Pay a focal point
1.The child in domestic education errs, besides the problem of child oneself, also have particular concern with the parent;
2.The parent should strengthen the study of oneself, each bagatelle from inside the life begins, develop good habit of the child.
Comfortable read an object: The parent
A lot of parents are in the course that teachs the child, encountered a lot of bewilderment, small get up to the child grouch, arrive greatly the child is lying, traitorous. Face such problem, the parent often is at a loss, actually a lot of moment, the child makes a mistake besides the problem besides child oneself, also have particular concern with the parent.
For instance the child just enter a school when, often forgetful, normally the first reaction of the parent sends the school to the child immediately namely. As time passes, the child forms such idea, have father mother anyway, oneself thing is not cleared away good irrespective also. Go against the nurturance of child consciousness behavior instead so.
01
Ask: Think education goes outstanding child, how should do as the parent?
Answer: The parent should strengthen oneself study above all.
The successful godchild experience of the parent of a Tsinghua undergraduate can give us a few draw lessons from. Although culture level of the mother is not high. But, she however with true godchild attitude, method, the student education that thinks a teacher intelligence is poor became the brilliant student of university of a Tsinghua, the thought quality that can say that parent is very tall. The teacher says the child is no good, she does not have blame, also did not beat and scold the child, and the drive that mom does not abandon the child is worth our follow the lead of, it is the key that makes child success more.
The teacher's word is: "Your child intelligence has a problem, hope without what at all " .
And when the son telling after mom comes home, say however: "The teacher said, you have progress, want hard to be able to continue progress only. " encourage in mom with respect to such children under, progress slowly, until one day the child became the most outstanding student in the class, walked into the school gate of Tsinghua university finally.
If how changed you to you can do? It is patient encouragement, still be boxing foot addition, or it is flat abandon.
Accordingly, the parent should strengthen study, learn the sound strategy of others godchild.
02
Ask: Does the child awake in the morning how do is psychosis bad?
Answer: Let the child begin happily each days.
One minute when the child just awakes is the child a day the crucial period of mood stand or fall, a lot of parents are mirrorred, the child awakes the first thing cries namely, the child cries I lose patience, not be to hit the child to abuse the child namely, this kind of bad mistake is more and more serious as a result.
As so do: Get up in this or the child just awakes when turning over, father or mom go to the side of the child, wake up the child gently or stroke child, just open an eye in the child when, with child of creak of handle gently small land; Talk about an interesting topic with the child, for instance: Father guessed you to daydream yesterday evening, perhaps say yesterday evening father dream arrives you etc. Anyhow, want try every means to make the child excited rise.
03
Ask: How does child trip do?
Answer: This is church child's brave the moment of truth.
When the child just is learning to walk, it is education child the crucial period of brave spirit. The practice of a lot of successful parents is, just learn to walk in the child hind, child trip let him himself climb. And do not make a fuss of to child trip, if you exclamation aloud, can frighten the child cry.
As so do: Laughing to tell the child: Your dishy, oneself climb. Although child lane does not understand your dishy is what meaning, but can understand from your expression child this is the affirmation to him, see your laugh, he is met climb bravely.
04
Ask: How does name-calling of child first time do?
Answer: Church child knows courtesy.
Our home sister 5 won't name-calling, even if is oral language, not be particularly anxious also be essential below the circumstance won't say. This are complacent the parents at us, because, as a child our brother is mixed 4 times an elder sister, no matter who be,said bad language to be able to receive the reprimand of maternal severity.
We a lot of present parents, oneself carelessly this, so how to go be in charge of oneself child? Have more very person the child name-calling that taking firm conference speech is become fun. The child won't distinguish right from wrong, his meeting thinks the parent's smile is the award of pair of his behavior wrongly, accordingly, time grew him to be cast casually with respect to a not can self-conscious bad language.
What at that time the parent should do is, after telling the child this is bad language, forbid to say again, otherwise people does not like you, do not become a friend with you.
05
Ask: Child strong enter a school, how does the parent do?
Answer: Fostering self-conscious behaviour of the child again.
To just the student of enter a school, what the parent should do above all is to tell the child how to should be done to the school, attend class how to be done, the teacher decorated exercise how to be done, the teacher tells class hour how to be done, how to do with child play.
This is about to stress a bit strategy, is not simple ground preachs, can tell the story of respect of a few assiduous study to the child, when telling, the parent wants smile that brings appreciation, letting the child had felt academic practice is a glorious thing. Next, how is telling child story medium hero done, when he attends class, very serious ground listens to teacher lecture, the teacher assigned task on time, finish seriously, cannot complete work what thing also is not done.
This kind of circumstance falls to still should notice, the parent should be accomplished " do what one says " . Once you are affirmatory: The time that the exercise that finish goes is yourself. Wanted the child to complete work in time only, must not let the child do again other additional the task, otherwise, the child can produce protracted psychology when doing work next time, the child of scamping begins from this kind of idea. If things go on like this, the child can produce such opinion: After completing work anyway, I still must be done other, finish a point as evening, can make a point less.
06
Ask: How to do when is child work much?
Answer: The parent should handle the manner that treats a teacher carefully.
Had come up against many such parent, those who see child homework feels distressed at many o'clock, make rash criticism to the teacher before the child's face. Have more very person, flat complete work for the child. So, you had wanted to be able to cause how serious effect to the child so, a figure that is the teacher in the memory in him sufferred destroy; On the other hand he can feel, study should not be a kind of hard thing, so later he can think method to be his " decrease negative " . Did exercise to become a kind of burden slowly.
As so do: Encourage him child to finish, give the child ceaselessly " encourage " , for company child completes work. Even if be to feel distressed really,the child also won't seek the ground of not feigned course of study to the child before the child's face, won't make rash criticism to the teacher more.
07
Ask: How won't the child do with person collaboration?
Answer: How does education child get along with the person.
Even if is in the unit with a the smallest society -- in the family, it is a 3 home, if devoid collaboration spirit also is,can go straight towards a thing each. A person cannot leave collaboration in whole life process, want in the home and parental children, brotherly sister cooperates; After going to school, should cooperate with classmate, teacher; When worked to want to cooperate with colleague, friend.
08
Ask: Child achievement not how does beautiful do?
Answer: Pay attention to education of ability, habit.
Successful child has a common characteristic: Study has been been used to, can finish study job automatically, overfulfil the task even.
You should pay attention to the child's good education that studies a habit only, that inserts the wing that went up to succeed for the child namely. Just think, a serious attend a lecture, finished what can the child achievement of exercise differ on time?
Child achievement is not very ideal, the parent does not want blame child, and should go up from educational train of thought, go up to educational method of the child from oneself seek an account. The attention still answers in the meantime: The child's good education that studies a habit is process of an advance gradually, absolutely cannot act too hastily.
09
Ask: How delicious meal does is the child bad?
Answer: Control child snack.
Often see the parent is chasing after the child to let the child have a meal; Often hear a lot of parents to complain, my child is really tired heart, when having a meal, often be to eat to calculated, what kind of meal is bad also and delicious.
According to me old observation and research discover, the cause that causes this kind of result does not cross 3:
Snacks causes, appetite was done not have when overmuch snacks brings about the child to have a meal; Parent misdirect, do not be willing to have a thing now and then in the child namely when, the parent carelessly, if saying misdirect child does not have a meal well. E.g. , this child does not love what to eat, after a few take second place, the child repels with respect to meeting naturally the sort of thing; The atmosphere that have a meal, if the parent often says when have a meal, some kind of thing is not delicious, what perhaps say a certain dish is done is bad, so the child also can produce allergy to the meal, think the sort of thing is bad to eat.The method that solves these is to create to have a meal goodly atmosphere, let the child feel having a meal is a happy thing. The parent is absolutely cannot the face before the child, commend the stand or fall of meal, even if is a meal bad really to eat to also had better not say.
10
Ask: How do is child performance bad?
Answer: Do not make ambiguous affirmation or exceeding deny to bad behavior of the child.
Often can hear a few parents " proud " the ground says: My child disposition is special bad, always let a person down, once your choke is worn him, he is met how, how.
Apparent, you this was to foster a small Xiang Yu the Conqueror, an unreasonable small emperor. Once such child arrived socially, the weakness can be shown, and meet as antipathetic as the society. Actually, find out a reason to know not hard, him parent causes this, is not the problem of child disposition.
The key that solves this problem is, the parent often thinks over: The child's current nature, if change oneself colleague to treat his so, you whether bear. Want your intolerable job only, will come so how does the child arrive to you can let someone else bear socially? Take bit of roundabout way less for the child, must not believe " the tree is large from straight " adage, as the changes of the times it cannot have gotten used to present social reality. Synchronism develops children to be pulled down likely also, besides " the tree is large from straight " it is the youth that wastes the child for nothing.
Be inferior to changing a kind of train of thought, letting the child know to be done in that way is incorrect. Any action that still should allow the child to make clear him to want to be him at the same time are responsible, different behavior is about to pay different price.
11
Ask: Does child first time lie how to do?
Answer: Do not want the debunk on the horse, stress strategy.
The child that lie often is the savor when lying because of first time benefit, come after that the parent was not cared about, after be being passed a few times change very hard. They lie every time is to achieve some kind of goal, have a plenty of work to be not done, have a plenty of did bad thing to fear to be punished, have a plenty of for please at the person, have a plenty of wait to get some kind of thing.
Encounter this kind of thing to be inferior to so do: Do not want child of the debunk on the horse, change a kind of strategy however, letting the child know to lie is incorrect. If, be punished severely when child first time makes a mistake, so he is met when making a mistake the 2nd times more concealment, think all method not to let you know. So, when encountering the child to lie must sober, let the child understand the mistake should assume responsibility already, also want to let the child make a mistake dare to admit one's mistake later.
12
Ask: How doesn't the child love beat one's brains to do?
Answer: The parent puts forward a problem to let him child solve conciously.
I feel to a word has been held out, inventor is dawdler, if he is not lazy, he won't want to walk too tired, I should do the thing of bit of save trouble, then the bicycle was born; The bicycle is too backward, the car appeared subsequently; The car is slow still, and suffer the tie is too much, before the airlines appears in people then, be their idea in pursuit save trouble drive below one an invention emerge as the times require, they rely on ceaseless reflection, seek the concise way that solves a problem ceaselessly, the development that makes science ceaseless, the mankind progresses ceaselessly.
Accordingly, our practice should be, if the child does not know how beat one's brains, so the parent should put forward a problem to let the child try conciously oneself are solved, such since, the child slowly the habit with respect to meeting nurturance beat one's brains.
13
Ask: How does child pride do?
Answer: Do not want too complimentary child.
Proud reason is very much, the effort that has a plenty of pair of course oneself obtains achievement to feel proud; Some is superior to oneself family environment, transcendental perhaps appearance feels proud. Former and OK should, and latter is no good.
Remember once reading a such articles, it is husband and wife of saying a pair of China go visitting friend of a pair of foreign countries. Reached friend home, chinese couple saw the friend's child, be unable to bear or endure the ground says: "This child is really beautiful, you are really blessed. You are really blessed..
And foreign friend all over the face grouchy, not polite say aloud to scholar of this pair of China: "What do not want admiring child is fine-looking, he does not try hard to come to this through his, you should apologize to the child. " this special to Chinese scholar awkwardness.
However, think carefully, see this teach brilliant point of children to foreign couple. Want to make the child clear give work only, the talent that acquires through ceaseless effort is proud or proud capital. Accordingly, want to make the child clear, the premise that I can go is my effort.
Accordingly, want to foster child self-confidence, modest character and morals to must let the child realise, pride or proud premise are: Of own purchase, and other is not the thing that gets hard through oneself what don't have at all OK and proud.
14
Ask: Doesn't the child wish how to do housework to do?
Answer: Division of labor wants to make clear in the family.
The person has laziness normally, but, as the parent we should let children know, the housework that make a point is the obligation of every family member. The child just began to may not be willing to work, that is about to do clear division of labor. For instance: Our home is such, morning wife washs a bowl; Midday, the son washs a bowl; Night is I wash a bowl. And return a regulation, if who eats slow, other bowl has been washed; So, eat a meal finally want oneself to wash. Thereby, avoided a son to have a meal namely too slow, also let him know a family also should cooperate between the member, also want to have time idea.
If which I do not think,wash a bowl, I give the child a suggestion, such intentionally saying: "Son, father, mom should go out, you must not steal a bowl to give washed.
The son can say certainly: "Won't be I just washed? "Won't be I just washed??
When I return the home, bowl chopsticks has been washed. And if you are pure,say: "The child washed the bowl. " likelihood, he can have a few loath, can say even: "Tonight, this you wash a bowl " . In the meantime, once the child washed the bowl, should be in appropriate when make to the child's behavior praise appropriately, the child can remember, father appreciates his action.
15
Ask: How does the forgetful when the child goes to school do?
Answer: Church child is in charge of for oneself.
Often can hear a lot of parents to complain, my child often forgetful, often forget belt whole thing, what works this, pencil case often forgets to take. The way that settles actually is very simple, the method that I use is, if you forgot to take, so, you should get the teacher's penalty to the school. I think, the child uses a tax or it a few classes punish the cost of the station to change a good habit is very worth while that a few classes punish the cost of the station to change a good habit. When if became the child to forget,taking a thing, call to the parent, you send a dozen telephone calls, so, the child won't have a good habit forever.
On the other hand, the child's satchel must let him himself clear away, my child since went up one grade is he clears away satchel, I never bother about passes. He keeps operation every time, the first thing has cleared away satchel namely, next the issue with other redo. If, he was not cleared away, so I also won't be cleared away for him. Arrive the following day, when should going to school, I go, make him anxious at the back, such, develop his good habit twice.
Anyhow, want to make the child clear, he must be in charge of to his behavior, wrong be about to get penalty. Be punished only according to needing actually to handle affairs to just can avoid.
