In August the last ten-day of a month, li Yinhe and spouse master go Xinjiang visits an elder sister. They are arranged joined group of tourism of a train, visited Na Jiang and north border.
In altitude on 4500 meters the Pamirs, the master is excited unceasingly. His brandish is worn the cap skips Zuo is worn, shout " the Pamirs, I came " , then, he did 5 to jump greatly repeatedly again, keep crying in the mouth " Ye " !
"Next he headached. " when Li Yinhe has this picture to this print journalist memory, gave out bright and clear laugh. "He is too excited, arrived so high height above sea level, essential cannot enough scamper about, but his all forgot! " it is a string of laugh hind, she says: "Feel him particularly male, resemble a boy same. Resemble a boy same..
This year, li Yinhe of 67 years old and master of 55 years old are together already 22 years. When this paragraph of love is made public, ceng Yin sends many discussion. The tag that besides Li Yinhe itself carries -- the widow of Wang Xiaobo of the first female sociologist of Chinese that studies a gender, writer, more the identity of the person that cross sexual distinction because of the master -- his physiology is a female, but psychology is the male.
As a sociologist, him Li Yinhe experienced two paragraphs of famous love. She and Wang Xiaobo are awake photograph cherish of the intellectual, solemn pledge of love; With the master it is to surmount the blame of lay eye to be loved typically.
And love, also be one of fields that Li Yinhe researchs all the time. This year in August, li Yinhe rolls out new book " Li Yinhe says love " . She writes in the preface of the book: "I feel, on this world, besides the person that does not have joy of life except know clearly, each person has a such intense longing faintly, hope to be able to meet love namely, can be immersed in love. Can be immersed in love..
Li Yinhe and master are acquainted the summer 1997, die in Wang Xiaobo after 3 months.
A day will be July then, alley of Beijing Xidan hotpot held party of a homosexual, everybody dances on gazebo, chat, eat barbecue. The activity begins very long hind, li Yinhe appears suddenly on gazebo. The master remembers clearly, li Yinhe was wearing a skirt of black and white flower that day, what she appears is flashy, the master feels to be quickened from personal heartbeat.
Li Yinhe remembers, the individual laughed to oneself all the time that day in the evening. Later, then the individual comes over technically still to greet sb, stayed to contact means each other.
Before this, the master thinks he is female homosexual for a time, until knew Li Yinhe. After the experience that listened to a master, the Li Yinhe that pursues sexology research understood his special status at a draught: "They are the people of extraordinary, the person of common is too much, wuyangwu ends. You see the person of an extraordinary suddenly, this is quite interesting also, all sorts of his lives are experienced extraordinary. Extraordinary also is intriguing feature. Extraordinary also is intriguing feature..
This is they encounter the 2nd times actually. The master ever had seen Li Yinhe in the home of a friend. He is recollected, see Li Yinhe for the first time, have a feeling particularly. "The feeling is particularly quiet, for nothing, wear a glasses to sit over, a kind of special beauty. If can live all one's life with me,I consider this individual, much better. Much better..
After meeting the 2nd times before long, the master makes an appointment with Li Yinhe to come out. Phone a dozen pasts, li Yinhe said to be opposite his name. She goes to an appointment willingly, forget the appointment of another old friend to get completely however.
In the very long period of time later, the master should think of Li Yinhe only, can arise " the feeling that passes report " , "Hemp whizs, pass down nerve whole body, (resemble) by report same " .
In those days, the master is a taxi driver. To understand Li Yinhe further, below his car windshield, always putting a Wang Xiaobo " golden age " , he wants to know " golden age " the prototype of Li Chenqing raise is Li Yinhe, discovery is not later.
The master still wrote a lot of poems for Li Yinhe. Before encountering Li Yinhe, he never has learned to write a poem. A when the master shared him to was written 2004 to this print journalist " think you " , at that time, li Yinhe is away on official business in Shanghai. Having a few paragraphs among them is such:
Think our sweetheart
Remember we are extremely happy
You are a soft music
My heart is quiet because of this
Think our sweetheart
Remember we are gushing 10 thousand tender feelings
You are one warms warm spring breeze
My heart is tender because of this
Think our sweetheart
Remember we have the breadth of mind like the sea
You are a flowery cloud
I and your lifetime mutual reflect
After even if is very old, li Yinhe leafs through these poems again, still can touch weep. She says the master is " circumstances " poet, have felt the poem comes out. "A lot of person once love can write a poem, when loving, be not to write those who give a poem to come, if loving, he emerges with respect to spring of the thread of ideas in writing. Love this thing dispute to often have power so. When having, I feel it resembles choosing golden art like. When having, I feel it resembles choosing golden art like..
In " Li Yinhe says love " in, she describes the feeling of incorporeal spouse so: "The soul agrees degree very special two tall people, it is she likes him, he also likes her, two the individual's disposition can be attracted each other particularly, and go up in all problems keep no secrets from each other. And go up in all problems keep no secrets from each other..
Li Yinhe says, she and master are such feeling. "We never appear with respect to any problems special talk not approach perhaps wants to be less than one case (circumstance) . We are especially consistent, special province is strong, often have the feeling of the ascarid in abdomen, I had not said sentence, he knows to fall sentence. He knows to fall sentence..
To the gender, li Yinhe's manner all the time very open. For instance, she conceals the strong interest that she loves to cruel none, almost cruel loves subject matter the novel of creation. She still is in autobiography " the world collects honey to write down " in exposure, because oneself like cruel to love, affected Wang Xiaobo slowly, there also can be the action of SM between them. Wang Xiaobo's novel " prospective world " do not know for a time how ending, used cruel to love image later, he says to Li Yinhe: "It is the effect that suffers you. "It is the effect that suffers you..
Nevertheless, although Li Yinhe is agreed with adequately to sexual status of the master, but they still are two kinds of very different people. Li Yinhe likes to read, see a movie, sometimes, the master is met for company she sees a movie, look at look at was asleep. After awaking, li Yinhe opens his fun: "You go really, in the film so lively, you can sleep! You can sleep!!
And the master likes to hit mahjong, sing. Previously, he and parents had card strong interest, 3 be short of one, teach Li Yinhe to hit. Have this new mastery of a skill or technique a little, li Yinhe Lie opens mouth laugh to: "I still learned really, learned, but I (feel) uninteresting, and feel too time-consuming. And feel too time-consuming..
Slowly, the master does not love to hit mahjong with Li Yinhe, because she follows infantine, "Be defeated via rising win, not adept " . "If she was mixed, with respect to scamper cadaver, begin to cry. If was not mixed, that lose, lose a few money, she feels distressed. " the master says at the same time, imitate the feverish interest that the both hands when Li Yinhe wins a medal raises at the same time, there is a smile in the eye.
Master, person if name, lead energy of life of an a person adept in martial arts and given to chivalrous conduct oneself, individual character is doughty, the word that uses Li Yinhe says, "Those who live cheerly " . Accept this print journalist to interview that day, the master is wearing the graceful couplet polo shirt of a black, speech is concise and strong.
Before the relation is made public, the meeting when master of Introduction Li Yinhe says this is her agent. In ever having a story, write, "In the circle often the agent of fabulous Li Yinhe very not to be trifled with " , if the reporter calls when Li Yinhe sleeps or be composed,go, can bring about none modest reprimand.
The master feels he is a man as a child, hate daughter body, because this is a bit excessive even,develop his male temperament and mentality. "He himself the life experience of itself, make he asks he is returned than the man man, include the defect of a lot of men even, for instance old man creed. Cross sexual person so, a lot of person belongs to what guard quite, traditional idea. " Li Yinhe explains.
Li Yinhe ever was recollected to phoenix video, the master ever had become the conductor ticket seller of the bus, the woman that sells an egg with on board fights, kick of the one foot when boil with anger goes, the egg broke one ground, the other side also the glasses batter him. Later, two people are taken police station, was taught by the police. "He is to belong the sort of person, anyway aggressiveness is particularly strong, fight easily. " Li Yinhe says. Till understanding after Li Yinhe, the master just learns tolerance slowly, fight no longer.
Master ever more than say to media, his jealousy crosses Wang Xiaobo. Li Yinhe is in " the world collects honey to write down " in write: "Although every time you are troubled by me for small wave and me very embarrassed, the mood is contradictory, but I did not regret my choice. I always feel you have self-abased mentality, so you just are met so sensitive. And you do not know, you are how lovely, you are pure, enthusiastic, work must lead affection to lead a gender, it is to love me so. It is to love me so..
Li Yinhe compares Wang Xiaobo and master into soy and vinegar, the individual character of two sweethearts differs completely. "Because small wave is so perfect, affirmative after him meeting has the sort of have experienced great things to be a hard job to the feeling of water, fall in love with others not easily again, if they are same a person of the type, I am very difficult (fall in love with again) . For example small wave if acetic word, then I look for a half bottle vinegar impossibly again, but the master is soy. But the master is soy..
Nevertheless, look in her, two sweethearts have to be nodded jointly is " the love that they produced passion to me, it is very difficult that I feel this is keep out " . In new book " Li Yinhe says love " in, she is love cent 3 administrative levels: Good impression, like the love with passion. Among them, the probability that passionate love produces is not high.
Li Yinhe says: "I feel most to traditional family of China arrives namely like this rate. Also had held out so, be deeply attached to each other, everybody eats, play, sleep together. Although do not have passionate love to happen, they also can well, bear children. This is a kind of harmony, stable, stable, faithful relation. This is a kind of harmony, stable, stable, faithful relation..
So, she feels she is very lucky, two paragraphs of love enter the degree of passionate love. Also because such, when Li Yinhe just knew a master, her elder brother's wife speaks: "3 instead (Li Yinhe original name) how to drop sweet canister again in? "3 instead (Li Yinhe original name) how to drop sweet canister again in??
The attention that a paragraph of feeling after be being compared causes, the love of she and Wang Xiaobo, more be in love like the fanaticism that is two intellectuals.
1977, after the university graduates, Li Yinhe is entered " bright daily " the job. She from the novel manuscript that Wang Xiaobo of semiconductor factory worker saw over there the friend " green Mao Shui is strange " . The novel writes this getting on in to have the horizontal case of beautiful the title page of a thread-bound book, handwriting is thickly dotted, the left and right sides not blank. Read a novel, li Yinhe has bit of feeling that the heart is interlinked, she feels oneself and this person can produce bit of what thing sooner or later.
As expected, when two people meet the 2nd times, wang Xiaobo professioned not fourthly suddenly.
Although Wang Xiaobo is right,the expression of love always is enthusiastic and clinking, but compare a master outside put, he is indrawn a lot of. Li Yinhe says for fun, when be together with Wang Xiaobo, odd the thing of look good as result of recieving praise gets her to go up. She is recollected, shop once return money, made a noise to rise with the boss. "I am enraged confoundedly at that time, I say I had not seen this kind of blamed thing. " saying, she imitates the dialect that has a boss, "What? Your name-calling? Your name-calling??
"Wang Xiaobo wishs to wanted to start work, to that degree, however expert touched my head door. " in the future of Li Yinhe head is admired, as if true somebody stamp she, continue to say, "Actually this is planted thing should go up king is small, he does not go up, (can) I go up. He is more indrawn than me! He is more indrawn than me!!
But of Wang Xiaobo die suddenly yielding this love can be only " this affection can need look back " . Later, li Yinhe writes in recalling an essay: "The love with small wave is the gem that God sends me, it is surprise, sweet completely in memory, of small wave die early more the poem changed course of this paragraph of life, make it precipitates deeply in the life in me. Make it precipitates deeply in the life in me..
No matter be with Wang Xiaobo, still be a master, li Yinhe feels the love of their passion grows close sentiment finally. "Still be the relation of love, romantic love, but not be certainly at the beginning the sort of have intense emotion particularly, passion becomes tender feelings. Passion resembles fire, after be familiar with very much, passion becomes soft, fire changes water. Fire changes water..
After be together with the master, li Yinhe was become thoroughly swing palmar ark. In 22 years when be together, arrive greatly the processing of all sorts of human relations, small to buy the clothes, buy a shoe, buy food, almost all life bagatelles are done by the master. Occasionally, kin home gave what business, the master still needs to remind Li Yinhe, we should get ready to kin money.
Li Yinhe is not willing to spend time on living petty thing. If she goes out together with the master buy the clothes, capture wears to say to hold out good-looking. "Often the dress of her settle on fastens Titus malformation, so I do not take her. " the master says.
Li Yinhe and Wang Xiaobo were not borne. They do not want the child of one's own accord. Wang Xiaobo has one elder brother one younger brother, was born respectively one male one female. Li Yinhe has two elder sisters, also was born respectively one male one female. They ever said for fun, the family that won't be oneself adds what new breed again, choose so not Yo.
And the master's growth environment, have thick the close condition that must not change, if,he feels mortal before do not have even the child, it is a regret. 2001, li Yinhe and master from adopt of children welfare courtyard a baby with 5 only big months. Because the child is weak and sick, the master's father names for him strong.
Master, Zhuangzhuang and Li Yinhe (from left to right) visit relics of examine of Yi of Mexican rare a general name for certain musical instruments
Very fast, zhuang Zhuangcheng the centre of gravity of the family. Li Yinhe ever was recollected to phoenix video, the village that they live at that time does not allow to seal the balcony, because concern is strong strong safety, the family insists to want to seal the balcony dead, for this and property conflict endlessly, still seal the balcony dead finally.
At first, strong strong call Li Yinhe mammy, call a master father. When he is 45 years old, ask a master suddenly, can you be in charge of him to call mom? "Because father is too severe,he says, mom is good. Await him to be able to see a few cartoon in those days, father often hits the child of what. I say you like to call what to call namely, thenceforth awaited him himself to change. " the master says.
Did " mammy " hind, the happiness that Li Yinhe always can experience the expect that brings her to this little life to be less than and surprise. Strong strong in one's childhood, ever had made art of eye correct forehand twice. Before the operating-table on first time, he calls to Li Yinhe nervously, say oneself think her, can hide in the quilt to cry stealthily only. After hanging a phone, li Yinhe thinks of " have on this world so a little life is thinking me " , also weep more than.
Have a year of winter vacation, their belt is strong strong go to Shenzhen travelling. One pedestrian swings a boat in Shenzhen arboretum, strong strong look at the flower that blooms on the hillside, appear suddenly: "Beautiful mother leaves full hillside. " " what is although he is likely,what do not know oneself say, but I am very surprizing however, touch very much. I feel this is the most beautiful line on the world, countless great poets wanted to defeat a head to also can not draw up certainly such line. Countless great poets wanted to defeat a head to also can not draw up certainly such line..
Strong strong like a painting as a child, on the notebook in the home, on the book, it is the line that he draws. The master says: "Draw this kind of line all the time, not tire of its are irritated, every day, month in and month out, annual, even one day draws a pile. Even one day draws a pile..
Later, li Yinhe and master let strong strong a didactics stroke that follows the beautiful courtyard central, after learning two years, someone says the institute sends the imagination that can restrict the child, then, they let again strong strong draw follow one's inclinationsly according to oneself idea.
Strong strong picture
Regretful nevertheless is, strong strong when 3 years old two, old people discovers he is not willing to let others hold in the arms, the eye also is not willing to have direct contact with others. Later, these phenomenal all the more are apparent, diagnose through the doctor, strong strong suffer from Yasibaige disease -- this is considered as commonly " do not have intelligent obstacle shut disease oneself " . After going to school, strong strong should give more effort than common child, elementary school still is attending when 14 years old 5 grade.
Once, strong strong be bullied by other student in the school, under one anger, he and the other side were hit. When the teacher criticizes him, he gets the teacher's finger again. The director demand of the school is strong strong transfer. The master is entreated all the time give the child the chance again, gentle words of the other side refused.
Li Yinhe stands, say: "We do not get on this to learn, the child is put here what cannot they teach, what cannot learn, help us see a child at most. " later, she says to the master, go to school may not is an outlet. That momently, the master feels Li Yinhe " especially big woman " , "Breadth of mind is open " .
After Li Yinhe retires from the the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, she and master bought a house in power sea. Their house is not far from the seaside, need 5 minutes only on foot. Li Yinhe should go there everyday take a walk. Her life extremely the rule, before dawn got up at 5 o'clock, compose in the morning, read afternoon, see a movie in the evening. Strong strong also follow Li Yinhe to live in power sea. They did not ask tutor for him, allow to develop by his interest. Li Yinhe often is released on her public date strong strong picture is made.
And the master stays in Beijing to run a company, rush about between two cities. "Past love when, two people often are together stick together, how to disrelish insufficient interest together, now we two ground live apart more, no matter where the person is, feel two people often are together, ever parted far from. Ever parted far from..
The master says, in his eye, bigger than oneself Li Yinhe of 12 years old is a little girl forever. "Very pure, very brave, special justice, the hellion of guilty of unpardonable evil is done not have in her eye, as long as it is a person, she can discover his virtue, her include heart resembling goddess is same, she is very clean, very pure. Very pure..
Li Yinhe is enjoying her life and love comfortably. It is early when 20 years old, she begins to ponder over the meaning of the universe and life. She writes in the diary: "The world is good in my eye, but I am not good in the eye of alive bound. I am one of boundless and indistinct universe small this world only. Who did the happiness of a small this world have to you can notice? Who did the happiness of a small this world have to you can notice??
Later, she is more than the ground says to media, love can say is the most interesting thing on this world. This is this response to 20 years old it seems that.
She is in no less than " Li Yinhe says love " in write: "One day I think you also meet me this age, die water fleeting time, what is the rarest thing that stays in so old years? In the final analysis, I think, still be love. Still be love..
