These two days, on different gregarious platform, likelihood everybody by same incident brushs screen, perhaps be among the friend all round, caused intense discussion.
Late on April 17, shanghai Lu Pu Daqiao, year only boy of 17 years old runs suddenly the bridge jumps after getting off.
From inside the comes from each angle video that releases subsequently, we can see, the boy is jumping before the bridge, the mother is to ignore wagon flow risk first, park the car in trestle among, still get off the station is in pair of children to undertake criticism in backlash later even. Final, return driver's seat in the mother in a few minutes, the boy is covering the face runs get off, tragedy happening.
From run get off jump the bridge, whole journey does not exceed 5 seconds. We do not know at that time what is the brawl content of 2 people, but the despair that the child shows in that 5 seconds can blot out the sky and cover up the earth however the ground sweeps across the person, also let person doubt at the same time, want after all how acedia, ability chooses to die by unripe trend between instantly.
After incident happening, heat causes to discuss on the net:
Also many netizens express, oneself have the experience that follows boy likeness:
Should be obviously oneself closest parents follows on this world, in a lot of moment, brought the deepest harm to us however, force of this kind of spirit won't resemble body harm causing explicit loss euqally probably, but it can be attacked from interior break down one the individual's volition, the means that can make ego of choose of a person selected is harmed even comes each other make reprisals.
The mother in video, immediately afterwards the son runs, the look that fail to hold a son however and pounds ground cry bitterly is heartrending. We can't help just think, if the mother does not have rage ground to park the car,wearing high on, violent without applying spirit, did not say excitant speech, probably tragedy won't happen.
And now, mental force becomes commonner and commonner, often can come out " the boy cannot bear to criticize and commit suicide " the news of and so on, it is us after all too flimsy, or is mental force too terrible?
Today, we talk about mental force, see it can cause what effect, and encounter mental force how should be we done, the hope can help those who reduce this kind of incident happen.
What is mental force?
Spirit is violent (Psychological Abuse) the spirit that is pair of other brings to bear on violent, and the behaviour that causes harm to the body and mind of other. The menace that is thought to include utterance commonly and affront, purpose is controlled and disregard wait for behavior. Mental force still may accompany body force sometimes (K. Daniel&Roland. D, 2001) .
Mental force can be divided commonly for force of verbal force and blame utterance two kinds.
1. utterance is violentThe purpose passes a dialog to cause spirit to harm to other, perhaps speak to be arrived to be put in this kind of intent by other perception. Behavior of this kind of communication may be active also may be inactive, incorporate is menace, censure, abuse, dozen press and debase etc.
The United States ever had had a such tests, to 3, parents of 346 United States undertakes countrywide representative sample is analysed, the person that makes clear 63 ％ as a result reported or for many times verbal attack incident (Richard J. Gelles Et Al. , 1991) .
Verbal force also is more common normally, the anger that expresses through utterance often more direct, in mood engage in a battle, bring about the action that cannot dominate more easily also to happen, for instance the boy in news comes with stronger pattern backstroke -- the life that ends oneself.
2. is not verbal forceApply the person that be not verbal force expresses his anger normally through a few movements, throw the door, finish for instance certain thing, perhaps wait for means to cause spirit to harm to other through isolated, negligence, cold war again (Evans, 2012) .
This kind comes from spirit go up " cold " violent or " hot " violent, make the person is at a loss easily, do not know him err extremely possibly because of the other side what, can rely on to guess only, come cautious the behavior that adjusts oneself. In parentage, be not verbal mental force means also is a lot of parents with will make the child realises him " mistake " , safeguard the important step of oneself authority thereby.
If you sufferred mental force, what may experience
You may feel 1. by brainwashingThe person that you may be violated is informed, you are not yourself think in that way, and believe he says is right slowly. For instance you think you are a not stupid person, just take an exam to was not taken an examination of good just, but the person that violate won't think so, contrary, he can deny ceaselessly you, because do not have,give verbal humiliate, magnify error into cannot Rao Shu's fault. Emphasizing falling ceaselessly, you can produce the move that suffer a pain accordingly, the inactive critical sex speech that begins to think these are aimed at you is right, slowly, you can lose ego to know the same feeling.
You may feel 2. to be betrayed
If bring to bear on to you,the person of mental force respects, for instance our parents, when we are harmed, not be to comfort you to perhaps give you support, not ask cause ground censures inscrupulously however, so the feeling that you can produce a kind to be betrayed. What they can create the fault that is not you obviously is sequential, complete ascribe yourself, call it by a good name of " a hand is patted not noisy " .
3. you cannot build affinity possibly with otherIn the first phase of our life, come from above all to the acknowledge of affinity at parents, and if parents the manner to us is insult and hit pressure, we will be very then easy disappointed to affinity generation psychology, unavailable enough safe feeling, and trust very hard other. Open his mind to the closest person after all, the possibility that face is unending mental force, so in other affinity, we let ourselves very hard also not so be swayed by considerations of gain and loss.
What may mental force cause?
A lot of experience pass body force and the person with violent spirit, the feeling that thinks mental force is brought is more bad, can have exception of course, but as a whole, mental force can make you suspect yourself deeply (Evans, 2012) , if things go on like this, can produce more serious psychology problem.
1. drops the happy move of manhood period, bring mood issue
The person such as Professor Bolger had sufferred the child of mental force to undertake an analysis 2013 through coming 2004 to the United States, the harm that the verbal attack that excogitates parents causes is underestimated greatly, the undesirable consequence that its last can make us right the understanding of mood and behavior becomes confused, the control that reduces pair of sentiments controls capacity.
The child that suffers verbal force may be in development process the chance that lost perceptive happiness, he can not know what is the due behavior in normal affinity, the affinity that also does not know health can be brought what kind of experience, so that this kind is short of,break continuance to arrive manhood period, the happy sense that affects development to perfect, contented feeling and friendly feeling.
2. may increase meet with to have the risk of character obstacle
Consider to show, parents' abuse offspring has been experienced in childhood period, in adolescence or manhood inchoate, compared with the offspring that had not experienced utterance to mistreat, have higher occurrence margin model, narcissism, force disease and cranky model the risk of character obstacle.
Between the children that has experienced the body to mistreat, if still ever was crossed mental force, so the odds that he produces character obstacle and schizophrenia also can become greater (Jeffrey G Et Al. , 2001) .
These study the result all makes clear, childhood may conduce to the development of the mental symptom of certain type abusively.
The person such as Professor Richard ever differred to be in the children of the age undertakes study, all show same result: It is pupil, junior high school is born or high school is born no matter, often suffer parents the children of verbal attack, even if had not experienced body force, the probability that produces attack behavior, bad behavior and human concern problem also outclass is other children.
The mental force that comes from parents can pass an information to the child, that is, close to the relation person undertakes what be accepted verbal attack is OK. Sooner or later, parents is met probably by them " impart " the place of mood expression means that gives the child turns over bite. After these children are grown, they can become the person that apply cruel, continue to be opposite oneself spouse or child applying spirit is violent (Jorgenson, 1985; Steinmtz, 1977) , painful can acting acting according to legend.
So you may ask, what person becomes the person that apply cruel more easily?
Current research still hangs in the balance, OK and affirmative is, as a child be contaminated is in the child in the environment of mental force, for more harmonious than relation of build up front courtyard child, larger possibility produces similar action innocently of purpose.
But this is not meant had sufferred mental force you, was in by the hammer from now on " discreditable column " on. Next we talk, face mental force, how should be we done.
Face mental force, how should be we done? 1. Be certain mental force ought to be criticized
Below a lot of circumstances, when mental force person the trustful perhaps person that is your love, you may suspect, what place of the other side says is right, the matter says like place of the other side in that way, the problem is completely on him body. Perhaps can someone else tells you, "If you were changed, he won't scold you " .
Apparent, such logic does not have what truth, the act of the person that you ought not to be mental force is responsible, the focus that is just like female safety topic for discussion ought not to be put in the female to should wear skirt to go up. Be certain mental force ought to be censured, can reduce ego suspicion effectively, enhance ego to know the same feeling.
2. has taken care of him
Restore from inside the harm of mental force, taking care of his is a the most important thing that you can do. By mental force not your fault, you ought to are opposite as far as possible oneself are a bit better.
● goes to the place that you feel to you are yourself. If you go cafes, lakefront or the shop that you like most can let you feel happy, so the place that these places should go to when your mood is low every time namely.
● makes clear mental force to bring your influence, and believe it is OK be eliminated.
● finds the end that can bring a sense to oneself, try hard ceaselessly for it. The key of life ought not to be to be enmeshed at harm.
Even if leaves the person that violate without method temporarily, perhaps try to be communicated with the person that violate fail however, what also should make clear is life be an ego discovery and ego promotion is itinerary.
Not mental force person if put in the heart, it is a means with ego very significant protection, it is very difficult to be done probably, but we ought to remember what is health and regular communication pattern, when necessary, can seek the help of other, chat with the friend for instance, perhaps join a help kind organization, active dredge mood, is not choice ego depression, ego attributions.
After you are walked out of gradually, do not look round, want to remind yourself to perhaps plan to will come in instantly alive, in the past had gone. If you or meeting remember the harm that once had gotten, can pass an act or countersign will remind his, resembling is Dengbu Liduohui guides redundant memory among contemplative basin, you also can put finger in cerebral edge, oneself admonish by the side of edge roll " I had eliminated memory " .
The child that this each kills in video, not be as a result of weakness choice death. He also is the mother that retaliated his with the suicide at the same time. We often can see backstage acedia child, wish to kill oneself, let parents be his wanton to the child in the past harm to feel compunction thereby.
Here we want to follow all children that are harmed by parents to say, the most serious person on this world is yourself, be worth you to be punished with the means that harms your without the person. " libidinal city " in a word makes me impressive, "I Love You, but I Love Me More" , and the way that loves oneself is the saving force, await an opportunity to be far from the person that injures us, have been to the life of on one kind of truly happy joy.
Be worth you to pay happiness to punish without the person, be worth you to accompany Ta to be the same as jail of go to the fields without the person. Let us left the harm in the past in the past, because you deserve a kind of the happiest life. And this paragraph of word is more than still applicable on parental body.
Interactive now: Had you had the experience that suffers mental force? What kind of effect did it cause to you? What did you do to answer it? The welcome is in leave a message the story that area and we share you.
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