Ever listened to many people to pour out:
I most be afraid of troublesome others, thought of a certain friend, call to him talk about a day to get kink a long time, be afraid that the other side is in busy, disturb a family. It is more on the job most be afraid of others incommode, what thing oneself are carried.
They are taught as a child:
Be an upright person should self-made, until the last moment, do not bother others easily.
Agree with the person of this word, also often believe another word: Ask for help is inferior to begging oneself.
But, we can discover sometimes: Those like to bother the person of others particularly, often pass weller, also very action person likes.
Is this why?
1
An example
When 12 years old, qiao Busi should design a machine, can get stuck was in on the making link of frequency tally. Be in for many times hard fall without the circumstance of fruit, qiao Busi grabs phone, the · comparing Er that hit much town of California handkerchief Luo Ao rests interest is special.
After the phone puts through, qiao Busi says directly: "Hello, I call Qiaobusi. I am 12 years old, it is a high school student. I want to do tally of a frequency. Do I want to ask you have redundant parts of an apparatus to you can be used to me?
Phone that, the · of 54 years old that compare Er rests benefit laughed especially.
He did not reject Qiaobusi, solved his problem patiently however, gave Qiaobusi the parts of an apparatus of frequency tally not only, still let him jackaroo to him company.
Does the · that compare Er rest who is benefit especially? The father of the Silicon Valley of famous, the author of HP company, the god in Silicon Valley exists commonly.
Since after-thought old before that puerile and appeal bravely phone, qiao Busi says:
"Most person is not willing to take a telephone call, do not appeal others, sometimes this distinguished actor and daydream person.
Those are not willing to bother the person of others, it is more seek a help to be equal at the trouble.
But want to know, do not have a person to be able to solve all difficulty and problem alone. Know troublesome others, it is a kind of positive attitude, it is we are exhausted can another kind of choice later.
2
Why do we want " troublesome " others?
The noble in life often is " troublesome " come out
Some people are when it is difficult to encounter, always have tall person seasonable skill rescue sb from a siege; And some people, be born firstly eventually, had done not have a few times " lucky " .
Both the biggest difference depends on, latter wait for windfalls, crouch in the home to wait for noble to come; And former and active hit out, find the person that oneself need, tell him next: I need your help!
The person that dares to bother others has a very main character: Active " ask for " . Once opened a mouth, very much lucky nature arrived.
To it similar point of view, be called " effect of rich Lan Kelin " , result from the one Duan Yi thing of rich Lan Kelin of American country father:
Once, he thinks with legislature of Ni Yazhou of guest evening standard an assemblyman cooperates very much, but this assemblyman is an ironhearted character that tangles hard.
What he knows this assemblyman is private the rare world books that there is an out of print in collecting books, enquire whether assemblyman can borrow him to look two days then. Assemblyman agreed, the thing no less than that happens next is rich of depict of Lan Kelin place: "When we meet again, he talked to me (before him never so had done) , and very polite. Later, he still shows to me he is willing to be my work for at any time. He still shows to me he is willing to be my work for at any time..
The successful end that rich Lan Kelin lends book place to bring him is a simple principle: "Letting others like your best method is not to help others, let others help you however. Let others help you however..
And, the person that once had given you help, be willing to give you help again more.
Dare " troublesome " the person ability of elder grows quickly
A reader ever had had such experience:
Much when I jackaroo year ago, in famous big media works, the name Dou Rulei of a lot of people in the office as string of 1000 cash ear, accordingly at the beginning, I enter Gu Fu like Lin Daiyu kind, "Take a heart step by step, care about constantly " , wary him missay word err finishs sth, went out ugly, prep let alone bothers others.
Do not understand dare not ask, do what do not understand to die with respect to oneself knock, the result is to learn very demandingly, the setback feels full.
But my discovery enters a girl of the group at the same time with me, the style is very different however.
Elder is taking us to go out together interview, all the way she asked all sorts of little white questions, did not worry about troublesome elder. By the person that she appeals, did not cold-shoulder her, always greet to photograph of her smiling face instead, she is in the office very quickly also inside and outside, mixed a face ripe.
She is alleged only not only " can come thing " , however one kind sends the self-confident calm from the heart, inconvenient moment always can seek pair of people, go appealing actively; When others needs her, she also can help sincerely.
Just entered the youth of duty field, must learn " ask for " . Ranking, ranking superior, there is how many ability to be worth you to learn on their body, how many resource can be used for you, you must smell like the lion bloody flavor is same, go getting these things. Only such, just grow possibly in the apace inside a few years.
"Troublesome " the essence of others is more effective ground solves a problem
Our times, had been the times that singles fights alone no longer, everybody has his specialty and gift. The difficult problem of one individual a manner of anxiety or happiness, perhaps be the expert good fun of another person.
If encounter the problem that cannot solve independently, best method is not to act blindly, get into a dead end, with oneself stronger, go finding that individual that can solve a problem quickly however, to him the mouth appeals.
Of cereal song Japan before when president Zuo wild Huang Yilang has shared him to be in Gu Ge company, troublesome others is experienced.
When he prepares English to report, if be taken to a few expression,forbid, the work in the same placing that meeting Xiang Yuan is in the United States is online appeal. Although the colleague of ocean the other shore is very busy, but can offer a help very in time, feel troublesome not at all.
Still an Indian colleague has a magical ability, it is particularly sensitive to the number, again complex and long table, can discover problem and data error in the instant. Zuo wild Huang Yilang now and then appeal in midnight he, always can get be assistanced enthusiasticly.
These appealing, look be like common, saved his time cost greatly however, make him dedicated at those more be good at and more valuable job, become the high-level governor of Japan of the long song that it is cereal quickly.
3
How " elegant " does the ground bother others?
Active " troublesome " others, to oneself grow very advantageous. But, we also want recognize a fact, helpful without the person your obligation.
Bother others, cannot be without abstemious with proper limits for speech or action, want to have measure and method.
Be in " troublesome " before others, had done two things first.
1, find oneself the value to others
Somebody may ask, face a few than oneself outstanding and too much person, do not know to their what can help really, how to do at that time?
Actually, everybody has his unique value, just some hide more greatly, need you to go deepness mining.
Even if you just are consulted purely to an ace, if you are carried the problem is enough good, also can bring new inspiration to the other side. Value does not need too much, it is good to should have only.
2, after wanting to understand a problem, ask again
Before we are consulting others, must pass cogitative, carry those who issue put oneself in another's position next, significant problem.
Assume your company wants to appear on the market, you go consulting a senior investor, if your problem is: What should after you feel to appear on the market, I notice? Believe he can break down certainly.
But, if you ask him so: After the company appears on the market, mean us to want to introduce outside investor partner, excuse me we are being done decision-making when, how old the think of a way that should they consider on degree? Hear this issue, the other side replies very gladly certainly.
Still a bit must be carry, good relationship is two-way, troublesome " debt " should remember be being returned in time.
In on-the-job field and life, meet the person of troublesome others, deep know well the gregarious marrow of courtesy demands reciprocity, where is the soft costal region that knows oneself, because of this casting a suit armor.
This world, not be the world of wealthy person, not be the world of person having right, however the world of a person with high aspirations and determination.
If you are an a person with high aspirations and determination, so the resource that the whole world is you.
Know cooperation and cooperate, can go out alive with single-handed attitude 1000 army of 10 thousand horses wonderful.
