" moral classics " the first chapter has a word, say: "Without, of renown heaven and earth only then; Have, the mother of renown everythings on earth. " father tells us to not have is a name, it is a title, of its representing is the beginning of heaven and earth. Having also is a kind of title, of its representing is the mother of everythings on earth.
Without with have, one is source, one is to begin. Have, a small among the share that just sees so that see, very brief, finally all things are to be attributed to not have. Of course this share that not have can go at any time have, but have still change finally without. This one thought, conduct oneself in society to the Chinese's thinking and humanness far-reaching.
The Chinese likes to tell very much " not " , because it is longer. Without should change have it is easy to be compared actually, have should change it is more difficult instead to not have, once after figuration, want its finish, it is not easy. Told, should become it is very easy to have; Told have, should become it is very difficult to do not have. Such you just know, why does the Chinese say first, won't say to have first.
The boss attends a meeting ask you to express an opinion, you stand up immediately say, he is very grouchy, think in the heart, why cannot you follow this kind of issue secretly I am told, blame tell when attend a meeting cannot? You tell me to think you are well-intentioned secretly, you tell me publicly to suspect you, what is your motive. The colleague also can think, the boss is in when you speak, when be absent, you follow a the dead same.
In daily life and job, such case common occurance, so incorrect, in that way incorrect also, how is knowing far from good. So, below this kind of case, specific how should be done? This moment, not have and some wisdom were used with respect to special canal. Remember below at 3 o'clock, the society says the 3rd kind of word, believe to be able to dissolve the problem of your such.
1
The station wants in the position that does not want
The station wants in the position that does not want, ability won't want in disorder, ability won't want to be imprisoned. Once you wanted to be able to be imprisoned, once wanted,swing also swing do not drop. But if you say not to want first, want to should want at once next, do not want in vain, finally is " good, since you are so cordial,I was about " . The foreigner is very simple, you send a foreigner the thing, he can ravel face to face, the Chinese can become aware ravel face to face meeting lets the other side become aware he disrelishs a thing is too little, all very no-go ravel before face of the other side.
"There are 300 moneys only in this red bag just, dare you also send? " we are very few of this appearance. We say " not, not " it is to think I should want at once, what is wanted sequela, such we wanting. The Chinese is thinking at any time and place, this is good convention. But should time ability thinks, so we say first, next just time thinks. Think of finally if want, run out to tell with him: "You is a moment ago that thing to want those who send me? I a moment ago said not to want, think now or want, return there's still time? " everybody thinks well, without with having is magical function is boundless.
2
The station has in the footing that do not have
The station has in the footing that do not have, ability is unapt get into trouble, do not bother at least. I often cite this case. "Is Laowang caught do you know? " how do you reply? You say to know, couldn't get with respect to what. Because think in his heart, since you know, wordy what do I return, he was not told. You say not to know, then he also won't be told. Why? Because you do not know, if I tell you, I tell that says after you, how should I do? Still do not tell so.
You say to know, do not hear a thing; Say not to know, also do not hear a thing. How should that say? The thing inside this is very wonderful. "Is Laowang caught do you know? " " did not hear of. " is hearing of to still do not know? This is very interesting, this is the 3rd kind of word. Did not hear of, then I tell you, the day before yesterday how, yesterday how, this morning how. He just tells you " either such, I am clearer than you, you still want to cheat me " , he can say: "I ask you, you say you do not know I just am told. " you say: "Right, you did not say, how is I know you know or I know? You are told now, I just know so I still know than you. " resemble so complex logic, how is the foreigner understood? Their brains is very simple.
3
The station knows in insensible footing
The station knows in insensible footing, ability is unapt ignorant, make person joke. Because everything is changing now, so you say you know, perhaps know the day before yesterday thing, perhaps know the thing yesterday, the family laughs at you very dilettante. So the Chinese says I do not know first, listen next.
Confucius also is such, "Child enter the Imperial Ancestral Temple, every thing asks " . Confucius is the expert of the ceremony, he arrives the Imperial Ancestral Temple, he is the expert just is opposite, but his each should ask, because some ceremonies had been changed, you pay no attention to, still continue to use old thing, the someone looks to be able to feel this individual too was out of line, old, did not use. You asked ability knows, still be so such, was at ease. So, not likely is not to know ability to ask, change to prove it is done not have, you also can ask.
"Will that meet you want to attend tomorrow? " this is everybody most the problem that often encounters. You can not say to want, also cannot not want in order to say. If say you are a very serious person, the family asks you the meeting tomorrow to otherwise wants to attend, you say to want, that does not hope with respect to somebody you go, produce false traffic accident during transit, you dry, are then you very regrettablly? Who calls you to demonstrate an attitude? How does wise person reply? "What will meet me do not know tomorrow. "What will meet me do not know tomorrow..
The Chinese is not hypocritical, not be crafty, just transmitting an information: You want to know I do not want, do not ask me in open circumstance, in this kind of circumstance my inconvenience says, I ask below your illicit, I can be told very clearly. Was opposite so.
For instance you are in country tax bureau goes to work, receive tip-off, say a certain company has major evade taxation case, send you to check. You arrived to look, as expected evidence is very clear, and the clue is very great. I ask you, how can you do? You tell truth to have a try, yourself was valued, this is clear, so big punish everybody is overcome. Can you be you dare be told? You want to tell, just went out he sends ministry handlebar your dry, destroy evidence, be adjusted next again as soon as possible.
So, one meets working person, see a scenario so great, this is returned, he can say certainly: "What don't have, how spoffish, this is very common, every company can be done. " the other side was at ease. Go back to just say situation is serious next, appear in the newspaper rapidly. You do not protect yourself, do not have even the life. If you regard this as pliable, regard as crafty, that is wrong. You do not protect yourself, finish the job without method at all.
I say again, we do not care about you to say true word or lie, we persuade you all one's life to want to say appropriate word only, this also is us so called the 3rd kind of word. Was opposite so. Same a word, tell appropriate a bit, tell beautiful a bit, it is to take the interests of the whole into account actually, is not to cheat will be cheated.
The Chinese likes dissimulate most, see pretend to did not see, know a dissemble, besides him protection, also to do not make the other side too sad, take care of the face of one servent home a little. But dissimulate is not really muddleheaded, although the process is ambiguous, final dispute is very clear still. We are god-given and muddleheaded, busy in snatch a moment of leisure, make merry in suffering. This calls with respect to what call one shade one this world.
