"Forbid to grab, everybody plays 5 minutes by turns " , this kind of bogus shares pair of children

Regard 2 embryoes as mom, to " share " this word, I have feeling greatly of course. Two people be in harmony of its Le Rong, I share the toy of my at hand to give you, you share the toy of your at hand to give me, because we know,the other side also can like very much. This is the share good setting that we see in all sorts of schoolbook. If the child can so do, it is years of course static good.

But actually, most begin to be in share a toy this thing, be in harmony of its Le Rong is nonexistent, children produce brawl via regular meeting. Joshua plays a new toy in busy move, eric thinks method to go by to want this toy; Eric also knows how to protect a toy, let him avoid to be taken away by the elder brother. If we say, should share, should genial, children also can imagine than us in more irratable, because their feeling is unpleasant.

I also can have a lot of kink, the look that the hope can see children are shared actively still is in the heart, other of kind-hearted, fervent, care.

Be in every time so when seeing the child quarrels because of the toy, my heart can have a kind of idea, want to say with children, "Shared, must share " . Be like the take root in brain an idea, special need exercises restraint, ability persuades him come down to see this process calmly quite.

When letting mood of him be pacified, I can imagine in brain every time " be being changed is myself " , I can experience what kind of condition. Toy value is so fundamental to be being done not have for me, change the mobile phone with him necessary life always can.

If somebody comes suddenly to the side of me, want my mobile phone, perhaps took away my mobile phone to say directly " let me make a telephone call " , am I angry? Of the meeting, get angry not only, and can feel oneself by affront.

If true mouth says to help, I think I can be helped gladly, but premise is the opinion that the other side can seek me first, and can await the time that I had arranged use mobile phone, it is I think not to need to be used temporarily momently then at least, can borrow the hour of others.

Think so every time so, I also can ask in reply oneself a problem: What is the opportunity that the jubilation that belongs to the child then shares? Have when to be nodded, be children is the meeting easier and active the time that share?

I am in a few years this when get along with two children, I found this pattern place of a time, that is to become the child to feel he experiences a toy adequately or after the thing. This moment is the child the easiest and active share, and be willing play the inning of the toy by turns.

Enjoying collaboration kind game when, we offer time via regular meeting by turns game, set is for instance good timer, 5 minutes are this child, later 5 minutes are another child. I also meet this game play in the home, because game itself is active to, also can help the child foster the consciousness that share so.

But look carefully actually, because the adult drafts all game regulation, it is the game of sex of a kind of collaboration, in everybody when the humor is good, so doing is willing of course.

Actually, if had been conflict of a toy in children endlessly when, below this setting, if still put forward " forbid to grab, everybody plays 5 minutes by turns " proposal, most circumstance is invalidation, because it is a kind of compulsive proposal, and intervene forcibly mood can let the child feel uncomfortable.

compared with " forbid to grab, everybody plays 5 minutes by turns " , more appropriate proposal is, "Waited for an elder brother to give out, be turn for you / wait for a little brother to give out, be turn for you " .

Let him child decided when to give out, can play to another child by turns. Time may be 5 seconds, also may be 5 hours, to the child share behavior for, time is not the most important forever, either inside 30 seconds sharing talent is to share behavior, after exceeding 30 seconds, share again with respect to no point. To the child, he can step this one pace actively just is the most crucial.

Let him child decide time, child of this meeting help becomes more active, self-confident. Let him learn how to say to others not, and be fine dividing line of other child set. Not be you want to play a toy, I have to cooperate to give you immediately. You are my friend, I am shared gladly of course, but I can decide when I am shared.

When resembling the toy that Eric rejects an elder brother to want to take him immediately now, the clear and logical that he also can say reason, tell him Joshua why to want, and how to use this thing, and he predicts even how long time just can give out, so, "You need the elder brother wait me. "You need the elder brother wait me..

I often meet advertent children when to can make the conduct that share naturally, be like myself to ask his others rents a mobile phone to me, when can I be willing, I also can list place of a few time. Interesting is, I discover children are carrying out a process special " forgetful " . For instance Eric promised him elder brother to give out obviously the toy can borrow him, result elder brother has awaited bored to death be about to forget this thing, eric feels he plays be bored with eventually a toy, the result is immediate a toy replace case in, oneself run.

If this moment, joshua runs this toy is taken out in the case, from the think of a way that he realized to play a toy really for Joshua angle, but we arouse Eric to realize without method however, he can have been done obviously " share " this thing.

So I can think mistily in Eric every time put toy conveniently at the same time when, remind him, "The elder brother is waiting for him to share a toy " . Because this time place is relaxation hour to Eric, so he also is met very actively takes the thing to the elder brother.

Letting what I feel very marvellous is, after the be most willing to that had first time when Eric hands over the behavior of the toy, to two children it is very happy hour, and the process that can experience pair of other people are friendly, also increased Eric to feel to the joyance that share conversely.

So old come, this also is the habit that I get along with children. Certainly oneself produce children the action that share, I can help remind, but I do not have method to do sth for sb. So gradually, I also see obviously Eric says with the elder brother " I still need very much now, waited for me to give out to give you again " , but how long to take an elder brother actively too, tell him " I think, borrow you to play first became good " .

In domesticity, active, to behavior great majority results from the front affirms and encourage, seek punctual opportunity sharing this thing to go up, it is important likewise.

Since be bilateral behavior,share, be willing to give power to make decisions when us so among them a child when, we are faced with the mood of another child necessarily. Because await to 2 ～ for child of 6 years old, it is difficult likewise. The child that await is easy depressed, sadness is angry perhaps, this nods me to had been encountered on two children body.

The child can subdue the ground to look for me " I am done not have -- why don't have with respect to me " , he can cry occasionally even, crying to must want to take that toy, it is a very extremely big setback otherwise. But actually to the child, the society dominates action, appropriate expressive emotion is the main task of cheeper period. In the process that await, how does the child also control his impulse in study at the same time.

Make clear the bounds feeling that share with the child, it is the understanding that can help the child accumulate deeper administrative levels: All experience sharing that what should build opposite party of the matter right in esteem the other side, esteem fall with attrib border condition.

Most when beginning, the child does not understand why to need to await, then I did to children " wait to express " , decide good cause article, write simply classy the name that needs the child, next the name that I also can add myself at the back commonly, tell the child, "We now of this toy await exterior and interior, the little brother gave out to be turn for an elder brother, the elder brother gave out to be turn for me. The elder brother gave out to be turn for me..

When the name that searchs oneself on list when children, they can know who the next should be turn for. If the child is chasing after me to ask " I had waited very long, how had not been turn for me? " the child in awaiting also is met irratable, also can feel time passes too slow, can feel the other side just jokes more, perhaps cheated oneself? I can allow this time the child tells each other, "You can tell a little brother you wait irritated, you can say you had waited one morning, this makes you very angry. This makes you very angry..

What we should know is, admit await, do not wait to also cannot be conveyed at joining oneself not happy opinion, straight-out communication also is the fetter with human the mainest concern.

I feel all the time, encourage the child to share purely, perhaps encourage the child to learn to be not shared purely, hold a port without too big fact actually.

The key is in the life development makes the child clear, sharing should be the child hair choice from the heart, he can understand finally, oneself what thing is willing to be shared with others, what thing can discuss mutual compromise together with others, what circumstance is he is willing to share, what circumstance is him need is honest and say sturdily not.

This ability is the true definition that the bisect in my heart enjoys. Only what the heart wants share talent significant, why should I encourage the child to find the opportunity that share so, understand to let the child namely, want me to want only so, I can find to let what each other Dou Shu takes share means euqally, and rose giving a person, really the hand leaves lingering fragrance!

[END]