Everybody is good. I am Cui Cui.
We tell 3 classes how to be opposite through answering in front nervous, kink, complain, release your energy. We continue to discuss today, angst was how to take up our energy, and what can we do again.
1, offer pain spot - angst, introduce attention namely aggrandizement
You had encountered such situation in the job and life, want to had been done more do more bad, do more bad to jump over angst, virtually seemed to be immersed in hard in the odd group of extricate oneself.
Social high speed develops, life rhythm becomes fast, angst, become us more and more a hot word that often mentions. We are likely the performance anxiety for this month, promote to a high office for the job opportunity angst, to whether marry angst, for building loan angst, the prospective angst that decides for inaccuracy... nowhere is not in angst, be all-pervasive.
You may ask: How should I do, have method to be able to manage my angst after all.
Before giving you the answer, we make a psychological little game first.
Game is very simple, be in next in 15 seconds, you think what is OK, have a demand only, just must not think a shagginess, chubby become known is ursine.
Once you thought of this polar bear, game failed. Are you ready? Begin.
Good. Time arrives. Do you control yourself to did not think that polar bear?
It is discovery, you tell yourself ceaselessly the more, I but cannot think of that only big polar bear. That polar bear can change in the brain that pattern ground appears in you.
Do not have you only such, as uncontrollable as you the person that does not think of polar bear has a lot of.
This little game, it is sociologist Daniel accept of · Wei case has done famous " polar bear experiment " .
Experimental result is, those who participate in an experiment almost each person, the metropolis is ceaseless inside formulary time think of polar bear.
This is hard the trap of extricate oneself, resemble our angst. We jump over angst consider to want to solve a problem at ordinary times, this problem often is met form smoke into smother.
A lot of people have similar experience, when appearing on the stage to make a speech, tell to never mind desperately piece, jump over such wanting, more nervous, cerebrum a blank. Imagining applause thunderous originally, the result is, horizontal half develops even oneself do not come out.
Be still written down? We or student when, before the exam, a lot of have been not review, obviously very angst, but we can play to look again and again, brush drama, remembering with concern to do not have the course that reviews at the same time, more and more angst. .
We the more anxious, the more angst consider has done the business, the business often becomes worse, this aggravate our angst, we are immersed in an odd group in, struggle desperately.
Is this after all why?
2.Why to meet angst - attention namely aggrandizement
In the experiment that just was in, why I am not willing to think of more " polar bear " , "Polar bear " can you appear the more?
Weigena's research makes clear: Between this experiment, our cerebrum cent became two parts, executing the mission severally. A part is restraining us to want " polar bear " , and another part, check from time to time however: We think of " polar bear " .
Acid is, this kind of examination, remind us to think of ceaselessly instead " polar bear " . This is psychological place say -- pay close attention to namely aggrandizement (attention = aggrandizement) .
Make a speech even if such. Put the attention in when us " tell bad " here when, just can arouse pair of intense attention, you the performance that all energy can observe him only, is not speech itself. This just can cause the failure of the speech.
So you look, we pay close attention to the method of a problem, allow the method that this business becomes worse however instead.
It is to jump over angst really, worse. What how happen did you see this vicious circle is? We will look to cause the cause of this loop:
The first reason is, when you excessive attention some is nodded when, your attention can become narrow.
My colleague, her mandarin is not very standard, often meet the sound of a L, the sound with N is promiscuous, often make a joke. But her professional ability is very strong, be in in grand ceremony of trade annual meeting, she represents a person as year, want to appear on the stage to make a speech, share her experience and wisdom. Can be the accent that she pays close attention to herself too, before grand ceremony, she relapses instead answer practiced a few all night, correct oneself accent. This lets her instead more angst, the missay on the mass rally with fear oneself are in so significant.
You look, her attention becomes narrow, throw completely in pronunciation on this one thing, forgetting everybody to need what she goes sharing is his valuable experience, it is her commercial wisdom, it is her the most familiar, most self-assured business content.
The 2nd reason is, the anxiety that this kind of excessive attention causes, can make our movement is out of shape easily also.
Where is what meaning?
I know to an important report wants to write obviously, my right now movement should be to open computer as soon as possible, sit, begin to be written one by one, examination, optimize, refer. This is the movement that we meet originally.
But, once I begin worry, feel the report is written very hard, time is very pressing, this kind of misgivings is stronger, my movement can begin to be out of shape instead. To-and-fro in house, sit on sofa to syare blankly, open a mobile phone to brush small letter, brush clean out treasure, enter without method tardy write a report among this thing. If on the side someone says to you, doesn't your most important now thing write a report rapidly namely? You are met certainly indignation responds to her accompany each otheringly, do you think I do not know? I do not control myself!
These are strange, the behavior that does not know how to should explain, it is the movement that angst creates go up be out of shape.
How should we do after all then?
3.Settle way
When our angst when, encountering the largest difficult position is: No matter affirm angst, whether to still focus Lv, it is in aggrandizement angst, we are too dedicated went up in angst itself. Since such, we look, how disintegrate this " dedicated " .
The first method, be psychology " heavy directional theory " .
Where is what meaning? Since no matter be to increase,be in on a direction, still reduce attention, final result was to strengthen attention. So, be inferior to adding a new way, introduce new stimulation, disturb to notice way originally. If new thorn is intense tall, to original attention disturbs directionally the effect can have been jumped over.
For instance insomnia when, we often can consider all sorts of methods, sweet a kind of sweet grass, bubble bath, drink milk, several sheep, but these methods are not had is not in aggrandizement insomnia this thing. Sympathetic of their meeting activation, the hormone on kidney also is met violent wind rises, can make you more sober instead. And the method that I give insomnia the friend is: Abandon " should be asleep " this thought, go wanting to still have what thing, than the one Morpheus in the evening, more important, more interesting. Miss the book that read, motion picture that wants to look, game that wants to play for instance, perhaps owe that plan of the boss, simply this moment is flat go doing. After a lot of friends thought so, was asleep however instead.
Weigh directional theory, make sense common is, prescind force, let oneself pay close attention to a few more significant issues. We angst, because we want to let our have better job and life,be. But why be kidnapped by angst finally, did not enjoy better life? See this, that the focus, from angst move arrives " more significant issue " . I admit the existence of the problem, but, I can adopt this method, try to change attention spot from the problem first. Put attention drop on bigger, more significant issue when me, I discover I am original those things of angst, what also think at first without oneself actually is so important
But, still some of homecoming says, this method is admittedly good, can be me too angst, removed attention completely without method, I do not restrain myself to go angst those things.
Method 2, paradox interpose
I recommend a kind of very special in psychology treatment method to everybody again: Paradox interpose.
Its action is to use an issue. the problem of your angst, become your resource and dominant position conversely.
I have a friend, he is college professor, he has a few fear to socialization as a child. Listen to this, a lot of people can say, ah, that still can be become teacher lecturer ah. Hey, you said to be opposite, this is a problem really, but, it is the issue that can use however. Every time his bring into contact with a new class, he can say to classmates before attend class: I have a kind of disease, call socialization scared disease, do you know what the symptom is? Once see someone is playing a mobile phone,be me, perhaps sleep, my cerebra is met a blank, want me 5 minutes to just can be told then at least go down. Say this word, he looks at a fellow student that plays a mobile phone, begin to syare blankly. Whole class the whole room burst into laughter, everybody received the mobile telephone immediately. Then everybody becomes very dedicated, classroom effect is very good also.
Result, the mood of this teacher is very good also, education effect is better and better, annual education is evaluated, the grading of this class of the student is very tall, be among the best of candidates.
Again for instance that fears him L and N divide not clear fellow worker all the time, I say to her: Although you have oral speech sound, but this just is the characteristic that you talk, everybody is likely instead accordingly more the speech that remembers you. So, when you make a speech, must read aloud L and N intentionally wrong.
Magical is, make him intended read aloud a fault really, the time that he misses a fault instead is fewer.
Be very interesting? A problem, want to overcome it all the time when you, it became your nightmare, as if to also be not solved forever. But regard it as when you a very good thing, it did not maintain so easily instead. This is the paradox that we say, use an issue namely actually. the problem of your angst, become your resource and dominant position conversely.
Right now, the problem of your angst, no matter be your tarry it, still do not leave it, it is a favour. Want to feel relaxed so a lot of?
The male relative of a senior generation that provides a Confucian school of idealist philosophy of the Song and Ming Dynasties " Peter Deluke (Peter Drucker) ever also had said: What install in the brain of tall efficiency personage is not a problem, however opportunity.
Finally, our farewell thinks Weigena " polar bear experiment " , you suspect these people that participate in an experiment is from when to begin, thought of polar bear no longer?
Say when Weigena: Good, the experiment ended. Everybody can leave now.
Left experimental room when them, when beginning to discuss lunch what to eat, "Polar bear " disappeared naturally.
When having, regard the problem as when us " problem " , can conduce to solve it as soon as possible.
But more moment, circumstance just contrary, we regard the problem as more problem, the problem is more serious, do not have solution more even. We try to settle the way of the problem, can make a problem more exasperate.
The next time, in was immersed in such odd group when you, use the method that explains today please, 1, heavy directional theory, prescind force; 2, paradox interpose, turn the issue into resource. Him help stops. Stop, jump out that odd group of angst delimit, go in bigger, broader life, going when you, another turns first, discover suddenly, those ever let you perplex the angst that can't bear, had been in your richer and capacious life him clear up.
Good, review today's course, the time that gives oneself 5 minutes next, come answer dish oneself:
You why does the thing feel anxiety? What is the result that you fear truly? Now, you can make what preparation, will answer these results?
Change an angle to want, invite this problem of your angst, other use value? What profit can it bring to you?
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