affirmative, it is to help sb to fulfill his wishes, it is abasement still be in cultivate oneself according to a religious doctrine.
And cultivate oneself according to a religious doctrine, find hard warm and gentle, beautiful oneself, just be marital inside and outside, the mission with ultimate everybody.
In " send Guo Xiang " in, author Cheng clever element with " associate of divine carve a person adept in martial arts and given to chivalrous conduct " in Guo Xiang's snout writes:
When I had walked along hill, hill does not talk, I am transient the sea when the sea does not talk;
The donkey that I am taking one pace drop with a tick answers, the silent leaning on a day that I am taking is dumb.
Because loving Yang Guo's master,everybody says me, cannot find settle down in delicate eyebrows so;
Actually I just like the mist of delicate eyebrows, resemble blossomming firework 16 years old that year.
Yes.
Because loving Yang Daxia,Guo Xiang is not, just brought the home in high mountain eyebrow. She is pair of hearts only a green firework, give up does not fall.
Because,we also are not a certain person, just became the home into encircle a city. We just do not wish disappoint this is brief all one's life, just be brought up desperately so.
So, our love, our home, our spouse and marriage, it is the story of our oneself extension. We fostered cordial relations between states oneself, all ability will be smooth and steady.
This ability is me what marry 12 years, think the word that says to you most.
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