"Former unripe family owes you, you must rely on yourself to search. Searching not to come back is a disaster, search ' Dou Ting is good ' . Search ' Dou Ting is good ' ..
The heavy male light female son that bestow favor on be addicted to is the mother of acerbity daughter, hypocritical the eldest son with I shabby-genteel filial piety, 2 sons that gnaw old incapacity to have violent tendency, to the mother visit the 3 daughters that are like chill actually to draw out money to help to death, cowardly and gentle egoistic however father... heat sows teleplay " Dou Ting is good " dripping wet of blood of the scar in sharp jab, filial piety the pain spot of concern of Chinese type family of one ground chicken feather.
The audience is enraged to get fly into a rage by the figure of strange flower figure that there is disposition drawback each in drama, for a short while, "Former unripe family is deterministic " , " parents all damage " the hot search that became each big gregarious platform to go up.
Give birth to a family formerly, does the influence have how old?
What is former unripe family? Namely individual the family that after be born, constitutes with parents and brotherly sister, find a spouse to constitute new family till manhood hind. So, former unripe family to individual grew to have conclusive effect really? The fact is not such.
Progress of Fudan University society and sociology of public policy institute are culture of society of associate professor, Fudan University Fei of Shen Yi of director of research center of development of family of vice director of anthropologic research center, Fudan University is accepting insurgent news (Www.thepaper.cn) when interviewing, say, individual growing is family and society the result of joint action, "In the person's lifetime, have a lot of variable, final conclusion won't fall to say certain variable and result have in academic research inevitable causal. Final conclusion won't fall to say certain variable and result have in academic research inevitable causal..
Condition of estate of the educational setting of the parents in former unripe family, society, economy and the breeding means to children, with children in the future grow between have dependency, but either conclusive causal.
Maler than be being weighed like light female family, parents may not provide resource support to the daughter, but the opportunity that does not hamper she wins fair competition in the school, and larger ascendant space is gotten after moving toward a society through gregarious person arteries and veins. "Individual it is to be able to jump out to give birth to a family formerly, the subjective activity that carries oneself realizes ego life value. " Shen Yi Fei expresses.
In fact, parents' biggest to children impact, it is genetic gene actually, the 40%-50% of individual nature is decided by gene.
Suda twin studies famous bright Buddhist nun the conclusion that the report reachs two make clear: Genetic element is occupied in the influence in behavior variability very major, and what can not affect similar drive feature is bring up to form in same environment.
" oneself disposition blemish and failure, simple gruffly ascribes to the problem of former unripe family is one kind slants from benefit by accident. " Sun Jiayi of advisory division of 2 class psychology tells dean of referral center of psychology of Shanghai bosom friend, country insurgent journalist, "A lot of people are met successful him ascribe try hard and will fail ascribe external cause, this cries on psychology ' slant from benefit by accident ' , this is to be this irresponsible and the excuse that search, it is the expression of selfishness of extreme of the person that ego is a center, even some of person is immersed in victim thinking. Even some of person is immersed in victim thinking..
Sun Jiayi thinks, so called " former unripe family is deterministic " or " parents all damage " the concept can become hot search to explode paragraph, because its are convenient,be the people understands, and very strong generation is entered touch is light cause resonance.
oneself the blemish on disposition and mistake let " former unripe family " will carry boiler on the back, this has harm sex very much. For instance, the meeting in work of many movie and TV is in date from in coda character of a certain villain in drama even the childhood scar of convict comes with this " wash white " .
"Lifetime is in lucky person to be cured by childhood, unfortunate person lifetime is in cure childhood, but not be every person that has childhood shadow can enter wrong road. The negative effect of former unripe family cannot serve as the evadable that errs to commit a crime even. " Sun Jiayi expresses.
Avoid traumatic generation time to deliver
Dongye Guiwu is in " when unripe " write so in one book: "Pessimism is trashy also. Everybody wants to be born in good person home, but cannot choose parents. Issue you what kind of card, you can have hit it as far as possible only. " so, when former unripe family brings a worry to be harmed even to oneself, how should be faced?
Sun Jiayi suggests: "The place that should realise oneself as early as possible and independent, the independence here includes economic independence and character independence. Establish new family after he grows up, should be not kidnapped force oneself to make overmuch sacrifice by morality of path of definitive filial piety, the provide for obligation that all goes up to standard meaning inside capacity limits goes. Had new family, yourself is the first, conjugal concern is next, former unripe family and parentage are in ever since. Former unripe family and parentage are in ever since..
Notable is, after individual knot legitimate child establishs new family, the part had change, the person that it is person children at the outset became father and mother, became the former unripe family of own child.
Shen Yi Professor Fei reminds, the child is inchoate with parents get along the parentage after mode can decide, want to avoid traumatic generation time to deliver, "The scar of a bit former unripe family is very normal, can accomplish without the person perfect, parents cannot be perfect more, adult needs to assume the responsibility that has his. The effect that we should give ourselves to giving birth to a family formerly has the understanding that regains consciousness objectively and introspection, next generation that avoid oneself bring similar negative effect. Next generation that avoid oneself bring similar negative effect..
Shen Yi Professor Fei thinks, breeding means of parents can affect the parentage with the child, the family nowadays teachs the school work that pays close attention to the child too overly, and oversight other significant portion. Domestic days should be happy happiness, the communication of parents and children should build the base in equality, is not to contain very strong control desire or be force oneself volition on child body, "Actually some behavior of the child are not traitorous, however parents and child produced acting time difference, cannot understand or do not think real put oneself in other's position to understand the child's think of a way. Cannot understand or do not think real put oneself in other's position to understand the child's think of a way..
