Civil | Jiang Xu
1.
Since grandmother die, in the eye of one's relatives neighbour I became a ruthless person probably.
The mother gives birth to me to die, it is grandmother endure all kinds of hardships brings up me single-handed. So, on this world, grandmother is most the person that is very fond of me.
According to this locality custom, grandmother holds a funeral procession moment, all relatives and friends must discharge fine line to circling the person that die to walk along circuit, when going to the side of foot of the person that die, still must cry cry a few times. A neighbour, also be me once nursery school teacher, she reminds me repeatedly, when arriving, must cry, otherwise bad!
I do not know she says " bad " it is what to point to, also do not want to know, feel this kind of sadness that flows at the form is very absurd only. A person is in when feeling sad, need not remind also can cry. Earn a tear forcibly, cannot laugh?
When holding that ceremony, the 7 husband's mother that visit in front of me 8 aunt resemble containing switch is same, say to cried to cry suddenly aloud, like dry wail. I did not install buy valve on lachrymal gland, drain of feeling of plead for mercy for sb can drain, say to be able to weep, went by silently so.
After this, the expression that I feel to nursery school teacher sees me and before different. She perhaps had not been read " outsider " , but feel I and among them hero are same certainly -- inner inhospitality is merciless, and lay antipathetic.
Actually, the anguish before grandmother is faced lets me feel, leaving instead is a kind of disengagement, living person is this why again sad. This kind sad turn already to me for chronic period, overtax his nerves cloudily when other people is invisible.
Gong Qijun says: Farthermost journey, it is the heart from a person the heart to another person. Favor experienced and worldly-wise person won't know naturally, antipathetic person, just cannot accomplish let oneself drift with the tide.
2.
Junior read do not understand " outsider " , understand become bureau wife already.
Review France " existentialism " literary Great Master adds Miao become famous make -- " outsider " , do not become aware produce a kind of such impressions.
Er of collective write from memory of reason victim person alls alone, from the mechanization of day after day commonplace and the life, trifling daily and favorite knowledge arrives the fantastic of life, then undertakes defying to this.
The pattern that he defies is slam the door all society game is regular, reject to lie, leave no room for manoeuvre is right true oneself. From this, we imagine not hard, he will with the society will what kind of antipathetic --
The mother dies, moersuo not only the sadness that did not show a trace, and still can sit in the person that die beside silent drink on one cup of coffee. Funeral just ended, he made an appointment with cummer to swim, see comedic movie, all sorts of be on the tiles.
Cummer asks feeling, if she wants to marry,he expresses at any time OK. When the other side asks about love not to love her, he does not wish to say honey-tongued, instead thinks the sort of word is without a meaning.
The boss offers an opportunity, send him one has development the space, job project that still can lend this change lifestyle at the same time, he however with " we all along unalterable life, anyhow, the life is same " reason abandons.
This estrange actively with fantastic life " outsider " , become the Hun of game regulation. This courage lets him become a hero.
Go creating real life without enthusiasm, however dissociate of drift along ground is in windy in. This kind inactive let him become sop.
Also have in the regret lucky -- Moersuo is about to draw full stop in life when, vitality come to one's senses, experience starlight, night, clay... the breath of all things in nature.
That momently, he " opened wide bosom to the inhospitality of this world tenderness for the first time. " also realize eventually, face whole world, oneself are not outsider!
The inspiration that Moersuo gives us depends on adding Miao a such words: "The fantastic feeling in affirming life cannot be a terminus, and just is one begins. And just is one begins..
"Moersuo fails successfully again already, each readers can come with him the life with respective postmortem, new him demarcate life. " this is to read " outsider " meaning place. After attack by surprise coils, might as well examine one's conscience:
Do I have the life that rejects to had not thought?
Do I have the life that has tried hard to had thought?
3.
Xu Jinglei is the different number that recreation encircles, she was work to give ego.
Act in a play, become inland to perform art circle " 4 big female roles " one of; Keep rich customer, enlightened 100 come day, click a quantity to be broken through 10 million, become " the first rich of Chinese advocate " ; The director takes sport, " Dulala rises duty to write down " let her become the mainland first booking office crosses the female director of 100 million; Practice calligraphy as a child, cool and elegant style is left to give out Founder static bud simplified; Still had taught a book, had written a book, had run a magazine.
Brilliant, like prize giving like doing, she is known as " contemporary Lin Hui because " .
Xu Jinglei is done any, it is for ceaseless him breakthrough, experience life all sorts of likelihoods. So, think to had done a thing when her, try with respect to meeting face about other, resemble her small gain autograph: At any time hobo.
About all one's life important matter, the Chinese abides by how many years " male become greatly when marriage daughter greatly marry " . Xu Jinglei's marriage is as antipathetic as thought of this kind of mainstream.
Somebody thinks Xu Jinglei is by accident not marriage creed person, in fact she is the person that marriage is indifferent to creed. Because, she already self-improvement arrives not to need to be inspected by common people independently the marriage that life ensures. She says, if marry in the future, reason is done not have other, it is to give the number of households and total population on the child only.
"I have safe feeling very much from affection, I from who to need to ensure me more economically. " a word, what enough sees her is powerful with connect fully.
"When I feel the person is very much, awaiting is be given to manacle by the idea that oneself idea still has others, but want to break through these, the likelihood can be considered as to blame an embryo now, but I am indifferent to, I am not to care about someone else how to say me. " realized life freedom only, liberate oneself person from the heart, gas of ability know how things stand and feel confident of handling them speaks this word.
Brain is kidnapped by game regulation, dare not solve again bind, that can drift with the tide only.
Have the spirit of yearning freedom, do not wish again mediocre and unambitious lifetime, that becomes independent characteristic.
4.
At all times and in all over the world, give true ego to break away from low person again alive, as antipathetic as the society.
Tao Yuan bright " do not have comfortable common charm less, the gender loves Qiu Shan originally " , , cannot suffer a person to official post and demit official comes home, the choice puts in the way of life that vegetable garden lives 's charge. He and official career are antipathetic.
With bamboo Lin Qixian is Mingshi of advance of the Kingdom of Wei, broad-minded of forthright and sincere, deep and remote bamboo grove plays musical instrument, carouse grows howl. They and earthly antipathetic.
Buddhist is tall as special as the family member's relation refuse to budge, every job is done bad, the insanity that alone feeling of fate and art bring makes him touched, cut next him ear. He and reality are antipathetic.
Lu Xun " frown is cold point to to numerousing people, pleasant of bow one's head is child ox " , growing the face of a piece of not buy it, in one's heart is tasteful however. He and darkness are antipathetic.
Say in king is small letter that writing Li Yinhe, car, buy a TV set, go to chest, learn to dance, take a walk below moon, wash diaper to the child, a kind of such lives and he is antipathetic. He and lay antipathetic.
...
Antipathetic person, in the life unlikely be able to achieve success one way or another, in duty field also cannot smooth and slick, however because of true, straight-out, loneliness gorgeous, still have the igneous fire wind of cold and cheerless, become different fireworks alive.
Writer Xue Xiaochan says: "It is good word incompatibly with, also be good position, have very powerful alone with individual character. Be weed idle beautiful Feng Chunsheng is vague. Think so, the heart is precocious an ice heart is in jade crock. So antipathetic -- mix forever everybody is different, embark on a journey alone. Embark on a journey alone..
Antipathetic person, because be clear that oneself had not missed what kind of life,often be.
If courage forgoes profit of undeserved reputation common, comply with inner call, pursue oneself life direction, that becomes a Tao Yuan with respect to work bright, easygoing, allow true and broad-minded.
If courage denies a kind of lifestyle, hold to oneself life manner, that is become " outsider " medium Moersuo, live in instantly, sober and ego.
What we should do is, the deep that compare contented bright what enter a life at many o'clock is active, what created than Moersuoduo is enthusiastic.
Wish you have antipathetic bottom energy of life, have the courage since wind unboiled water more.
