A Yo that has experience worker, if observe a child has aggressiveness too, always be in out is swashbuckling, need a consideration commonly, whether is this child sufferring the body to go up in the home or some kind of aggression on the mood or " violent " .
Any aggressive behavior of the child, can find a reason on parental body. If the child is in,the family grows below violent environment, witness violate a process, the possibility that he becomes aggressive character can be gotten greatly much.
It is early 50 years ago, du La of class of American contemporary psychologist has done a famous test -- experiment of wave wave doll, how do demonstrating the child successfully learn aggressive way.
Today, I think with respect to this experiment, spread out a topic.
36 boys and 36 girls attend an experiment, age 3-6 year old, average age does not arrive 4 years old half.
Substantially, bandula's experiment is the adult model that children park differs two groups in the center. One group is the model that has aggressiveness, the model of aggressiveness of another group of dispute. After watching adult action, let children enter a room that does not have model again, observe whether they can imitate the behavior of the model that sees before.
Particular experimental procedure is such:
Laboratory assistant brings an adult performer into playroom, let him sit on bench, participate in the activity of children.
In blame aggressiveness a group in, adult actor just moves back and forth in whole process toy, ignored wave wave doll completely; And in aggressiveness a group, grow up doll of wave of wave of attack of actor criterion fiercely -- lay wave wave doll in the ground, ride above, bash its nose, take hammer to tap its head, fiercely is in sky beat doll, kick it inside the room will kick go... this one aggressive behavior repeats 3 times continuously.
Besides the attack of the body to doll, adult model still has the charge of the language, be like " kick it dead " , "Song wraps soft egg " . Of course, adult model is add also have blame aggressiveness term: "This is a strong fellow " , "It still can come back " .
After 10 minutes, two groups of children are taken respectively another room, there is the absorbing toy such as model of doll, fire engine and plane model over there. Children are informed at the same time, cannot play these toys, let them produce move of a kind of setback.
Finally, the child is taken the last lab. There are a few kinds in this house " aggressive " toy, include hammer, javelin, useful still chain as string of 1 the besmear that rise becomes the ball of face figure, still have wave wave doll. There also is toy of other blame aggressiveness in the room, include crayon, paper, doll, plastic animal and lorry model to wait. Every child is allowed to play 20 minutes in this room.
Often watch the action of every child from the mirror, discovery:
When adult actor is not attendant, apt imitates the children that survey rough stuff group the rough stuff that they see; That group of children that watch nonviolent action (no matter sexual distinction) the attack behavior performance that compares other child is weaker.
In other words, the aggressive behavior of series of more nonviolent than observation action wants the aggressive behavior of the child that surveys rough stuff group to be gotten more much. This one result also test and verify Bandula's theory.
Bandula concludes from this, adult rough stuff guided the child's rough stuff. He still says, experimental result proves, when future is atttacked, the child that watchs rough stuff more the tendency make response with violent means.
The important enlightenment of experiment of ▌ class Du La: Yo first Yo oneself
Bandula's sociology reviews theory thinks, all sociological behavior of the person are to be below the influence of social environment, through setting an example to other behavior reachs his to the observation of the result learns and be able to form. The child learns through observing the behavior of example is obtained, because this example is having very main effect to the child.
In inchoate education of the child, parents is the child's most important model undoubtedly. Your every word and deed, the child can look in the eye, and ground of exert a subtle influence on is affecting him. So, yo first Yo oneself, this is Bandulashi the important inspiration that check gives us inchoate education.
▌ parents makes 6 proposals of good example
Make good example to the child, it is a big project really. But also be not without the rule but abide. A few my principle proposals are below:
? We want to always remember our " parents " part.
Parents follows the child is two independent people, do not want please so obstinate the authority at oneself; Parents has natural responsibility, obligation to child shoulder, ask those who hold him part to grow so, did not abandon oneself " breeding " responsibility. Be born and do not raise, blame parents.
? The word says well, say ahead of schedule.
You need not know any communication skill. But always do not breathe out greatly please small cry, criticize in a stern voice easily, often perhaps arrive to be opposite completely fondly again pussyfoot of disagreement compasses behavior, not utter a sound or word, this is incorrect.
If you have hope to the child, tell the child directly, such child ability know what behavior parents can be accepted more, what is no good. Did not wait for the child to violate your apiration, will give on arbitrary criticism, this often can let the child cannot find north.
Giving the child to establish rule also is, tell the child ahead of schedule, had agreed with the child. The child has issue action, also hold to your custom sturdily blandly please, the criticism of type of out of control of and rather than is beaten and scold.
? Listen to the child to say first, we say again. Do not chatter.
Encounter anything, express oneself opportunity to the child first. Ask how they think. Give out objectively your idea. Final decision asks him child to do. Force the child not always to must want to listen to his. This often trashy, you know. Distribute the issue that is clear that what is him child, have a meal for instance, sleep, writing job, play what toy, on which groom the class, in ensure safe premise falls, adult needs to leave him child to make the right of the decision.
Additional, nobody likes to listen to a nag. Children especially such.
? Notice oneself words and deeds, your child is observing you all the time.
If you hope to raise the child that gives a pleasure, you learn joy first. If yourself does not love to read, or not very reads, do not criticize the child not to read.
? Enjoy any time that are together with the child.
If one day, your child also does not bother you again, the child that shows you then needs you no longer. Those close lives do not have a few years really. More important is, that brief a few years, having very important sense to the child's lifetime. So, you love the child's word, ask a the most precious thing -- your time gives them.
? Parents also is the Everyman of real world within, not be preterhuman.
We are common parents, just perhaps be in for the most part passing line above. But what do this have to matter. Also mean at the same time faultily fresh, have the opportunity that ameliorates continuously. Just be the sort of is full of of the hope, the process that advances continuously ability is the most beautiful.
So, not exacting oneself, not frivolous compunctious, become accordingly to the child ignore cold heat up suddenly, a little while out of control a little while overcompensation. Be not compensated not only so, still meet the child take harm.
Want to know, as parents you can get angry. Can appear mistake. Also can be in gave apology of wrong heel child. Anyhow, its key depends on, after realizing a problem, we should have change.
▌ asks vigilant another " won't move " example
Finally, what I should say is, besides parental example, the children 6 years old ago still have another " won't move " example, its consequence also cannot small gaze, that is masses medium. Via experimental test and verify, the film, TV become target of child learning me-too possibly, in the experiment, had seen violent and video child contrast generally than the experiment the aggressiveness of the child of the group is strong. This also reminds parents, want to avoid to let the child see the TV that has violent plot, movie as far as possible.
In actual life, letting the child contact aggressive behavior occasionally is inevitable. For instance, see other little girl fights, let the child not carefully see the TV plot that has force wait. Ask parents to must tell the child in time: This is incorrect, aggressive to this kind behavior expresses to feel disgusted and be criticized.
-- in another experiment in Bandula, he discovers, when to the attack of grow upping actor behavior expresses admiration, the child prefers to imitate attack behavior, when if the child sees adult actor gets because of atttacking behavior,be being condemned, their imitate meet a few less.
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