Recently, first " 3 years old of Tong Mo are kicked " video is mad on the network turn.
In video, because little girl was filming the basket in the hand is put down in the process, be kicked from the back by one woman kick, still be in in the mouth be foul-mouthed: "You are best when I am being patted offend me less! "You are best when I am being patted offend me less!!
Video, broad netizen anger: The staff member is too beyond the mark! Close Mom looked how to be canned bear! But absolutely did not think of, those who play kick little girl is not others, be close Mom of the child.
Although incident already passed, can leave the parent think over to ought not to be interrupted at this point however.
A lot of parents may express to distain, what do I need to think over? I won't become the child " a ready source of money " , also won't be opposite child cuff and kick.
Really, the parent that body force carries out to the child in that way in resembling video is less and less, force of Dan Yan language is universal however consist in in concern of a lot of families, the health that affects the child badly grows.
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The health that affects the child badly grows..
From " bludgeon type certainly " arrive " cruel type is homiletic "
In the parent in child eye still violent
In the parent in child eye still violent
A few years ago, tubal child this thing is very simple, "The dutiful son gives under bludgeon " , " severe division gives Gao Tu " , the child is not obedient it is good to be beaten.
Nowadays, the times changed, the sort of crude " bludgeon type certainly " malapropos already. However, did not have " bludgeon type certainly " , came however " cruel type is homiletic " .
When child writing line of business is sluggish, parent right on the face is scolded suddenly " the exercise that write a place spent several hours, still pile a mistake, it is an idiocy really " ;
When child exam achievement is not ideal, the parent fly into a rage " how do you return clumsy than the pig? Take an examination of so poor, lose face lose arrived home " ;
The child made a point small when destroying, parent blurt out " the what evil that all one's life on me builds, be delivered of you so bastard " ...
Teach language harm from bludgeon, in the parent in child eye still violent, and often, language harm is greater to the child's harm.
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Language harm is greater to the child's harm..
Does the power of language force have after all how old?
Does the power of language force have after all how old??
Actually, the parent of the majority loves the child, they just hope children will have a bright future, look at female Cheng Fengxin to cut, when the child's behavior cannot achieve him to expect, in casual used language force to the child.
Inner world of the child is flimsy and delicate, when the language that faces the parent is violent, the child that has extreme and obstinate tendency magnifies with respect to the speech of meeting general parent, think father mother hurt his proper pride, produce a kind of anger thereby, go against the psychology that turn over, this kind of undesirable psychology will affect the child's the ways one gets along with others, in the future the child may become cynical, extremely vicious even person; And once the child that there is indrawn and compliant tendency on disposition suffers the language force of father mother, the likelihood is met translate into of their derisive, fling abuses a kind of psychology is alluded, think oneself are stupid person, it is lazy person...
Psychologist thinks, the sentiment with this kind of negative, suspicion, negative ego, let the child cannot the more comprehensive cognitive world, human relation that cannot handle health better, as time passes, the child may appear depressed, manic wait for psychological disease. More investigation shows, the teenage convict of 40% above, had sufferred parent phonetic harm.
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Had sufferred parent phonetic harm..
Prevent language force, need right communication kind
Need right communication kind
Does the home have piquant good how should the ursine child that move do? Marshall Lusenbao is in famous psychologist " nonviolent communicate " in one book, what mentioned a kind of harmony is close child communication means, divide in all for 4 paces:
1, observation
Observation, the first pace that dispute force communicates. The parent should have detailed observation to the child's behavior, but do not give a definition to the child's behavior. For instance, when the teacher tells the parent the child did not make work, the parent does not want rapid move to say to the child: "How don't you write line of business again? " want the parent to have judge to the child's behavior only, can cause child heart to be gone against mediumly return a mood.
The observation that does not bring a criticism is " the teacher tells me, you did not make work today, be what to issue give? " face this kind of objective query, because exercise is too difficult, too much,the child can be spoken, perhaps do not like the reason such as the teacher, the parent can undertake next educational guiding.
2, experience
Envisage a such setting: You want to let the child clean a room, the child has a sentiment, sprinkled the water of one ground. Can be you made why to react? Can say so: "You how so stupid, is this bit of bagatelle done bad? " if the parent is unfortunate medium gun, this shows your oversight the child's feeling.
Replace, the parent should set out from the child's angle, telling the child to let him do chore is to exercise his own capability, educational child wants assiduous, the manner is OK and proper strong point, but cannot censure at random.
3, the reason that understanding feels generation
Say to you when the child: "Mom, the meal that you do is not delicious. " what reaction are you?
Indignant? The heart thinks " work laboriously cooks to you, still dare cold-shoulder a meal insipid " . Evade? Censure the child " then I was not done, pron yourselves is done. Pron yourselves is done..
In these two kinds of hearts incorrect, the parent does not want personal feeling act, want to discover real demand of the child through communicating. Face the situation above for instance, it is uncomfortable that the parent should see the child above all, if everything is normal, the hutch that is about to consider to raise oneself art.
4, raise specific requirement
The child goes out dillydally, mom can say to the child normally: "You can quickly ah, always grind dillydally loiter, must urge you every time. " this is one kind coverts criticism, the child hears these, general meeting has very strong go against turn over psychology, continue slowly leisurely.
Right way is, the parent should raise specific requirement to the child, tell the child the hope what to they do clearly, for instance, "We were about to be late, go out after 5 minutes. Go out after 5 minutes..
Undertake with the child good communication is not an easy thing, after all the child and parent are having difference of old experience of life. This needs the parent many somes of patience, watch the child's action seriously, experience the child's psychology carefully, analyse its reason, raise specific requirement to the child next. Know esteem child when the parent, become a friend with the child, the child inevitable can opposite of more active ground is vivid.
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