Friendship, not be to use what bother and use

Once I think all the time, friendship, can depend on at will namely, friend, use optional labor namely.

For instance when my high school with desk, work in railway station booking office later, come for years, my feel at ease and justified gets the berth of a travel over there her oneself, although congested spring carry period. Still have the good friend in a colleague, her gentleman works in Korea, her holiday reunites with the gentleman. Often she goes before Korea, I list the length that holds her in the palm to be bought for me grows detailed list surely, it is what oneself need first, demand of family, friend is linked after also add along with all the others...

I never had cared about them whether willing, embarrassed, become aware everybody is a good friend only, all of course... this kind is capricious, last to Spring 2014 all the time.

When those, father fish cancer of the stomach, be admitted to hospital operation, the infection after art, send the ICU... those time, the mood is like Ling Chi, I carry Lv, scared and helpless, often be in late night, complain tearfully of handholding phone Xiang Biyu.

Jasper grows me 3 years old, we are known from Xiaoxiang, she at me, also elder sister Yi You, old friendly feelings, I scruple without place. More than complain tearfully, still have various appeal. The doctor in charge of a case that I end jasper accompanies I and father has a meal, make her acting the young nurse that my idea gives tutelar room sends gift, that doctor love eats ascertain after seafood, let her drive car count a hunderd li to buy product of new of great capacity again... jasper was done for me, those days, she holds the post of me to depend on, do not complain.

One week later, father out of danger, return common ward. Also be to rose that day, jasper and I am broken connection, she leaves message of a short message: I am sorry, as the friend, I am assumed do not have too heavy weight.

Did not give me the room that any redeeming, I dial her telephone again, already was the state that number is prevented.

Till a lot of day hind, I just meditated oneself, those who admit this friendship that lasted nearly 30 years is terminative, be not the fault of jasper. Love of jasper natural disposition is quiet, be afraid of disturbing, more not to be pooh-poohed and stranger contact with. I ask what she does everything, transcended her bottom line. She for me, firm firm embarrassed oneself are one. Also.

One enough, of jasper " definitely absolutely " , make me be in the god has waked in the muddled to friendly feelings and one's own wishful thinking for years. I did not try what to redeem again, but I, begin to learn to restrain oneself.

I no longer friendship regard as a kind " omnipotent " affection, be opposite for years to oneself the dependence of friendship lay off a bounds. I maintain the connection of as usual with the high school classmate that already accomplished deputy stationmaster as before, but give a problem to go up, I can try hard to be solved by oneself, can think a piece of ticket is staring at the newer information of 12306 a few days continuously. Have second get together, she asks, whether to go out for ages row? My honesty replies, the ticket was not bought so hard, oneself are bought, convenient also.

She laughs, in the smile with wind small weak cloud, the sensation that I see she maintains my composure.

I registered the sea to tax account, buy place to need goods, when the good friend leaves for Korea, say to her only " have a pleasant journey " . Different of her be surprised, also feel relieved however, when coming back, send me to admire a gift in the heart. I close, stare at each other smilingly with her, tacit.

I am in after all after losing jasper, grow the woman that is to accept and be liked by more person, in friendship, not not not beyond the mark, exacting, strong, sensible and self-discipline. And the cost that this grows, too costly.