See a case first: Miao Miao is a little girl of 8 years old, go up elementary school 2 grade, she is indrawn and self-abased, only a classmate plays with her, do not come and go with other little girls. Miao Miao such disposition, have immediate concern with a job that produces when 5 years old.
5 years old of Miao Miao before also are lively and optimistic, domestic economy condition is pretty good also, but mom is right of the child thoughtless arrive, the child's dress is sordid, the hair is sordid also. One day, nursery school teacher was born in the hair that before whole class the face of all children says Miao Miao pedicular, the teacher also told Miao Miao mother certainly. Return the home, mom disregards Miao Miao's risk one's life to object, shave of seedling giving a young plant a bareheaded. Miao Miao feels to do not have a face to see a person, do not want to go nursery school, mom forces she goes again. In nursery school, miao Miao became everybody to show derisive object, she become very self-abased, closed. One up-to-date, went up elementary school 2 grade, disposition is so self-abased still.
The way of seedling seedling mom is very wrong, had not mixed considering child of 5 years old 3 years old former child is big different. The main limits of 3 years old former child activity is a family, it is OK to want those who get father and mother to approbate only. 4-6 year old the child, had moved toward nursery school from the family, those who long to obtain a companion admit and approbate. Shave bareheaded lets her feel additional kind, hit her self-respect.
4-6 year old the child has older territory, can know more new friend, experience all sorts of different environments, learn and know strange thing. They need to learn the regulation that abides by nursery school; Learn the skill that gets along with other young associate; Had vie, the psychological experience such as envious, anxious, fear. The bad habit that this age Duan Ke can appear and toe the mark, get along with the companion, and the mood that handles oneself is relevant.
One, 4-6 year old common bad habit:
(one) without communal and regular consciousness, do not defend common established practice:
If be in 3 years old before, did not build mannered habit to the child, 4-6 when year old, must build. Go up otherwise elementary school, in going up, learn, without custom, refuse to obey the sequential likelihood that certainly brings is to kip, run away from home etc.
Case: Bus of 7 years old of children kicks a person by cruel beat. On April 27, 2018, happen in Sichuan to satisfy the incident on peaceful bus, there is video on the network. A child of 7 years old has the bad habit that changes more, pillar is being circled to walk back and forth on the bus;
A when sitting on the side male youth work of 21 years old is not great, fire of the nest in the heart, this wanting that waiting for quietly, tell little boy quiet a little while. Little boy begins to kick him however, male youth instant erupts, male youth rampage rises, throw the child on the floor heavily. At present male youth is detained, child hospitalization.
Male youth says: "I let him sit at that time I this, want to make him bit more law-abiding, but he did not manage I, looked sidelong at me, jian hou mian still kicked me. I lost reason at that time, changed a hand. " Guo says one of these day, after playing perfect man, he is whole the person is muddled also, regret, nervous. Look at the child of ground be been in by him trip, he also does not know what to say, till be taken away by the police.
Mr. Huang says the classmaster of this child: In studying result, some gets on Guo Mou, had compared at ordinary times move, "Just not be in charge of oneself a bit, but won't go active court other people. " we believe the narration of classmaster is objective justice, the capability that does not provide him meaning to abide by communal regulation namely a bit is poor.
The child when this thing happening although 7 years old, but this kind of habit is formed had had period of time apparently, the parent was not corrected in time.
Parents ignore the education that has communal regulation to the child, cause " ursine child " stir up trouble happens time and again. Ladder of power cut of Chongqing child make water (did not say a few years old, it seems is in 6-8 year old between) ; Zhejiang justice black buy of elevator of make water of 6 years old of children falls; I am when Taiwan travel, a few 5-6 year old mainland child, talk aloud in cafeteria, run to run, parents is apathetic.
Correct a method:
1, parents sets an example: Abide by communal regulation strictly seriously.
2, the demand that says clear and communal regulation to the child, why does explain want to abide by in vain, the consequence of inobservant likelihood, get the child is agreed with.
3, build condemnatory system. Talk castigatory way together with the child. If inobservant how to punish: Can be privative his joy, perhaps bring anguish directly. Ask for so that the child agrees, gain consensus. If the child does not agree with condemnatory system, give face of his settle on these network video, look what can bring serious consequence. Child psychology is agreed with, won't go against instead, defied.
4, the agreement that executes you strictly, disobeyed cash stoutly castigatory measure. No matter be any reason and excuse, must be without exception.
5, if the child did not foul 10 days, can give a small award; 20 days did not foul, give a moderate award; 30 days, give a large award; 90 days, hold a grand ceremony, celebrate his give up bad mistake. But the agreement between you and child still arrives effectively 16 years old.
(2) tousle disposition, say bad language, name-calling, lay a person:
The child is 3 years old before say bad language, name-calling, lay a person, still belong to imitate and behavior of follow up action, study, some parents can master for the child even " new mastery of a skill or technique " and happy. The gangmaster extends the past to let the child hit, say gladly: "My home child can lay a person, will play father, play father! " there was not hyperbole, such doing of some pa Mom.
If after 4 years old, still say so, property differred. Had been specific bad action, must correct stoutly.
Correct a method:
1, tell the child calmly, say bad language, name-calling, lay a person, it is bad habit, be not allowed.
2, the way that talks penalty together with the child. If say bad language, name-calling, lay a person, how to punish, can be privative his joy, perhaps bring anguish directly. Ask for so that the child agrees, gain consensus. If the child does not agree with this,be bad habit, watch bus video to him, look what can bring serious consequence. Child psychology is agreed with, won't go against instead, defied.
3, 4, 5 Alexandrine.
(3) take a thing secretly:
Appear 3 years old before this kind of behavior still may be " cheeper droit " regular problem, 4-6 year old, had been specific bad action, or else is corrected, can form the bad habit of pilfer. Correct a method:
1, wait for a form through taletelling, letting child self-identity take a thing secretly is wrong action. Must achieve child heart to be agreed with truly.
2, tell the child, reasonable demand, speak out, father mother will be contented. Reasonable definition can be " system of domestic interior democracy " discuss maintain.
3, the power to make decisions that gives him pin money, by current deposit mode builds Zhang this, belong to his pin money, he has the power to make decisions of 100% .
The rewards and punishment below and carry out with (one) 3, 4, 5.
(4) lie:
4-6 year old the reason that the child lies has two kinds: It is to escape to punish or get a benefit, and lie intentionally; 2 it is cent is not clear that the imagination is mixed true, regard imaginary scene as by accident true and saying lie.
Correct a method: Be aimed at the first kind of circumstance:
1, demonstrative father mother understands he said a lie;
2, the purpose that cannot make his implementation lying want to achieve;
3, the means that uses taletelling, for example the wolf will wait, guide him to realise lying is a bad habit.
4, build system of rewards and punishment, with name-calling, like laying a person, rewards and punishment cashs means.
Be aimed at the 2nd kind of circumstance, guide him to distinguish Hunan story and imagination, unlike reality. This does not belong to bad habit.
(5) talk not count, not time keeping
4-6 year old the child, already clear live up to one's word is right the main effect of association. If this phase nurturance the defect of fail to keep faith, right henceforth grow very adverse.
Correct a method: 1, parents must be accomplished " Yan Bixin, travel needs if really " , no matter be parents to the child, still be the parental human association to the society, such
2, wait through taletelling, let the child realize the value of credit
3, when the child gives commitment, want to analyse affirmatory feasibility together with the child seriously. Avoid by all means the commitment that makes the child be accomplished hard.
4, of the child break his promise every time, parents should undertake analytic summing up together with the child, be accidental accident? Affirmatory still unreasonable? Improve the child's acceptance next, those who make is practical.
Make and cash rewards and punishment, alexandrine.
(6) abrupt bravery introductory note sends the child all sorts of is afraid of: Be afraid of black, be afraid of loneliness, be afraid of...
Case: Girl of 6 years old laughs laugh be afraid of black, the hair ability that there must be mom when sleeping falls asleep, awake in the middle of the night, if discovery catchs the hair that is less than mom, can cry greatly. Mom says, the child 2 years old many before still not such, become after 3 years old such, she also says to not be clear about the child why recreant, also do not know how to should do.
The child will be formed the day after tomorrow to dark fear, 0-3 year old the child still does not have worry and fear. After 3 years old, arrive 6 years old in 4 years old between, the child can be experienced in daily life a series of fear and angst. Cause a few bad habits then. Laugh laugh at the fear that has pair of very late night, still have pair of deep outcast fear, catching mom's hair only, how does ability leave a heart. To the account that dark fear produces:
The fear to darkness and heard a few horrible stories related to darkness, saw the TV that an eccentric person appears in a few darkness, film, cartoon; Or in a few game, all sorts of danger appear in darkness, let the child mix darkness insecure established connection.
Means of settlement:
1, the story that does not tell darkness and dangerous connection to the child, do not watch this kind of film and video, do not play such game.
2, it is normal to tell the child to be afraid that darkness is special; Father mother also fears in one's childhood dark. But in the home in oneself, beside father mother, won't have any risk.
3, install light of a small dark to the child, do not make a room completely dark
4, before sleeping, accompany in child the head of a bed, tell a story a little while to the child
5, tell him dad to mom is in next door, ask him to be at ease.
Outcast fear: Particularly sticky parents: Also parental misconduct causes this. After 3 years old, a lot of children can ask: "From where do I come? " metropolis blurt out says a lot of father and mother: "Collect those who come. " " hold in the arms those who come " ... and the child is met special mind this issue, can you ask how to be collected to come? Inquire into the root of the matter ask detail. Some children hear of is collected to come, can cry greatly. A lot of parents can feel this kind of reaction of the child is very interesting, then more be happy to leave to the child " you are to collect come " such fun. Parents is actually casual the answer between, have quite big impact to the child.
4-6 year old the child still cannot understand this is a fun. Once he believes parental word, wear with respect to mean him once by abandon. He thinks of naturally, once was abandoned, mean possible still again by abandon, can generate outcast fear consequently.
Can produce serious dependence to parents so, once cannot see parents, with respect to meeting uneasiness and angst. 6 years old of girls that mention in front laugh, it is this kind of circumstance. Ten million cannot say with the child, he says those who come to collect. Want to tell them, it is oneself are unripe, flow inside his body dripping the blood of father mother, lifetime is changeless, father mother loves him also lifetime is changeless.
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2019/5/7
