In the closest program, with bark contain partner Qian Feng of 10 years spits groove: Oneself were deleted suddenly by contain elder brother one day small letter.
Wang Han answers calmly: Fan Bingbing, Chen Kun I also cutout.
The audience is stupefied. Why?
Wang Han says, "Friend group strength is achieved more than 100 when, I feel some are terrible, want an a few no point, all is expunged. All is expunged..
Quite open-eyed.
Think formerly, as a compere, he needs socialization very much.
He says, actually " such life is very special and comfortable, all time are you, so comfortable that be in a complete mess. You can feel suddenly, whole life produced change. Whole life produced change..
More gregarious, more alone.
What perhaps have is less and less, ability is more and more important, had met more easily instead.
What is gregarious ultimate sense?
Psychology has a word to cry " serious other people " , it is to show a person is formed in character in reaching the process that blends in a society, have the person of main effect to oneself.
The understanding of a serious other people, accommodate, assume, enough changes you to rectify an individual to be born.
When the friend so circle good friend exceeds 100 people when, he says, "This is very dread affection " .
The energy that this means you to be put in everybody to go up personally has 1 ％ only.
Every add a person, the time opportunity that we and serious other people encounter and communicates is met a bit fewerer.
A lot of people spend socialization of much energy time, finally just is the impression that the person that gives them undeserved association left profundity.
So, find your serious another person, want to learn to choose to abandon above all. As Zunzun Mu Dianshi is in " simple life " in write:
Your time is limited, do not be please sundry and vivid.
Actually, what we need is not " the friend is encircled " , however friend.
Life is all problem, it is the problem of the relation
Object relation theory thinks, the relation is the germ of all problems. Life is all problem, it is the problem of the relation.
23 years old ago, my social life imbroglio.
When the school, I often see the person that far takes to know, immediately face about or bypass. Big company assumes office after graduation, concern with surface of a lot of people pretty good, hand in an intimate hard however.
Chatting with the person ever was a very thorny issue to me.
Ask for advice when me when the problem, some people muddle through one's work. When the group cooperates, only dedicated the task at oneself. Even if chat, it is a word more not congenial. Then I more and more avoid socialization.
I have a general misunderstanding in those days is: Oneself do not know socialization, blend in hard so. Near 3 years of time, my choice and alone associate with, reject to be contacted with a lot of people.
See Korea movie accidentally " Sunny " .
Because heroine graceful beauty is dialectal dense, cowardly at starting to talk to anybody, be elbowed out all the time.
The small group that blends in the school accidentally when her " Sunny " , encounter 6 people that stand to go alone especially likewise, she gains self-identity and strength from the body of each person, begin to show oneself true one side.
Before these 6 people, she can be done true oneself, release disturbed, indignant, jealousy and sadness. Final, she changes answered the girl with that courageous and resolute sunshine.
Later, I also changed the job according to my apiration, encountered very marvellous job associate, I lay the serious another person that hit the target. Below their influence, I am determined to become a psychology to seek advice from division.
Actually, a lot of people think he are gregarious ability " low " , just be the person that did not encounter to be worth to become a friend truly, and an environment that lets us set his mind at to do our, thereby " shut temporarily " oneself gregarious ability.
Abodu is in " the angst of the identity " in say,
Determination avoids other, do not mean one individual for love or money not to wish to interact with other.
This kind of choice also is protection of a kind of ego. Because of the person that does not like with oneself, do the business that does not like, be a kind tremendous invisible harm.
And our lifetime, it is to exploring link nevertheless -- with individual or another group between deep, free, the join of mutual response.
Why contemporary and gregarious belt does not feel happily?
Why to add so much person, spend socialization of a lot of time, are we alone still?
What understand gregarious essence because of us is too onefold.
Luo Zhenyu says, "Everything prospective trades will be gregarious " . Manage the period of a gregarious bonus personally, who knows socialization, who can make money. Then, all sorts of software begin to hitting eyeball of gregarious nominal rich person.
Friend circle somebody basks in cate, bask in pat oneself, bask in travel, bask in the job. . . . . "Traffic " oneself gregarious figure, get false jubilation, self-identity and existence feeling, create more " social value " .
Hand in with the company " make money " give no cause for more criticism, but it cannot be used only however " make money " .
Gregarious essence is inner join.
Haing Buddha university began to study 724 people with 75 years from 1938, what kind of person can live the most happily? Discover finally: The person that has good and gregarious concern makes us the happiest.
"Have nothing to do the amount of human association, the quality of human association affects happy health. The quality of human association affects happy health..
Act utility inside friend circle when us, false oneself, socialization reduces figure management or profitable tool, be destined to be able to attract utility only, false join, be destined and oneself serious other people is further and further, those who make inner trend endless is empty with loneliness.
If we are willing many a little bit courage, with true oneself join with serious other people, each other understand and admit, our alone feeling ability gets real significance go up alleviate, vitality ability is extended and erupt.
Eliminate is multifarious, find you " serious other people "
What kind of person is found easily " serious other people " establish link?
· of article of Europe of existentialism Great Master inferior grand uses the time of lifetime to study this issue. The conclusion that he reachs is:
Want to produce correlation completely with another person, the person must produce correlation with oneself first. You and oneself immanent and concatenate means, be the means with you and concatenate other.
The Japanese life stylist with welcome equipment quadrilateral big complementary admonish youth, creat before happy key depends on 30 years old, you whether in eliminate life multifarious, make true ego clear rise.
Any moment actions are not late, you need to desertion the furniture in the life, pay close attention to with more time immanent.
You need to make clear him Hunan is a what kind of person, want to be together with what kind of person, want to have what kind of life.
Resemble the Thoreau of lakefront. He is not relation of mankind of detest and reject, also not be complete isolation others, just hope to give oneself enough time and space, with simpler, quiet each person in approaching life with dark heart, rather go without than have something shoddy-put quality before quantity.
From this, you can stand by the person that draws you naturally, attract your job, achieve oneself life goal more easily, acquire happy move.
Be apt to uses friend group, find you " serious other people " .
This kind of join will make you sufficient be enmeshed at the life in.
Face the person that each you like, you will make a few significant changes more eagerly, create an investment, rich, real life that fills meaning and self-fulfilment.
"Appropriate runs his friend group, let it become us on real significance, the good place of friend communication. The good place of friend communication..
