Write in front
Yesterday I one friend says with me, she follows Laogong to live apart 5 years.
I am very open-eyed, marry just 6 years, live apart have 5 years, be emotional occurrence crisis?
The friend sighed, say: "Alas, after the child is born, sleep with me all the time big bed, afraid at that time husband sleeps too dead, be afraid of overwhelm the child, drive a study to to sleep him. As a result this sleeps, it is 5 years. . . . . . ..
The child and mom sleep with the bed, it is the Morpheus structure with Chinese the commonnest family probably. In concern of Chinese type family, we often see parentage overrides on spouse concern.
For instance, the child sleeps in pa Mom among, abdicate of flat perhaps father gives the child, oneself sleep another room. This adumbrative family concern is more troubled, father lacks due position in the home, and cannot develop the function of a father.
In fact, such spouse concern is the most dangerous.
That sleeps alone in darling before, how to sleep after all, can take care of the child already, unapt husband and wife " live apart " ?
The idealest, most benefit mixes at what husband and wife concerns sleep the law is: Parents sleeps big bed, him a side of mother of darling drawing near sleeps small bed.
Is the child how old begin to had slept alone?
The expert thinks, look from our habits and customs and affection angle, minutes of 5 years old or so minutes of 3 years old or so beds, rooms are more appropriate. That is to say, the child comes true to sleep alone truly, had better control in 5 years old.
Because be in 5 years old before, the attaching that the child needs to finish didymous parents from psychology -- the limbs between child need have the aid of and parents is placatory, will satisfy the need on affection.
Attaching relationship of the child has been built, there will be safe feeling relatively after be brought up, own more pretty good human concern.
Otherwise, the child is possible meeting occurrence loneliness, contradictory, evasive, moody wait for psychological characteristic.
And night is the child fitly most when depending on father mother, they are among the process that sleeps together with mom, acquire significant safe move, ego knows the same feeling, and of affinity get along mode...
So, must not let the child prematurely alone pass the night.
Does the child sleep to have what harm too late alone?
Above all, adverse to the health of child body. The child and parents sleep together, the one bedroom air in the evening is quite dirty, air is not pure and fresh and natural the healthy growth that goes against the child.
Next, go against the education of darling independent character. Sleep together with parents the child of big bed, inevitable meeting gets of meticulously take care of -- quilt of the pedal in night has mom to help a lid, the pee in night seeks mother... depend on psychological nature to also be met very strong, such very go against the child to provide for oneself independently the education of ability.
The 3rd, go against the education of consciousness of child sexual distinction. The child arrived certain age, begin to note the difference between the men and women, also can show tendency of bilateral to parents attaching and the difference that adore the tendency.
If do not divide a bed not in time, let the child possibly form Electra complex or Oedipus complex, go against the healthy growth of sexual psychology.
How can you let him child sleep alone?
Above all, decorate a favorite environment to the child, in letting the child participate in the action that decorates room and small bed, come, let what he arranges article independently put. Make the child sufficient realize: I am the host of the room, myself said to calculate, I depend on father mother no longer...
Next, can adopt " accompany first sleep, again removed accompany sleep, again alone Morpheus " the principle of a such successive.
Of course, also can look for a beloved content to be being accompanied to the child fall asleep, the doll that for instance he likes most, car. Such, inner safety feeling of the child also is met stronger.
Nevertheless, the child's first time sleeps alone, often so won't successful.
Parents of their meeting attaching, be afraid of black, be afraid of the noise, strange animal that is afraid of all sorts of a person, dreariness that are afraid that the imagination comes out... they may sleep to midnight, climb suddenly, be gotten into parents by the nest in.
So, "Sleep alone " do not accomplish in one move, need us to help the child had made adequate psychological preparation however.
If do not have sufficient psychological preparation, be arranged forcibly sleep alone, the child is very easy affection lose, then causes mood wave motion, even in the evening insomnia, do Jing of nightmare, night, absentminded, attention does not center mental insecurity, expression by day etc.
