Hello, I am Zhou Xiaopeng. Welcome you to return " he is off the rails! Fasten confused, you want so do " classroom. The content that I interpret today is, how get behind and the beguiling skill that answer a man.
You may think this class cannot help you, because you had known the other side is off the rails clearly. Perhaps you still are suspecting him, you had not caught him clearly the off the rails, evidence that breaks off a leg, you still need to think method confirms. Of course no matter you two be in what phase now, understand a few necessary knowledge, can help you answer a question better not only, still perhaps can help future you two rehabilitate feeling. Or, if the other side follows you to assure future he won't be again off the rails, what you can be clear that he says is a fact.
I tell those who tell me to seek advice from a client to love the story of love with you first. Be in among the activity, love loved to know Afanda, afanda grows not only Gao Youshuai, and his working ability also is to comparative Oh. Afanda also is to fall in love at first sight to loving. After he sees love the first times of love, spread out violent pursuit one time to loving. Afanda is to please love to the utmost, this makes love love super touch, love of very fast love and A Fan Da decided love concerns. But spent half an year, love loves to feel A Fan amounts to unlike to just began in that way enthusiasm. Nevertheless love loves to also feel to live always cannot be before the flowers and below the moon, this still can accept. Till an accidental opportunity, love loves to see Afanda and an unfamiliar beautiful girl when cuddle is together, love loves to just discover, before before oneself those bad feelings, it is to came from Yuafanda to change early actually heart.
When you hear here, it is the neither one good thing that thinks the world man is true again, are they cheater? Encounter like you this man is same now, he is in keep cheating you. But I want to tell you, not be all men it is such, a lot of men also are the affection life that yearns for stability.
Respecting is cheated, robert Feierdeman has become the psychologist of university of state of Zhu Sai of American horse Sa an experiment, his experiment is people when chatting daily, he took case of the spot below a covert camera collection. Next experimental personnel watchs kinescope at the same time, will calculate at the same time the frequency with lying in chat people, the result makes a person very amazed, people can say 3 fairy tale ten minutes every on average. The Liu Yi that American new jersey writings brush abdicate hospital place belongs to a college of medicine about the research of Si Bo person also test and verify this, the frequency that he asks informant him introspection lies everyday, and informant admits, they lie on average the least everyday the frequency is 25. And actually, what this data should think than themselves is even much. This shows, lying is a very general issue, everybody can lie everyday. Go to a company going to work today e.g. you, you see a female fellow worker, you say with her: "Dear, recently you a few thinner oh. " she is done not have obviously actually thin. And you are clear that you are to lying, you say the purpose of this word is to make her happy, but you still can say. For example, you are the closest mood actually bad, but when others sees you, can say, hey, you had looked. So cost Er De Mangen occupies research result, farther summary gives people to like 3 motive that lie: The first, denounce people love, let a family had felt, the 2nd, pretentious oneself and outfit manner; The 3rd, ego protection.
More such to a few crammer in amative marriage. In marriage, perhaps be in love, the crammer after a lot of men are off the rails, to them character is protection. They need to protect their to be not blamed by you, the increase that they also consider to protect themselves is bigger change. Their increase that I say here is bigger change, it is some moment their both sides is hated to part with abandon. I am being done with a few off the rails males when seeking advice, what their majority person says with me is: "I fear to be discovered, when I cheat my wife, I am more gingerly, for fear that she exposes I. " or he still can say " after my girlfriend discovered, she can part company with me " the word of and so on, they very fear. So you want to know, when you discover the other side is off the rails, in before he had cheated you very long.
How to discern the deceit of what hereat meaning, what is kindness crammer in the word that your husband or boy friend say? Behavior psychologist can say, you should learn to combine the man's language, view his specific action, because the language can be decorated, be cheated even and pass act, ability understands one the individual's psychology truly. Behavior psychology thinks, behavior is the combination of a person's exciting to external environment reaction, all sorts of inherent psychology characteristics that report gives this one person, viewpoint of value reads aloud and play mode, the activity of a lot of types can pass behavior report to come out. So next, let me tell you to identify a man to cheat 5 methods of skill. I remind more even here, perhaps this moment your husband is already off the rails, but I can what clarity thinks of is, he still may not want to divorce with you now, so he still can tell you possibly, he follows there already menopause concerned absolutely. But still still worrying actually in your heart, they meet again even. So we should help your get behind through a few methods.
The first method, ask the question of a few open mode more, general shammer can make up only frame of a story, of the description often lack detail, so you should ask the question of open mode, let him more easily show flaw. The boy friend that suspects you when you for example goes out to play game in the evening, you cannot ask him " you play game in the evening " , want to change additionally one kind of method to ask: "What do you do in the evening? "Say when him he himself is working when, you should express to suspect, but cannot say not to believe, you should enquire he goes encountering what thing on working road, what thing is encountered between the job, work overtime tonight added what content. If he thinks the word that lie, he must be gotten write more stories. Between the process that invents a lie, he is circled extremely likely to go in by his crammer, by you get behind. The first crammer that faces him so does not want first anxious and negative.
The 2nd method, ask a few questions that yield take sb by surprise of the other side, perhaps let the other side use order. The social psychologist Aldert Vrij of university of second Mao Si applied British Chinese hackberrya cognitive bear theory reformed trial method. This theory is to say, no matter human cerebra can be handled information content has how tremendous, most person can undertake finite reflection only in sometime dot, in same time paragraph the cognitive resource inside is finite. If be besides common thinking procedure,increase additional reflection, can generate cognitive negative charge. Will tell with common saying, call cost brain. Falsifier is in when answering other to enquire, not only should write a story, consider expression even, so we can connect bother about a few unexpected problems that have nothing to do, perhaps let the other side pour foreword incident course, dispersive his cognitive resource, raise his cognitive negative charge further, make he maintains the logic that lie hard, can let their show one's true colours. What makes order? Ask for instance: "You are done today? " answer of the other side says to work overtime tonight. You ask what he sees when come back then. Answer of the other side says what to see on the road that coming back. "Hey, do you work overtime today what is those who add? " you when ground of this moment do with sb unconscious goes asking him a few questions that he did not prepare, the likelihood is met different. Additional of course you still can ask he works overtime today tired. We are OK just think arrives, this person is essential not tired very tired perhaps when, his expressive means is completely different. So you must ask the question of a few do with sb unconscious. Fasten first anxious and negative, fasten first anxious complain. About the topic of the mood, I can be used technically tell will tell.
The 3rd method, observe the self-confidence of the other side is spent, timely issue a challenge. When fabulist thinks they mastered active advantageous position, they often are met harangue. And once they find incorrect interest when, asked about crucial question when you for instance when, they are met silent perhaps fumble. You can associate your life, the boy friend that asks about you when you or old business when, he says: "Alas, I work overtime! " you ask he works overtime then when what adding, he can say possibly, "Alas, this kind of matter said you also do not know " , or " alas, I am very tired now, I should rest " . If he is in the process that talks with you,appeared to compare apparent manner change so, then we are about to consider the other side whether lying, you can try this time the confidence that challenges the other side, you can ask him: "Why should I believe these words that you say? " no matter what the other side says, you ask same question again: "You had not answered me, if why should I believe you say? " this moment, shammer can be behaved extremely likely excessively or utterly discomfited ground censures your distrust he, even their meeting threaten assures with character will prove. In this moment, you are OK have the initiative examines minutely detail further, you can say with him: "Good ah, since you say to hope I believe you, do you tell me what thing you encounter when work overtime today then? Work overtime today what is the content that add? " such word, you can understand him what to do after all today really. Such you can prevent his cheat to you.
The 4th method, in pay close attention to and affirming the other side to narrate petty, little detail. E.g. , the husband that becomes you says to be in in the evening when working overtime, you can ask work overtime from when to arrive, you and who works overtime together, you cry today outside sell, the what meal that you eat. These detail can be checked very easily through investigating a case of a physically strong patient running a high fever or suffering from such disorders as stasis of blood, and these things are not easy fictional crammer, although was made up very easy also by get behind. So once have flaw, you know he was lying.
The 5th method, must not be eager to expose crammer. Research makes clear, shammer whether successfully deceit, whether is the listeners that what he depends on is him willing to believe him. So if you discovered a flaw, you do not want to be corrected immediately, pretend oneself believe, such shammer can show a few flaw and do not have the opportunity of round lie at all.
What I teach you in this class today is, how we detect the other side to lie. This kind of detected purpose depends on two, depend on firstly, if he tells you he wanted to turn round now, but you do not decide whether he turns round, you can ask a few problems go understanding him to whether still be more cheat you; Secondly, if you just are suspecting he is off the rails now, then you can understand bother about problem, go judging him to whether cheat you really. If you had decided the other side is off the rails now, perhaps had decided he breaks off a leg, but he still follows you now sticky together, then you must know him after all present circumstance is what kind of, so we have 5 methods. The first is the question that asks a few open mode more; The 2nd is the question that asks a few your the other side do with sb unconscious, perhaps let him use the means of cut back; The 3rd method, observe the self-confidence of the other side is spent, give out the problem that a few have challenge sex timelily; The 4th method, pay close attention to and confirm the detail with fine in the description the other side, ask e.g. you he cried which outside sell, when to arrive to work overtime etc; The 5th method, do not be eager to expose crammer, listen first, listened to ask later again.
The main content that I tell you today is the cerebrum mechanism that lie and psychological principle, also teach you a few methods, I should leave an exercise to give you now. Seek a time, with a piece white paper records the lie that your husband perhaps has scattered before the boy friend. Think what he said that day, how say, how do you ask. You think back to these detail when, I am not to make you more painful, however I hope you know, when prospective some day he is returned still so when cheating you, you can know you do not trust blindly even clearly he.
Good, our course ended to here today. Issue section class, our good-bye!
