Do not have which China villages and towns probably, like the Anhui province factory of calm of the 6 wool that bring city is pressed down same, be born for the university entrance exam only it seems that: The restaurant in small town cries " wine shop of Number One Scholar " , the supermarket cries " supermarket of institution of higher learning " ; Pressing down what stick in wholesome station is the connection phone of middle school classmaster; The health protection that sells best is tasted is a head pure and fresh with 6 walnut; The banner that plays on the street is " student of companion of × × brand sets his mind at to be free from anxiety success immediately upon arrival " ; Get on even tricycle to also hanging the university entrance exam to pour timing card even; Draw near the university entrance exam, booth hit even leather shoes " celebrate the university entrance exam, put value greatly " sales promotion advertisement...
The soul of this small town and core, it is a high middle school of more than 20 thousand person: Middle school of wool calm factory (reach Jin Anzhong to learn) .
What learn in wool calm factory is famous because the proportion of students entering a schools of a higher grade of key university is mixed,not be take an examination of on the amount of Tsinghua Beijing University, and the take lessons after school that depends on this school passing one year,
As famous " factory of Asian the university entrance exam " , middle school of wool calm factory in last few years number of undergraduate course enter a higher school exceeded dimensions of 10 thousand people, although be in of Tsinghua Beijing University admit a number to go up very few, and often spit groove, the university entrance exam 2018 is for instance medium only 1 person is taken an examination of on Tsinghua.
But of this school go up originally line rate had been achieved 65% , 2 rate were to exceed 95% more! Of middle school of wool calm factory answer read the decay that is born to be able to realize life, besides the environment, do not divide with the effort of oneself already, also accompany particularly with middle school of wool calm factory read parent group to concern.
There was media coverage recently, learn in wool calm factory " accompany read the parent " in, some accompanies the child that reads his only, because some parents see business chance, begin to solicit the business centrally. It is reported, have " accompany read the parent " altogether generation is accompanied read many 100 student, turnover is amounted to one year " 200 much " ! This matter becomes public opinion heat quickly.
Actually, this turnover should be gross income only, if share equally arrives on body of 100 many students, also control with respect to 20 thousand yuan each. Contrast again wool calm factory accompanies the thing that reads the parent to need to do, do not feel this is a large number it seems that.
In video to load. . .
This is the child's the university entrance exam, also be parental the university entrance exam!
In choosing to come to wool calm factory, learn to accompany read parent, do not be other, hope the child can gain enough nutrient support and strength in this year namely.
The doorway learns in wool calm factory, resemble everyday at the moment this is accompanied after reading the parent to send eat to the doorway to eat a meal to remain to the child, the appearance that takes leftover again is being performed. Somebody plaints child learning pressure is great, who can know to accompany the learning environment with read the parent to be in better to give the child creation to fall again, where is the hardships that pays rear?
Of course, the time that makes meal besides every is exact outside accusing, they take out time to change children washed dress to wash good insolation even. It is particularly good to if catch a day,be enraged, whole be to wash the dress to dry the clothes everywhere inside the courtyard that leases a building, occasion is grand very.
Wraparound rise, of middle school of wool calm factory accompany read (era accompanies read) the work that the parent needs to do has a lot of:
① does work of good rear service, (eat to go) ;
The mood of ② smooth and steady child, everyday child of life problem side is solved reduce psychological burden (with the teacher, classmate be on bad terms because of a difference of opinion) ;
③ cooperates actively with the teacher, time can communicate the child be in with classmaster the circumstance of school;
④ parent mood should be stabilized (the parent's every word and deed is passed imitate, suggestion, infection, the state of mind that direct or indirect ground is affecting the child)
⑤ gives the child a quiet environment (review an environment boisterously to will make mood be agitated of the child, attention cannot be centered, the influence reviews the result)
⑥ must not too chatter (very may much parent is more nervous than the child, but be sure to keep in mind not to want too nag, do not say to be not taken an examination of to the child all the time on meeting how, do not list all the time do not take an examination of the disadvantage that go up)
⑦ does not want too interfere the child " gregarious " (can let the child be loosened appropriately, similar of course drink or too late activity can be restricted appropriately, assure safety first. )
Doesn't ⑧ always ask " review how appearance? " (just think, if we want to had taken a difficult path from a rapid river, before crossing the bridge, say to be able to be like how about ceaselessly why, can when crossing the bridge, you still go smooth and steadily so? )
Above these 8 are accompanied it is good to read the job to want to do, had been very bad thing actually. But to Chinese parent, about high school phase whether to during the university entrance exam is reviewed, go especially " accompany read " , compare it seems that how " accompany read " more kink... (look below a few high school unripe parents are right of this problem leave a message! )
1, know fairly well, let her have bit of free-standing capacity. 2, my home child does not let accompany! 3, not necessary. Virtually increased psychological pressure of the child, also go against the child's independence. The child also thinks, hammer and tongs, the common heart that leave is treated 4, the plan is accompanied read do good rear service to work 5, very contradictory! The child learns ability independently too poor, do not look at play. Have all round me fulfil his duty than me responsible the mom ~6 that takes care of child meticulously, look at him, if he still goes idea investment to study. Do not put study to go up with respect to both ends " abandon " . Also have all round me quit the job the mom of special housework. Nod assist for such mom! 7, should go to work go to work, joint efforts, have each other drive goodly. If put down industry company to read, can bring the child greater pressure only. Should receive every week only come home it is good to eat to have a meal or send a meal. In Guangdong Zhongshan, did not hear of what should put down industry company to read. 8, oneself feel to not was necessary, accompanied temporarily, cannot accompany generation, impossible every time turning point puts down the job to accompany, everybody has his responsibility and the thing that should do. The child's future must rely on him himself to plan from beginning to end, self-conscious, go all out in work hard. 9, not necessary, parent spy angst, still do not give help on, influence child. If parentage is special good, and can teach on school work, can rise in the home " extracurricular teacher " action, should not talk additionally. 10, the part that our everybody has him, the part that attributes us is more than, every part has the responsibility that attributes it and obligation, as mom, I can do my best give the child support, more it is the encourage travel on the encouragement on spirit, example! I am mom, I still am myself, I cannot abandon belonging to my career, life and friend, in the meantime, I hope the child is clear more, everybody has his responsibility, obligation, but also have the life right that belongs oneself to become independent, our everybody wants to be in charge of to his life, is not to rely on others, include father and mother, so, I can use effort, active, joy to go only incentive child, and company of pattern of won't full-time nurse. 11, I feel parents should let go, make a child independent, it is OK that the life that assures him does not have care. 12, needless, common heart. Do not bring the child his intense sentiment surely. 13, I also feel full-time to accompany read not necessary, still increased pressure to the child in that way. The child makes they grow naturally better, of our parenthood do well guide, it is good to cooperate and be encouraged! 14, do not need, but need offers a quiet environment to give child study. E.g. : Those who decorate and so on cannot be do in the home, if and so on of the lamp in the home, electric equipment became bad, go to school in the child do not be in the home when with respect to arrangement the person fosters cordial relations between states. If must be accompanied,read, understand the child's desire even. 15, if the child has the need of mentally, for instance: Because pressure of the university entrance exam is too great, bring about and so on of depressed, insomnia, that had better be about many a little bit to accompany. If the child can learn according to the rhythm of the school, do not need to accompany read. 16, do not give the child too great pressure, do not need to be accompanied painstakingly read, but need is communicated more, know inner world of the child more, psychological physiology is safe growing ability is the most important thing. 17, I think to not was necessary, the life that keeps original is good! 18, the psychological pressure of such children is gotten how old. 19, if be the disabled,that is very be necessary to accompany read, the meeting on the life has a lot of inconvenience, if arms and legs is sturdy, that is accompanied it is harmful and profitless to read, this moment still does not develop independent character, independent viability, want to rely on parents to keep out wind and rain all one's life to you. 20, individual feeling is done not have necessary and special accompany read, the pressure that gives the child so is too great. Make sure child alimental nutrition is good at ordinary times. 21, I drop the job without the plan, go accompanying read, just can pay close attention to him with dotty time, because I think you put down the job to accompany,read, virtually can increase his pressure. Nevertheless the child has the requirement of this respect to be able to be done. 22, I am being accompanied read, send at ordinary times send a meal, the child communicates the thing in study with me everyday, for instance today, she says mathematical take an examination ofing was bungled, I say to have nothing to do with, if be won't, become this kind of problem more, if be carelessness, cannot Rao Shu, oneself think over how to be corrected, took an examination of do not have necessary go again kink. 23, my home is accompanied without the condition read, still have a second. Nevertheless I am met as far as possible go to the school more, borrowing the plane that sends a meal and child communication. Weekday goes every Saturday before, now the nursery school on the second, can go a few times more every week. Have profit very much really with child communication more ~24, main it is the child own study, child indocile word can consider, or the parent is capable to accompany read, the child's word can coach after the class, or not necessary. 25, if do not have ability to coach, the teacher that is inferior to a money that go to work having experience please is mandatory, accompany than oneself had read. 26, tall 3, had better accompany read, but some children are not willing to accompany read, not be to have pressure, however incommensurate at the beginning, had met slowly, achievement is willing well to use time more, and the affirmation that wants to quit not very study does not want to accept an obligation. 27, my son said March this year, mom I in one's childhood you were not beside me, can come back to accompany before hope the university entrance exam accompany me, just began to should ask a few times how in the evening after back and forth when, be afraid of be late, I say you are at ease later sleep, I moved 3 alarm clock, this is done bad, I also do not deserve to do your Mom. 28, basically be tall 3, the child does not have time arrange at all the thing on daily life, what food also does not have what he does to eat is good. Still have the school often occupied, get the parent to go arrange. 29, the individual feels in residence lays different ground, conditional can consider to accompany read, this locality in residence is born and of attend a day school do well at ordinary times logistics safeguard of the child is enough, take care observation child to change at ordinary times, problem of psychology of seasonable dredge child! 30, for the child grow, still come back to accompany read! My child junior high school begins me to be accompanied read, the second year in high school on now, junior high school does not feel previously, arrived high school, feel the child is very painstaking, money does not earn, accompany the child that accompanies oneself more, attend a college later the time that gets along with our parents is less and less. 31, what if do not have external condition,restrict is necessary, pure belong to production insecurity atmosphere, increase pressure. 32, I can not think absorption accompany read, feel such meetings give the child aeriform pressure, do not want to change original position, this in residence still is in residence, also did not deal with attend a day school to him. 33, not was necessary. Filial study is serious, but not be exclusive. Everybody goes company is read, that is a what kind of scenery.Determination was decided to accompany below some parents read, because the result gets along medium a bit bagatelle, be pulled on small letter and QQ by the child black. Oneself were paid so much, those who change is a such results, the parent's anguish cans be imagined!
Later development is a mom is pulled by the son black hind the letter that writes a son:
Dear son:
I feel, if the close affection between Mu Zizhi becomes scanty unfamiliar from, that is a mom the biggest aching.
From go up to speak of Saturday!
Mom never says to agree with you a person lives in in the evening accompany read a house, tall 3 phase, very crucial to you, we do not wish to have any carelessness and accident, you say a person lives in at the outset accompany read a house, it is to be reviewed better, I return interface to say then I send a meal, did not promise you on the weekend when leave you a person is accompanying the pass the night that read a house.
If you have special thing, read a house than be being accompanied as learning to borrow in the evening, mom inconvenience is attendant wait a reason a moment, you can discuss with mom, communicate well, is not photograph of crude to mom language to, play black mother? !
You think you had grown up 18 years old, so adult should have basic eye and control power more, know to be somewhat do not be somewhat, you got education of ten years, how can you do not have basic courtesy and accomplishment on utterance communication?
This is the place that makes mom the most aching, hurt my heart because of you not just, more because I am your mom, on your utterance coarse and irreverent, also be I do mom this teach not in the proper way, I am more aching did not teach you good.
Is there a word had you heard of?
Parents is in, shang Youlai is in life,
Parents goes, life remnant one's way home.
Son, remember certainly please:
In serve father and mother, when treating one, the main should have accomplishment that shows you with decent language and behavior please and courtesy, this is you what humanness conducts oneself in society is essential, the person is being done, the day is looking, if you cannot respect even parents, who can you still respect?
Mom hopes the first times to yours: I hope your in the future won't because inadvisable uncivilized words and deeds loses more stuffs.
Next, on Saturday in the evening, you did not return overnight, up to now why didn't you come home to also was not answered that evening without the explanation accompany read a house, is this you is those who think grown?
State-owned national law, the home has a plan, do you think for no reason at all does not greet sb not to put in this thing 's charge all night not affect the whole not worth to be carried?
Dam of river of a thousand li, break through Yu Yi acupuncture point, you this generation youth, too much inspect a tradition to be trifle, advocate the tide of flatter oneself, do not want to restrain oneself, had sought the way that is less than oneself in game of a few electrons and network game.
But become you static next hearts will want, did not control oneself, he Lai self-improvement and freedom? Do not forget first heart, from beginning to end, it is one puts where really worth while and thoughtful classical. Hope you precipitate oneself heart, find oneself way, come true hard it.
Know self-discipline, do not drift with the tide, this is the 2nd mom hope to you.
Talk about your study again.
You are hopeful take an examination of a better university, I know 3 people basketball surpasses drag in these days you are too much energy, bring about you to attend class occasionally tired out was asleep. Become mother actually do not support you to be in really so nervous Gao Sanjie paragraph still play such game, but I know I object doing not have any action, because your dream is this year,take champion.
Such condition, the university entrance exam that does not affect you fors reference also is impossible, but do not have a few matches fortunately, after ending the contest, adjust position well, enter the university entrance exam to for reference condition!
Resent 30 days from the university entrance exam now, mom expects you dream to come true!
This letter also caused the discussion of parents:
One part parent feels this mom is written very let a person touch, spoke their aspirations.
And another part parent feels not to want to believe this to the child to look before the university entrance exam, him parent also needs to think over.
Viewpoint one:
The parent expressed to speak aspirations, this is tall the mood with 3 children deeply anxious mother.
@ blue strawberry: Also I want to say to the child in article, those who write is too good.
@ word: Taking pulling snail to ramble the mood of the park and action and child grow together, the child's expression is the report that the family teachs actually, the child went a problem to explain domestic education gave a state. Continuous study, ceaseless think over, adjust ceaselessly, grow together with the child. The high school that is mentally and physically exhausted likewise gives birth to the parent.
@ looks for father to communicate, father is met growl, the son can be subdued, next mom understanding aches, final authority becomes reconciled.
@hunter: Very touching, the mom of wisdom! ! But it is more important to communicate means method with the child! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Viewpoint 2:
The parent thinks this is a homiletic letter, did not communicate, can rise to combat the effect.
@ Ke Ke 1: I also am a Gao Sanxue's unripe parent. Can say a fair word, the child is a piece of white paper, you said a result only, I think should have a thing to develop a process. How long-term mother child communication can bring about such result you did not say. Child of 18 years old, it is your little is feeling those who be brought up, he has today this disposition also is not one day is caused. Go out to others mouth in him invective at the beginning of, how didn't you want to attend a meeting one day he also meets the mom to oneself also such.
@ parent 1: Group li of parent father that one has mana very much offer, do not give the child this letter. His politely, at the same time very cordial also ground expresses, this letter really literary grace is very good, but it is all the time engrafting to the son a few principles and truth, either a kind communicate effectively.
This father thinks, communication is the process of crossing-over of information, thought, communicating is the process that thought and emotive are delivered between person and person and feedbacks, the accord of thought of in an attempt to and emotive unobstructed, the understanding of a mom and conversion can not see in whole Fengxin, draw near the university entrance exam, this letter is afraid the university entrance exam that meets the child takes needless thought responsibility. . If be him, he can be accompanied and support the child to play 3 people game, there were communication and communication time and space in this process.
@ parent 2: 18 years old passed early traitorous period, so appearance is very serious still to parental problem, the grow into useful timber grows up first. You should try to let the child stand heart, but must hold means method, you talk with him again when he is glad, do not preach blindly, more want very straight the love that expresses you to him in vain, if he is not happy,do not manage him, a meal does not have hunger to be not worn, one be not being answered in the evening also is not doomsday.
@wangyinzhu: Understand the depressed and helpless, amiable anger of this parent, still suggest this letter does not look to the child, what I experience from inside the letter is the parent is criticising the child is not sensible, not filial parents, after cursing him even, can regret, cannot see the mom love to the child, to the child's understanding. This meeting lets the child feel ashamed remorses, ashamed regret can make him self-condemned oneself are bad. What truth knows so big child, most those who abstain from is to give him preach reason. This plants parents " I am good for you " the love of strong Jian , Jian the child's too much pressure and anguish, did you see the child's anguish? Should have much anguish, much more helpless, ability should push mom. Proposal mom loosens him, staring at the child, must become the word of what, watch 3 people game together with the child, see the child is glad, you are glad also to fall.
Viewpoint 3:
The parent expresses to encounter be pulled by the child likewise black business.
@ beautiful graceful: Be pulled early black over- , add a good friend again now nevertheless, but screen cannot see his space.
@ Zhou Zhou: I am pulled early black hind, after promising an university now nevertheless, small letter adds me.
@ Chu Ying: Before my home also cutout my QQ two, I also was not responded oneself are added again later, cold treatment is not the impulse of the thing in a fit of anger with alarming what.
@ parent 3: The letter that read you is very distressed really, my son is tall also this year 3, between the bearing of the way one speaks or what he says that I say him OK and proudly never half dirty child, of course we talk before him also is such.
Scorching sun of @ burning sun: Be written very truely, you can understand after believing the child
The month in @ lens: It is a mother together, can understand mom very much at the moment the mood! Sunshine always is after harships, accompany attentively, the child can understand your pains, cheer!
Viewpoint 4:
The child has a problem, but the parent's responsibility also cannot shirk.
@lydy2000: Cannot help also wanting to talk about a few: Child nurturance such, also have as the parent actually cannot the responsibility of shirk, parents is the child's best teacher, and the way that domestic environment can affect child disposition directly more. The child pulls you black also not be extremely big thing, important is you did not find the properest way to be communicated with the child, one do not answer in the evening, you also are done not have necessary wanting him to give you the explanation at the moment, this as good as is add fuel to the flames, you want a change on the way that handles an issue so.
Lily of @ Ke Ke: All problems that appear on child body are parents taught a method to give an issue actually. Above all this mom did not respect the child, the child thinks week of a person did not stay in accompany read a house in, demonstrative child does not want to face mom. Mom is very strong and different meaning, accompany reading a house is the 2nd home, a person lives over on the weekend without what not possible. Accompany read a room to cannot go the child is forced but can elsewhere is slow-witted, be said to did not return overnight.
Child of distrust of this the 2nd mom. Think a person lives in accompany read a room to not be in supervisory limits of mom, may do the business that the thing that has nothing to do with study or you cannot accept, how do you know the child is not to think quiet without disturb the geoscience to be used to thinks and plan?
The 3rd gave a problem to did not review his. Man Bing is the child is not, don't oneself oneself have a problem? The child has come to just can be pulled extremely disgustedly actually to you black with speak rudely. Think oneself say with what do be right certainly? Making good for the child bugle call, doing the business that hurts the child. Also be the common fault of a lot of parents. Once also was not respected so because of me and do not understand the child, consciousness is less than his problem. It is tall the parent of 3, let us do better father and mother together, child nature has been met.
Viewpoint 5:
Tall the pressure of 3 caused this kind of behaviour, it is temporarily actuation.
@ Zhong Yofang: I what be graduate parent together, see this article is euqally anxious? , can good, give the child space and time.
@ Wang Xu is the most marvellous: Do not look to the child before approve of the university entrance exam, the child is good in this age flimsy, he just perhaps abreacts to dear, after passing, he can understand mom's pains, give bit of time, give bit of space the child, knowledge explodes today, the child of the university entrance exam is not easy, understand banzai.
@ Gu Yuefeng is lubricious: 2 tone did not take an examination of the child good, husband says, a few months await quietly finally, do not make a noise, do not want to be troubled by, the pressure in child heart is too great, din cannot solve a problem, waited for the university entrance exam to be over, besides.
@ is small power: Now singleton female it is mostly in meticulously in caressing, be brought up, be thwarted ability is too poor, bear hardships spirit also is far insufficient! Itself is tall 3 pressure hill is big, parents again surelysubject sb to discipline is too tight produce ultra action easily, the university entrance exam was over to do not have pressure should good.
@ clear month 1919: Agree with this father. Also reminded me at the same time, I also am a mom that likes to preach.
Actually, whether does high school unripe parent need full-time accompany read, this depends on 4 gist element:
One, whether is economy permitted
This is first class important matter, want to accompany read still must treat economic condition. Also be equal to, only a person is in in the home make money, have an economy source only. Of original full-time madam, that also is done not have how old influence. Be on-the-job personnel originally, resign even bear not small pecuniary loss. Of course, everything for the child. Nevertheless, still need act according one's capability.
2, whether does the child need
Some children, she prefers attend a day school of in school accommodation unaccustomed outside school. That is an atmosphere, and it have what news is OK to have what news know for a short while. In school accommodation, need what the child has the life to go up to provide for oneself ability. If still compare those who depend on the parent, that is accompanied read need more to her. If oneself can handle daily and trivial issue, the parent is accompanied read not was necessary.
3, the effect is apparent
Do not be at ease really, can try to accompany read a month. See each side, to benefit what fraud whoing for the child. A lot of specific issues, the ability in real still life sees. Accompany this read month in, the change that always produces on advertent child body. Again according to actual condition, whether does the choice continue to accompany read. If the effect is apparent, that nature goes down without any hesitant continuity.
4, family whether give attention to two or morethings
The canal got a daughter, where is husband? Husband is not beside, oneself a woman is again able also hurry-scurry of hard to avoid. Again great female, also be to long to a thick shoulder is in tired when can rely on. And wife is not in the home for a long time, make off the rails big the main chance easily to Laogong. This, who is of test after all?
The case of every family is not similar, must measure advantages and disadvantages adequately to decide to whether be accompanied again read.
In summary of numerous experience of a n experienced person, have read the parent to accompanying at 2 o'clock for very helpful: Encourage ceaselessly, say less to listen more.
One, encourage ceaselessly
Although looked this at 2 o'clock,be like very common, but how be done? Especially many parents encourage the child rarely as a child, blow is more, see the child's weakness, capture do not put, too difficult!
The parent should realise the level that cannot use adult world all the time to measure the child. In competition intense environment falls, the adult had been been used to carry bad name of job of pressure, excess load, back... when should not bearing, meet try every means releases counteractive and pressure, negative information. But minor is different, their psychology bears capability is not quite strong still. If the child had borne in the school,think a lot of pressure, especially tall the child itself of 3 faces enormous pressure, return the home when him, face woebegone parents to be applied to him ceaselessly again pressure, if he does not want to break down, can escape only!
Accompany read the parent to want to be encouraged to the child, encourage again, did so really, the child's manner is met more and more active, confidence is fuller and fuller, achievement promoted steadily.
2, say less to listen more
In the experience summary of parents, saying less to listen more is the principle that communicates with the child, be in this 3 tall sensitive period, this bit is very important also. The parent often should think over, restrain oneself mouth, insignificant word does not say, those who want child of great listen respectfully.
What the child on road of the university entrance exam needs most actually is love is mixed encourage, and parents always are a word much, because,be too angst, have pity on heart of the world parents!
