Yesterday, a fellow-townsman inside the village looks after children come to my home play, her home child is smaller than a shoe-shaped gold or silver ingot used as money in feudal China 4 months, but build is a bit taller than a shoe-shaped gold or silver ingot used as money in feudal China, dot is 3 minutes of heat, treat young associate same also. The child came in the home, they cheer caper, play at the same place extremely. The toy that may be my home is more, the child of fellow-townsman home saw what not very of a shoe-shaped gold or silver ingot used as money in feudal China plays catch what butterfly uses to catch a net, take in the hand not let go, although a shoe-shaped gold or silver ingot used as money in feudal China at ordinary times not very is waited for see this thing, but child of at sight of is taken in the hand, he did not agree, but force is inferior to a person again, grabbed a long time also did not grab come over, his area area cries antrum ground appeals toward me, : "Pa comparing, tell a little brother this is bought which, do not grab me! " , my face brings a smile, reply calmingly: "Enlighten Ka Nong ah " , bub sees I did not want to come over to help the meaning that grab, do not let go from beginning to end, crying to say to the little brother " enlighten Ka Nong buys, yourself goes buying " , of the child do not let go, allow have no other way of little little brother, final little little brother is in of his mom persuade next loosening hand.
When the child plays together, it is very normal to produce bit of small contradiction small clash each other, the parent need not regard this as the problem need not appear personally immediately interference, need not get angry accordingly more.
Below not severe case, pretend to did not see, leave children contradiction oneself are solved; More serious when, pull open simply can, need not dispute child was to be in an unfavorable situation to still gain extra advantage unfairly. The reason can be told simply, it is OK also to be not told, the key is the attitude that keeps friendly and relaxed.
So if protect,let the child between friendly get along? Proposal parent holds to the following principles
Against a rainy day, reduce disputeDo not know the parent is had advertent, is the child that plays together before dinner particularly easy be difficult with sb? To the child, in a day of 3 eat, what the time of lunch and dinner be apart has 6 hours is long, this is quite endless to the child. When we make dinner, they look so that see, hear get, do not eat however. They will be irritating, begin mutual picky. Because this suggests the parent can think they prepare a few healthful but the mug-up with the not high component that contain sugar, perhaps use up precocity meal, can reduce the probability of dispute happening so.
Adult had better not ump"Both of you who starts work first, how to return a responsibility after all " " who plays this toy first at the beginning? " similar these questions must not ask. Because you cannot get the answer not only, return the dispute that meets children of be involved in likely. Be in our home, there often also is stick to one's position between big treasure and a shoe-shaped gold or silver ingot used as money in feudal China, although be apart is 9 years old, but the child is the child after all, a shoe-shaped gold or silver ingot used as money in feudal China often is to fondle admiringly to beautiful stationery of the elder sister, but the elder sister is afraid that the little brother opens hers bang up, but she does not wish to grab again,come back, because the little brother can cry, often appeal to me " father, you visit a little brother, sign mine paper is taken away again " , I tell big treasure commonly, oneself think method is solved. Without giving thought to,the elder sister sees us, had grabbed her in little brother hand beloved article curtly, voice of ground cry out comes little brother of a shoe-shaped gold or silver ingot used as money in feudal China, chasing after an elder sister to want a thing, the elder sister does not give, chased after a little while so, the elder sister thought a tweak, looked for another substitute to give a little brother, the little brother defeats tears and laugh, contradiction was dissolved so.
What my summary comes out is: Do not intervene, usually, want adult to leave only, children are OK oneself are solved. If the parent cannot help really, still was in charge of, children can make a noise fiercer more, become judge for the sake of letting you. The parent the more outside place oneself thing, the child has an opportunity to develop originality more, solve oneself problem.
After some parents are taken away in the thing of own child, the child that always persuades oneself " let an elder brother play, can return you a little while " " we are bit easier, the child should learn to share " , this kind of parent always thinks to be in an unfavorable situation is blessing, the hope develops the child's altruistic quality and style from this, actually this kind of practice is incorrect. Because selfishness is the person's nature, be just like Lu Suoshui in that way: Our primitive affection is a center with ego; We all all natural activities are to maintain of oneself above all live and the happiness of oneself. The increase that forces child him sell one's own things, this kind of practice can not develop magnanimous drive of the child, make him more nervous mix instead cautious to anything.
When children produce conflict, try to use to encouragement speech. "I know you two have tweak to solve this problem surely " . Because of the character stalk of adult, include tone, pose, the confidence that can solve a problem to the child has very big effect. If the child is heard, is " how do you quarrel every day, cannot get along well " the word of and so on, as time passes, they can feel they do not have ability and young associate to had gotten along at all, the concern between them will be more and more distant.
Last word: The dispute between the child, traceable of no more than grabs the petty thing such as the toy. The adult treats the manner of these small contradiction, than telling the child how to be done more important. The child that won't get along inherently with the person is not much, want us only little interference, children can ego adjustment is good.
