Civil / Nai rain dirt
Graph / origin network
How yearning the day that was not in debt once upon a time with the yearning.
30 years old, after because of an accidental reason I am forced to be in debt, so far, set foot on so one is heavily in debt, be without the indebted life of dignity, make me so old bearing body and mind is tremendous the sufferring of pressure. It is life originally best time, however because from owe money to begin, the life becomes did not have colour, the heart did not have true mirth, also did not have former relaxed joy again, the easy and comfortable day 30 years ago is gone forever.
If at present I was not in debt, I should be met have a job that oneself like, the work that attributes middleaged person stability is being done in what be free from anxiety seriously on his post, after coming off work, for company child reviews a homework, picture, do handiwork, learn English, play play musical instrument. Taking the child to ramble on the weekend park, go to the strange beauty of field appreciation nature, go to a supermarket buying what love eats to feed material to come home make big and nice dinner. Dress up the home clean neat, there is love to have bright and clear mirth in the home, have the child's innocent smiling face, those who have be in harmony of its Le Rong read musical atmosphere. But all these however from indebted begin to never can have been had.
Of debt disturbing filled my whole life, every month has most lunar time is worn in collect the money of repay a debt, capital, accrual, be short of money how to should do next, how does the company do, how does the friend's money do, face what manufacturer leads to censure pressure even, look be like having a company is a young shopkeeper, look down on you at all in manufacturer leader eye such, even if he is the young worker that is taking salary, and you are trailblazer of the person that do poineering work, in the lays country person of forward position charge forward. Whatever reason, you did not complete the issue that the job that he gives is your ability, the problem of your itself, do not have any excuse to manufacturer. Yes, the business is myself, compare me without the person more on heart, understand than me it is difficult to do the market to have many more, how many cannot accuse to happen with sealed misfortune.
One foot steps indebted entrance door, be like without the road back to one's former position, abyss is step by step in front, it is fenny step by step, pull you forever a bottomless pit, you struggle desperately more, want to climb more, who knows however defect must be jumped over deep, somebody will pull you, pull the person that helps you into the perish together in this merciless marsh along with all the others however. Debt itself and be immersed in the person in debt morass is extremely terrible.
If at present I was not in debt, what my article won't be full of so much is piteous, also be the bruise literature that the netizen calls. My heart should be sunshine. I love to read a book, I can write a lot of book review, I can write a novel, can write beside most the story of energy tells everybody to listen. However my present condition is gloomy, the heart is heavy to the end of cereal. Face everyday urge in great quantities receive a telephone call, I already explained I am returned feebly not the reason of the name of the recipient, I am not envisaged auspicious forest there is miserable lot everywhere like elder brother's wife, pare cut everybody looks, reveal the source of my cut even, reason and time. So true very tired, unsuccessful anguish has been pressed I am suffocatively, had done not have raw nerve, I do not want to lose last dignity that be an upright person again, even if before all creditor the behavior that thinks I am current has many,have many unworthily blackguardly. If I have 100, I can take out 90 to go repay a debt, even if whether will I still have existent sth used to one's own advantage tomorrow, I endeavored. But creditor people be can pare you neatly, one minute not of remnant, because you are wrong at the beginning.
If I was not in debt at present, I can have happy family, belong to the love of family warmly, good friend, intercommunion is frequent and the kin with good relationship, but, I owed everybody, I I am sorry everybody is trustful to mine, my disappoint the deep love that everybody expresses me.
If I was not in debt, I can continue to learn, with the child one the travel before rising, go ahead together, probably I can take advanced courses, the world that goes to abroad goes to look everywhere, go to the Paris in my dream, still look without there's still time in me by the Parisian goddess courtyard of burn down, rose window, riverside of accept of a place of strategic importance, east bank coffee, sit by to writing the terrestrial thing that I see.
But, the life condition like an utterly worthless person and everything returns former condition impossibly again it seems that nowadays, the breaking that makes me right live countless times writes to a heart. Social doing makes the person feels to compare money without what more important, the person that should be in debt only is character hangdog, be without dignity, do not deserve to be an upright person, no matter you once had much view, you have how to confirm your good point, said the responsibility of your reimbursement and desire with you.
Traffic bank a of this morning male customer service calls come, manner aggressive, let a person really very break down, faint explanation is indecipherable also. He says " you do not have reimbursement ability now why do you still lend money at the outset then " , actually, our everybody can have an accident happen, each thing that you do won't have adumbrative what can you produce in the future, if know an outcome that still can have so much person to do at the outset thing. If I had known I am met dead one day, so I should not be born, also do not have living meaning. Where does such logic come, but they are ground of meeting arrogance aggressive forces mad you, because you are abjection now.
Ten million ought not to is you are in debt, you owed others, you still failed, and still adoring the failure in the society with consummate money at the moment, you became the guilty person of through the ages of society and family.
No matter others is believed with do not believe, the person that we are in debt is to spell its life ground is thinking method stage a comeback, standing fast again all supercilious look that oneself final a bit volition suffers a society do not abandon, reoccupy acts actually proving oneself live value, no matter believe with do not believe, language to the loser it is the palest, only silent struggle, pay off the debt that we owe already, no longer rabid, lend strength no longer, only do according to one's abilities, ability has belong to our real happy life.
