Civil / Xiaofu daughter
A few years ago, there is a female fellow worker in my office, the person is not poor, the heart of bean curd of small knife mouth that is a model.
For instance:
The leader announces to work overtime, this girl says: Ah? Work overtime again! My Mom still says to wait for me to come home today have a meal;
The leader convenes the meeting, this girl casts aside twitch one's mouth: Hey, the job of my at hand just does an in part... ;
Leader requirement changes the plan of Party A again, the girl complains: Party A also oh, cannot say the demand to be clear about? The workload that does not know this is adjusted has how old!
But interesting is, this girl says to return every time say, complain return complain, but also go up with respect to the mouth " violent " , on the action also " give power " , should work overtime later work overtime, should attend a meeting attend a meeting, this adjustment one by one is adjusted, also calculate cautious and conscientious, working quality also is in in on.
As time passes, she is in 5 years of the company, 3 leaders were used to way of her this kind of work.
She also is same to working in the same place.
Some she enters the commonweal activity that the company organizes on behalf of the branch, because have odd stock, girl of department of the administration when coming back asks her to help moved.
Two girls are wearing high-heeled shoes, puff and blow of puff and blow moves the case to storehouse, the voice that hears this girl tall octave however rings in the company: "How your administration department arranges the job ah? Doesn't follow-up ending keep two people? But really enough careless " .
Get girl choke all over the face aglow, if original bellyful is thanked, closed again.
My leader sees no less than going to really later, say with ground of girl confide in sb:
Do not feel you are so right person, oneself very be in an unfavorable situation?
You think, actually you every time the thing is done reached the designated position, oneself also with one one's heart, busy you also were helped, but do you feel everybody can get your feeling? Can you approve your work? Can you have good effect?
Typical expended force already, do not please again.
Think again, you come to a company 5 years, obviously pretty good also, faithfulness spends professional ability tall, always miss the rising, opportunity that judge actor however, have a meal even, resting is solitary, why?
Be willing to pass sharp mouth without the person, go understanding your soft heart.
Heart of bean curd of respecting knives mouth, want to say " red Lou Meng " in most a woman that allows me to feel distressed: Lin Daiyu.
About Lin Daiyu " the mouth " , bao Chai ever said a word: Knit the brows really the mouth of a piece of benefit of girl, hate calling a person is not, liking is not.
Scan widely is put, the character of of all kinds in grand sight garden, had eaten her almost individually really of mouth of this piece of benefit deficient.
Gu Fu arrives at the beginning of black jade, of Home Zhou Rui will send an official the flower, she says namely: "I know, others is not carried remain also do not give me ah " ;
Liu grandmother enters grand sight garden, she calls a person " mother locust " , return deceive say: "Emperor is happy that day one achieve, 100 animal lead dance, nowadays just one ox ear " ;
Plum wet nurse asks black jade side to persuade Bao Yu to drink bit of wine less, black jade says however: "As one used to do the old lady also eats to his wine, in maternal aunt here eats more nowadays, makings also might as well thing. Alien is here, undeserved be here also cannot is decided " , displease N individual at a heat.
People says today, one of main show of tall affection business, it is to be able to keep away from contradiction and dispute;
But the one ask for a favor that I see black jade always however, trenchant flat removes billows, go to oneself push in the center of eddy.
Ordinarily, the black jade of Cao Xueqin's the wording and purpose of what one writes, the appearance of grasping peerless, ability that has rare life; And the close kin expensive relative that regards flourish country as government office, by ancestor merchant the mother is aching, be worn by small ancestor Bao Yuai... she should have capital happiness most and happy living;
What can let popular feeling ache is, she fails however oneself absolutely ability is peerlessly beautiful, translate into gives birth to vivid ability well.
Dignified virtuous kind and gentle Xue Baochai is crossed spicily by her, the Shi Xiangyun that is without shrewdness is crossed by her scoff at, delicate and docile cherish spring had been laughed at by her; The old biddy that the same night bets also has been disclosed by her, as to Gu Baoyu it is her more daily in discharge vents his anger frowzily " cole dishful " ;
To the closest girl violet cuckoo, disposition comes up to do not have nice voice, of bravery of drop of family analyse liver for her consider, the recall with deep emotion in her heart, but say however in the mouth: "This girl is mad, I should answer an old lady, dare not want you " .
Care her person, be pushed one by one by her; Loving her person, had been hurt deeply by her.
But heart of bean curd of small knife mouth,
Harming others is only temporarily, him harm is generation however.
Hereat, she is in the day in grand sight garden, cross more alone, colder and colder lonely, down to faces a window to sigh all day sigh, wash a face with the tear, last fragrant fetch, gong Xiaoxiang is broken...
The person of heart of small knife mouth, bean curd, heart obviously tender feelings is like water, everywhere show mercy, on the mouth however knife knife sees blood, step by step threatening.
This explanation on psychology is: Censure model live attitude.
Simple for, this kind of person is in individual live in developing a process, ever often had sufferred impressive menace or threatening, be short of to break by love, safety no longer for instance etc, they are used to in order to censure, the means of other of captious, negative, judge, will make oneself are avoided suffer harm.
Exact and character, censure model live attitude person original idea, often be not attack the other side. They just are behaved very formidably through harsh words and looks, will make ego feels safe, flurried or what make the same score a heart in order to stroke is awe-stricken.
This lets me think of my cummer ever had talked about her mother.
This mother is born in on century 50 time, from firm full since a year old, with respect to the nursery school that is sent in town together with the elder brother, it is 67 years alive all one's life unexpectedly, two weeks just return the home.
Maternal from a child of the friend is weak and sick, live in big collective, naturally often by aunt rebuke, a that when be bullied by the classmate.
Then, she is used to removing chunk head with putting firm word to frighten, will in order to give Munchausen draw attention; Casual to young associate show is happy, will mask with sniff very care about; To the disaster that enters not carefully, suffer punish with criticising others will make he is avoided first.
Gradually, the communication kind that mode of this kind of language became her with respect to solidify and live condition.
From a child lacks the mother of safe feeling, after establishing new family, the involuntary fear oneself delivered family body to go up.
And saying cummer remembers li of family is how to love each other to be killed, what make her sigh with emotion most nowadays is: "Actually my mom is good really to two my elder brother's wife, make mind in good, but be in with them unluckily bad, two height daughter-in-law does not like her particularly. Two height daughter-in-law does not like her particularly..
Cummer and I am analysed later, losing because of maternal body probably, the help that knows pair of two height daughter-in-law oneself is limited, exhaust obviously every time so can helping them, what say however on the mouth is: "You look, you this won't be done; These want to be less than; How can get along so... " it is good intention clearly, exit became small knife however, also be to conceal oneself only probably guilty.
Want to come so, black jade it may not be a bad idea, friend mother it may not be a bad idea, my colleague, on their mouth strong not Rao Ren, just also stem from a simple goal likely: Protect oneself.
Can can you protect oneself really?
Rather.
Build an one path enclosing wall with mouth of a piece of benefit, also be immersed in oneself however bigger Gu island; Saying with its is haggle over every penny does not let off others, be inferior to saying is not to wish to let off his.
When you with the attitude that crouch, all over spinal point to all around, feel the love of this world and warm desire very hard also truly.
In other words:
Heart of bean curd of small knife mouth, actually injury person is hurt again oneself;
Talk to the person well, just be the biggest to oneself tenderness.
