One, why is he chiller and chiller?
Cold force, it is to show the spouse is bilateral commonly when they produce contradiction, inhospitality of the other side, aloof, indifferent to the spouse, lower each other communication lowermost rate.
Case one: Small beautiful with gentleman Xiaozhang -- why small Li Yue is stood by, is small Zhang Yue chill?
Pieces of small cold violent reason: Want to let a madam stop
Case 2: Madam Xiaotian follows small Bin -- I marry you, it is good to me that you need (demand repayment psychology)
The reason of small Bin cold force: The love that the madam wants resembles a bottomless pit, cannot give escape
Small cropland psychology -- demand repayment psychology: Because I marry you, you need to care me very much to me, satisfy me.
Cause think: Among life often such, we give others the thing that we do not have without method actually, when that thing exceeds our limit, the person is responded to with respect to what produce two fields -- the first refuses namely, the 2nd escapes namely,
Case 3: Gentleman small Lin Yujia bright -- gentleman: "What I seem to love is not you "
3 small Lin Leng's violent reasons:
1, the cummer before cannot forgetting
2, feel fine bright not be the person that oneself love most
3, want not to think active mouth however apart
Say brief summary originally: Why 4 his chiller and chiller respects
The first respect, it is the so called cold force that the pressure of love causes,
The 2nd respect, the chase aftering that loves namely escapes caused cold force,
The 3rd respect, it is the cold force that the rejection of love causes,
The 4th respect, it is the insolvency of love,
2, why can we be immersed in odd group?
Depend on academic: One kind calls angst contradiction model, additionally one kind is called escape before shrinking back,
Case analyses: Small beautiful with gentleman Xiaozhang -- angst contradiction + escape shrink back model
Small beautiful: Angst is contradictory -- chase after
Xiaozhang: Escape shrink back -- escape
Cause introspection: Are you the person that seek or the person that escape?
Case 4: The settlement of a muscle means
Angst contradiction writtens guarantee: The settlement that uses a muscle when anything crops up means
Escape shrink back model: Do not want to solve, want to escape only
Say brief summary originally: Why we can be immersed in odd group -- depend on academic
3, how can ability stop such vicious circle?
1, adjust oneself excited mood,
2, understand them to want evasive what is the reason next after all
3, anew angle look upon between two people interactive
4, two principles unscramble state of mind of the other side: The first protects him namely, the 2nd is him also be true be inning maintains a relationship
Protect oneself: The gentleman wants the ability of escape wife, escape far, want to protect oneself namely, do not get a wife the attack of violent gunfire, do not get hurt.
Maintain a relationship: I do not sulk with you, won't make a noise with you, I do not talk with you we won't fly into a rage, the relation won't be done very badly, then I escape far, maintain present relationship, do not worsen at least go down.
Case analyses: Small beautiful how to change?
① is small beautiful the mood that adjusts oneself
The think of a way that ② understands Xiaozhang -- dare not respond to
③ ego dredge -- Xiaozhang is not to want to be far from his, fear to cannot give you the love that be equal however
This class brief summary:
One, why I stand by him more, he is chiller,
Because entered a strange ring,the reason is, it is vicious circle,
2, why can we be immersed in odd group?
3, how can you just stop vicious circle?
Adjust oneself excited mood, foster curiosity, go understanding him, reduce ill feeling of be disgusted with, go unscrambling the state of mind of the other side from two principles, the first protects him namely, the 2nd he also is to be in really maintain a relationship.
