Everybody is good, I am Hu Shen. The subject that this first phase should discuss is: Ablactationing day, mom and darling were lovelorn.
In bean 8 months when, he should ablactation. Want to ablactation, fabaceous Mom is such records: "When because be in,bean makes an inspection, he has a few somes of anaemia, be short of iron. Because have denominator of nurturance of a few battalion,breast cannot have supplied him. " this is on one hand. The 2nd respect, fabaceous Mom also is wanting to want to work, it is so among this process also need to ablactation, go completing this process next. Because fabaceous Mom is impossible at any time and place feed of the breast that use a mother he, want to ablactation so. Of course, this ablactationing course is right darling, right for mom, it is a double test. This kind of test, if we can have transferred well, this ablactationing thing can be mixed to darling for mom, it is a first-rate opportunity. But if say to did not break good grandma well, this is to darling and mom likely one compares a kind of bad experience. Be opposite especially darling, an ablactationing process to him it is a very important process. The importance of this process, we can divide will look for the following:
Above all, ablactationing is a separate course. The join of mom and darling, on one hand besides the hug, beyond the contact that includes a few other bodies, sucking also be a join, that joins this kind, also mean the part that mom is acting to bring up darling, and nobody can replace this kind of part. Be uniqueness. So, this kind of darling is among this process of the breast of absorb mom, also be the link with building particularly nice with mom. He still wants to maintain the sense of this kind of an organic whole. Mom is among this process, the breast that passes darling him absorb, go experiencing sundry feeling. E.g. me the person that is darling of a feed, so I am self-abnegation, can be in even next darling him absorb among the process of nipple, get a few contented feelings. Have some of contented feeling, be a few sexes even is contented, can produce a kind of experience of a kind of special happiness. So, this is mixed to darling for mom, this process resembled be lovelorn a bit same. This kind of uniqueness, was replaced by diversity place. Because, darling has begun to satisfy his with other way these. Mom also should cut off the process of darling of feed of the breast that use a mother, cut off with darling between the sort of very close together, the join of uniqueness. So, to mom, also be one kind is lovelorn, also be to darling one kind is lovelorn.
We say darling is in the process that grow, among his lifetime, each person, want to pass very important depart a few times. First time is detached, be from the uterus inside come out, become a darling, from fetal become a baby, this is very special a big depart, because mom became mother from pregnant woman, darling from fetal became a baby. This is very important depart. Depart the 2nd times, ablactation namely. Ablactation even if cut off whole darling to follow this only link between mom from now on. But occasionally, the mother milk feed of that breast more resembling is darling as a kind of umbilical join between mom. Include because of very much nutrition a few contented, want to be satisfied through the breast. So, this also is very special and important depart. The 3rd depart is to be in 3 years old or so to go commonly nursery school, because darling wants from the environment that goes to this society other among the family inside, this also is very big depart. So, after we can be in, will discuss the issue with this separate nursery school. The 4th the biggest depart, after growing up namely, leave a family completely, go establishing a closer relationship with other people next. Marry for example, also be to father mother, the child with oneself is very big depart.
So, if life has experienced very important detached word 4 times this, so, opposite for, it is more complete. But have a few people, he may have experienced depart 3 times only all one's life, had experienced depart twice only even, have the word of some of person, had experienced depart only. He lies all the time with the relation between mom a kind of accrete condition.
I once had seen a lot of such case, some children arrived 8 years old seventeen to still sleep on a bed with mom. Some mom even oneself child already many years old 20, very big, had married, still think the child that follows oneself sleeps on a bed. This is a very clammy relation. The family of this kind of relation, I hope everybody can realize well, because darling follows the likelihood side here,mom did not finish a depart. But the depart of darling is passivity, he needs to depend on mom, so, it how mom finishs this depart is very important to go to how mom finishs this depart.
So, how to go ablactationing well? This problem has a lot of people to discuss. Have formula of a lot of earth in the country, perhaps say mom leaves darling a few days directly, do not let darling see next, so it is OK to seem broken. But, when very much mom discovery should use this kind to compare a kind of means of the extreme to complete this process, when returning the home, darling produced complete change with his relation, mu Ne is when some darling see mom even, this is a kind of darling remove a condition. Because he discovers a the safest person, suddenly between leave, so he retreats the baby that goes to one each to shut again period, of the baby shut oneself period. This is a bad phenomenon.
The 2nd kind of means, have the taste that a few mom may besmear on a few darling do not like above the tit in oneself, e.g. chili oil ah or of what and so on, so that let darling,begin to be fed up with this tit. Change other side to satisfy next, e.g. feeder. This also is a very bad phenomenon, because give him a contented breast originally, next suddenly between the anything else time that grew additionally one kind to let him cannot be accepted, this is a very big impact to him, so he distinguishs Hunan with respect to very difficult area why a particularly good thing, become a such flavour immediately at a draught. To him, the thinking that he already cannot Your Excellency with a kind goes considering this issue. More it is a kind of subjective experience, so, such means formed darling very easily a kind of black and white and polar view to this world. Blame is black namely white, had been not next namely bad. This kind of feeling is not very good. So, the word of these two kinds of means, I feel this is not a very good method. More because mom rejects darling well without too much ability,be. So, how had done an ablactationing process, I think those who want an attention is at 3 o'clock by the side of here.
A the most important principle is, how does mom learn to refuse sturdily softly. "Refuse sturdily softly " these a few words inside containing too much content. It is tender above all. What is tender? The first, mom ablactationed with darling, we are in ablactationing process, to darling, it is life an intermediate very big event. So, what he hopes more is to feel particularly safe mom can be accompanied formerly beside, so, this moment wants tenderness. Tenderness can give a darling a few conciliation namely. E.g. , among the process that ablactations when darling special angst, mom is accompanied by, tender hug is to darling one compares a kind of good experience.
What is that sturdy concept? Sturdy, should go again when darling namely the breast of absorb mom when, this moment must learn be willing to part with or use. A lot of when, because mom sees darling wants to drink a milk particularly, heart inside particularly special feel distressed, have pity on even, can have feeling of regret of a few somes of ashamed next. Accordingly, go very hard accomplishing sturdy. Some moment became ambiguous, those who see darling is special want to drink a milk, when crying very afflictively, also do not do a few conciliation next, went satisfying him directly. That such word, cannot depart. Resembling a bit is some people when Tan Lian loves, see the other side is so sad begin to admitted this relation again, next two people are pestered together, actually this does not have method to accomplish a kind of firm sense namely.
The 3rd respect refuses namely. What concept is refusing? If we want to reject the other side, to a darling, we must have a few things that replace, e.g. feeder. To darling, at the beginning when can have a few repulsion, this kind of repulsion also has not carried his body need, it is so in this process, he can learn to accept slowly. So, ablactationing process is a proper setback. To darling, proper setback this word, it is actually among the growing process of darling, we are to always want to realize this kind of problem, namely any grow, proper setback place is caused. So, mom offers darling ablactationing course, it is a proper setback to darling namely. So, the ability of this kind of be thwarted, from ablactation to begin. Have what when a few darling may ablactation, cry so that rip a heart to crack lung. Especially because fear he does not have method to keep back,mom is in among this process, with respect to pair of direct this thing firm so next hearts come, this kind is not a kind of tender means.
It is among this process, of mom abstemious and special important. Some mom are abstemious without ability, it is special mood change, particularly easy perhaps softhearted. Actually, we say such mother loving mother is defeated more, the loving mother of the edge is not amiable here, however the sort of cannot abstemious a few mom. Often meet namely softhearted, do not have a principle next, without the bottom line, flood the child's need even with a kind of doting means. The doting way that we say, it is complete namely among this process, not not such and regret of not the not such worry for contented mom heart, such ashamed, sad, such feel distressed, so mom used a few means, went doing a few self-surrender again. Perhaps say to do a few very ambiguous businesses, so, be one does not have abstemious condition among this process.
Mom must want an issue that realize, ablactation to darling it is detached, to mom also be detached, so this process is a process of certain experience, we should accomplish tenderness and refuse sturdily. To can be done for mom one thinks this. Of course, here the edge also should consider case of one individual character and character are idiosyncratic. It is so among this process, mom is OK for company darling grows together, those who finish is a his abstemious ability, this is very important.
