Director of institute of children of teenager of teenage research center of Sun Hongyan China, researcher
Piece institute of children of teenager of Xudong China teenage research center, deputy read and edit
Editor's note: Not long ago, academy of education of academy of education of family of Chinese teenage research center, new channel, new family combines the research organization of the United States, Japan, Korea, the comparison that began network times parentage studies. On October 27, the 2018 families that in China education learns to sponsor teach academic annual meeting (Suzhou) on, task group was released formally " Sino-US day Han " the comparative research of network times parentage reports " " . It is the partial content of the report below.
Parentage gives birth to socialization to having main effect to middle and primary school, the communication of the parents of quality hang on of parentage and child, interactive and mutual self-identity. " the comparative research of parentage of times of network of Sino-US day Han reports " (the following abbreviation " report " ) show, chinese middle and primary school is born to communicate frequency lowest with parents, communicating principal topic is study. The Chinese parents that listens to child bend to narrate trouble is least. Middle and primary school of China of close half the number gives birth to parents to have the state that plays a mobile phone to speak with the child at the same time at the same time. 57.5% China middle and primary school is unripe ever getting online when examining a data, be to play game by parental misunderstanding.
The many teenage research organizations that this research teachs academy, new family to teach company of BuzzHunter of academy, United States, Japan to establish teenage education to revitalize academy of policy of orgnaization and Korea adolescent to wait for 4 countries by family of Chinese teenage research center, new channel undertake jointly. Research basically uses questionnaire to investigate a method, carry out investigation with same questionnaire synchronism to 4 countries, investigation object is elementary school 5 grade, 6 grade and first one, 2 year level is in first school student, have 4170 China middle and primary school respectively middle and primary school of 2272 unripe, Japan lays middle and primary school of 2017 unripe, United States and 1936 Korea middle and primary school is born completed investigation questionnaire. Among them, china saves Nanjing city, Sichuan to save the Chengdu City, Hunan Province in Beijing, Jiangsu 6 cities such as city of chicken of treasure of province of in relief city of distant of province of Chang De city, Liaoning, Shaanxi undertook questionnaire is investigated.
Chinese middle and primary school is born to communicate frequency lowest with parents, principal topic is study
Close child communication has daily sex, communication frequency is having important sense to parentage. As the development of cognitive ability, the means that the child that enters adolescence communicates morely with utterance and parents are interactive. This second investigation discovers, when the life of Chinese middle and primary school of 92.2% often or chat with parents sometimes, in lowest of the scale in 4 countries, other the Three Kingdoms compares Chinese tall 4-6 respectively percent. Specific for, the Chinese student that often chats with parents at ordinary times has 57.7% only, less than 6 into, other the Three Kingdoms compares Chinese tall 21-24 respectively percent. Mix when the life of Chinese middle and primary school of 7.8% parents not quite chat or do not chat, taller than other the Three Kingdoms 3-6 percent.
Communication content reflects parents to be nodded to filial attention. Investigation shows, before the platoon is being inscribed if Chinese student and parents basically communicate at ordinary times 5 is study respect (71.8% ) , the thing of the school (69.6% ) , oneself interest is liked (35.4% ) , the friend's thing (31.7% ) with oneself in the future (31.6% , american middle and primary school is unripe ordinal the thing that is the school (58.4% ) , oneself interest is liked (42.5% ) , the friend's thing (40.1% ) , study an aspect (38.1% ) will come with oneself (27.7% ) , japanese middle and primary school is unripe ordinal the thing that is the school (76.7% ) , the friend's thing (52.3% ) , study an aspect (42.3% ) , oneself interest is liked (34.7% ) and socially thing (27.1% ) , korea middle and primary school is unripe ordinal the thing that is the school (83.6% ) , those who study an aspect (53.4% ) , the friend's thing (48.1% ) , oneself interest is liked (44.0% ) and socially thing (26.4% ) . Only the principal topic that Chinese middle and primary school gives birth to to communicate with parents is study, and other the thing that 3 countries are the school. Compare China and United States, the parents of Japan and Korea communicates morely with children socially thing.
What the topic platoon that Chinese middle and primary school gives birth to to basically communicate at ordinary times with parents goes to the 9th the 6th times is socially thing (14.9% ) , of beautiful money side (7.4% ) , other (3.6% ) dress up with oneself appearance (2.8% ) , under photograph comparing, chinese parents pays close attention to the child's cost more, the appearance that pays close attention to the child least of all dresses up.
Whether to like to kiss from report of a flank with parental communication child psychology is spent intimately. Investigation shows, the Chinese middle and primary school of 82.7% is born to like very much or prefer chat with parents, among them 41.1% like very much, 41.6% prefer. Compare Korea only (82.1% ) 0.6 tall percent, under Japan (88.4% ) with the United States (87.3% ) .
About liking the reason that communicates with parents, shikoku middle and primary school gives birth to a platoon to be in of the first place each are not identical, china is parents does not understand me (43.5% ) , the United States is parents does not let me offer different opinion (41.5% ) , japan is to do not have those who want to say (33.2% ) , korea is the thing that parents often says to learn (37.4% ) . Be had two by before 4 countries middle and primary school gives birth to collective platoon to enter 5 reason: Parents always says he is right often criticize me with parents. The reason that still more than two is born not to like to chat with parents into Chinese middle and primary school is parents does not believe me, choice rate is 22.9% , highest in Shikoku.
Be in China, although families of more and more young father and mother teach an idea to be improved apparently, realize praise be helpful for helping the child establish self-confident heart, but be affected by the element such as competition of traditional culture, society, the kind that still habit of one part parent denies in order to criticize comes incentive child. Investigation shows, the Chinese middle and primary school of 84.8% is unripe express " parents praises me sometimes " , with Japan (85.0% ) with Korea (84.5% ) about the same, than the United States (79.0% ) 5.8 tall percent; The Chinese middle and primary school of 88.1% is unripe express " parents criticizes me sometimes " , compare Japan only (90.1% ) low 2 percent, than Korea (77.7% ) with the United States (66.1% ) part tall 10.4 with 22 percent.
1994, china receives internet formally, "80 hind " just when adolescence, nowadays, the generation that they grow to leave a mobile phone to be not put is young parents, often ignored a mobile phone to use the negative effect to parentage. Investigation shows, the Chinese middle and primary school of 57.8% is unripe express to be in close child when communication, parents often lets very dedicatedly, in lowest of the scale in Shikoku, lower than other the Three Kingdoms 0.5-24 percent. The Chinese parents of 8% often plays a mobile phone to speak with the child at the same time at the same time, the Chinese parents of 40.4% plays a mobile phone to speak with the child at the same time at the same time sometimes, aggregate middle and primary school of China of close half the number gives birth to parents to have the state that plays a mobile phone to speak with the child at the same time at the same time.
Study is Chinese family kisses child the respect that conflict centers most
The independent consciousness of adolescent child increases, begin to strive for the administrative power force of individual problem, the daily routine such as study, life is become close child contradictory main source. Investigation shows, the Chinese middle and primary school of 92.9% is born to feel very happy or happier together with parents, lower than the United States 1.9 percent, part than Japan and Korea tall 1.6 with 3.6 percent. Nevertheless, what Chinese middle and primary school is born to had produced conflict with parents is most (82.1% ) , conflict basically happens in study (55.8% ) , habits and customs (43.8% ) , household thing (25.6) , get online (25.2% ) with the idea to the thing or view (21.1% ) wait for a respect. The Chinese student that in study the respect conflicts with parental happening is more than other the Three Kingdoms 11, 20 percent. In addition, viewpoint difference also is Chinese family kisses child the respect with more conflict, dress dresses up, paying respect of friendly, privacy is family of the United States, Japan, Korea respectively close child the respect with more conflict.
Be in our country, get online to be become increasingly cause close child one of main reasons of conflict. Some parents cannot look objectively need a network, subconscious in think to want to the child gets online even if playing game only. Investigation shows, the Chinese middle and primary school of 57.5% is unripe ever getting online when examining a data, be to play game by parental misunderstanding, taller than other the Three Kingdoms 8-23 percent. This specification parents is decided to network existence thinking situation, thinking the network is a toy is not a tool, also behave a few parents to lack enough credit to the child, cause contradictory conflict consequently.
Actually, get online to also can make the interactive way of stimulative parentage. Nevertheless, investigate discovery, china is become only (10.5% ) middle and primary school is born to often get online together with parents examine a data, play game, see video wait, lower than other the Three Kingdoms 0.2-11 percent.
Improvement is close child communication state, parents should make more hard
Investigation returns discovery, the Chinese middle and primary school of 71.5% is unripe express " parents lets me recount trouble " , lower than other the Three Kingdoms 15-19 percent. The Chinese middle and primary school of 80.6% is unripe think " parents understands me " , lower than other the Three Kingdoms 6-12 percent. Often do a housework, motion and the Chinese middle and primary school that read together to be born together with parents most, often go out to shop together with parents, amuse oneself, look TV gets online with (examine a data, play game, see video wait) Chinese middle and primary school is unripe least. The Chinese middle and primary school of 72.1% is born to often spend birthday together with parents, in lowest of the scale in Shikoku. The family of unripe hope of Chinese middle and primary school of 91.3% has a meal together as far as possible, chat, go out.
Is middle and primary school unripe what kind of parentage to expect? Investigation shows, the Chinese child of 83.8% hopes and parental relation resembles a friend same. But meanwhile, only the children of unripe hope of Chinese middle and primary school of 40.4% and parents can do favorite thing severally, each other is hands-off, lower than other the Three Kingdoms 21-32 percent. Chinese middle and primary school is born to hope to concern with parents already equal but do not hope each other are independent again, mirrorred Chinese child's stronger dependence.
From the point of findings, what Chinese middle and primary school gives birth to a family is close child communication situation is not quite ideal. Appear in daily life close child communicate not free, main reason still depends on parental oversight or perfunctory child, censure criticism regard the communication, requirement that does not understand the child as to wait. Accordingly, improvement is close child communication state, parents should make more hard. Above all, parents should have the attitude of equal sincerity, do not force oneself viewpoint to the child. Next, parents should increase the capacity of communication, learn to listen attentively to especially, when the child has the sentiment such as be worried, first the mood of placatory child undertakes communication again, let the child feel parental understanding, avoid to the mouth preachs or censure.
The child that enters adolescence increases to the requirement of own advantageous position, parents face growing change of the child to want to undertake actively adjustment, the support on the understanding on the self-identity that gives more mood to go up, spirit and affection, guide, will see those who treat the child grow with long-term vision, build close parentage, build atmosphere of good family culture, the lifelong development that is the child lays next solid foundations.
In addition, parents also should offer the opportunity that experiences independence for the child, let go the study that lets child him arrangement lives, supervise somewhat but not direct control, still give the child the right that make a mistake, value the child's option, encourage the child to choose to be in charge of as a result for his.
