Everybody is good, I am piece of wild goose contain, master a bit psychology, can let us learn to get along with oneself better, also can have run oneself duty field and life, let oneself can become real life to win the home.
The specific technology that respecting communicates about improvement, should say be too numerous to mention one by one, but a few when I share with everybody next small subtle move, can let you assure to be in this communication process of human relation at least, won't antagonize, and the likelihood still has the surprise of a few accidents, sound so can very charming.
The first when I share to everybody first small subtle move is called praise. A lot of people say, teacher of wild goose contain has course to had been told before you, it is very important to listen attentively to, listen, hear, understand, I knew, but my this individual is not good at expression namely, I also do not know to understand, I also do not know how to speak with the family. OK, the highway comes brief, share with everybody first so this praises be known as person and person to communicate the bridge of a rainbow in the center, what calls rainbow the bridge? Everybody has seen rainbow, vaulted, not be golden arch of course, be 7 colour. Then it can let person and person approach each other through such rainbow bridge, itself we may be two independence is individual, how do we produce the join between heart and heart? That rainbow bridge, namely this praises even if one had better be used quickly most a carrier.
Why is we should say to praise the bridge of a rainbow between person and person? Because it accords with the demand with human nature. Our respecting is the highway comes brief, we must tackle the element of a few core, you can discover, be being communicated with the person actually is not a particularly bad thing, what is the main demand of that human nature? Be in besides safe, esteem, actually we need outside notting have with respect to that when, hope to be approved e.g. us, say without the person, I hope this world does not approbate me. Be approved, include to be praised next, be admitted, be understood.
I believe I say this word, everybody can nod, likely perhaps you like color red, I like green, likelihood you like food sweet, I like hot, likelihood you like dress to be being installed this kind, I like to lie fallow, can have difference. But main demand of human nature is to do not have divergent, it is me just above a few what what tell. So we know this kind is approved, be waited a moment by understanding, below the situation that may need a framework to understand in a deepness of we and other actually, but praising is we are called a brick picked up to knock on the door and thrown away when it has served its purpose-a stepping-stone to success, it is the skill that the person of a support of the people of the easiest introduction communicates.
That may have some of person or I encounter a lot of people to be able to say, teacher of wild goose contain I am particularly unaccustomed this boast person, I feel boast person is especially false, this thing has been done went, do we work must go praising? Just contain teacher has told wild goose to say, because praise,be main demand of human nature, when you satisfied the basic requirement of a person, you are admitted very easily, that then, you were admitted, the business that do is met successful. But conversely we that a moment ago problem, we why unaccustomed praise? We are told below the circumstance normally say, china is a particularly implicative country, it is we love in expression actually, in expressive laudatory moment, metropolis special bashful, actually you go to a very main reason think back to, parents also is done not have when we are small very effective had praised we, be like us to had been done is should, but you had been done, do possibly when it is so good to do not have, the discipline sb as a warning that parents can have a lot of, punish, complain, the action that criticizes such can happen.
So we did not feel to have what thing is need by laudatory, also won't think we need to praise of course others. So former unripe family is opposite so namely everyone goes so fictile, praise so when us others when, because do not have a habit to be praised as a child, praise then when you others when, you can feel naturally very hard.
Because that is not your familiar part, say that is not your familiar road even. So if begin from today, it is more important that you know to say what this thing imagines than me so to praise, so it is a brick picked up to knock on the door and thrown away when it has served its purpose-a stepping-stone to success of person and person, so it is person and person framework the rainbow bridge of good relationship. So if you also feel it is very important to praise, next then teacher of wild goose contain shares this laudatory with everybody measure and a few corresponding core technologies.
Above all a bit, we want a thing that do, did not praise blindly, because there is a word before us likely, called applepolish to pat equestrian hoof, . A very important thing that so we should do before praise observes namely, we want to be sure to keep in mind, observe 3 advantages of the other side, it is the part that you think he is to have such advantages really certainly, also had better be the part that his individual thinks he is his advantage really at the same time, this is chime in easily.
We are major the person also is in what learn respect of a few communication skill with me because of my some students, he remembers only, teacher of wild goose contain says to want to praise, next he also praises, crossed a week to say with me, human relation alleviated than before really a bit, but I feel to also do not have what you say to seem so magical. Why? Because we did not praise effectively, I tell today but of not simple is to praise, how to cry however effective, valid idea is you must want to discover the other side the part that 3 you think that is an advantage really, your praise goes out, he just can have force and sincerity exceedingly.
Praise e.g. somebody, you often say, you are very thin, actually likelihood the other side is a little small fat model schoolgirl, do then you think this praises is the meeting effective? The reason is you also do not think she is very thin, herself also does not think she is very thin, or you slant a skin quite yellow person, you follow him, ouch, your skin well, your skin is really white. The other side says certainly, have? I this long still blain child, my skin is very yellow, can the family feel what thing you have? Your boast I, are you to ask what thing I do? Without sincerity, so such praising is invalid. If we want,praise effectively so, search you to think 3 advantages on body of the other side, had better be the part of the advantage that he himself also thinks this is him, come down these partial records first, this is very important.
Person of that additionally one part can say with me, I cannot discover to there is an advantage on others body, have such person certainly, because have some of person,his thinking mode is approach is mixed at nagging of judge, he sees a person can visit the individual's then insufficient place forever, what with respect to him the dress wears is quite good, but his shoe is tie-in but bad, he is wrapped that pretty good still, how wear so a suit sodden dress.
You can see us is other without giving thought to in the life, even oneself are met occasionally such, we find fault namely expert, although say a whole picture already 99% be perfect, we still come to that 1% winkle effectively, when having so, actually human relation was immersed in some people a very big deadlock, come from namely do not have an eye for at him and praise others. That says I cannot discover 3 virtues of others, say as teacher of wild goose contain in that way how do I do? I tell you the way, it is the person that you cannot discover others virtue, do you keep be opposite in the defect of captious others for certain? The diagonal of that defect is the advantage of that individual.
Cite a case e.g. me, you see a person, you react instinctively is to say this individual is very miserly, you should use to the word enclothes it, what word is that? Be called economical. Another for example: Wow, this person is very irratable, it is disposition very impatient, a diagonal his to what is the word? The executive ability that you can discover these people are regular special strong. Still have one part person you feel this individual is from morning till night in that kink, be in next then all things act with respect to it doesn't matter force, but what is the diagonal that can you discover it? His thinking is likely very careful, and his nature may be very gentle, he is not willing to conflict with others happening, he can have a kind of such state.
So we come from namely in the first pace of laudatory technology discover 3 virtues at going effectively, although you cannot discover, teacher of wild goose contain also teachs you this this kind of means that how seeks an advantage. What be next? It is us should understand this laudatory principle, praise effectively namely, avoid not specific.
What is called avoid not specific? It is some student union come to an agreement or understanding, I went praising, may walk next before Xiaowang, I also do not know how I praise, say with him next, xiaowang, I feel your this individual is especially good, small Wang Zaimang, look up looked, thank, also do not know what to should answer, the person that has sense of humor possibly a little says, my where is good, or how. But without any value, because your thing is done not have,go inside the heart that beats each other, what is called so praise effectively, it is we must praise above specific event. Just ended a project e.g. Xiaowang, those who do is very beautiful, what is called this moment to praise effectively, avoid not specific, come from namely do not say at you, xiaowang you are very marvellous, have the effect? Have the effect, but insufficient, truly enough is, small Wang Wojiao among that project of 3 you are advanced months, acumen ground becomes aware force, concentrated executive power, still having is special in this process defend this interest of our company, I feel this 3 parts you are too marvellous. Xiaowang can be touched certainly, why? Because he discovers somebody is paying close attention to him, somebody saw his pain really, his effort was seen, is a general not merely say, you are too marvellous, you think, means of such a laudatory can true move person.
Boast goes when including us to have a girl, if you say directly, you are really beautiful, she can be thanked likely, also wave. If you say, you wear this body dress today other this breastpin, I feel special that I must suit the gas field of this body dress. What kind of feeling is she? Be your observation, you were analysed, you were cared about, so we look be like to praise simply give out, but actually backside should have very rich content, this ability is one truly effective kind praises.
The observation that still we a moment ago were told 3 advantages, want to praise effectively, the 3rd comes from namely master to call laudatory the opportunity even at us. We often say is not you all should go only boast person, close certainly get good result, very important is to come from at the opportunity very important also.
The opportunity has 3 shares, the first is you should be in boast goes when the other side is disengaged him, e.g. the family busy terribly defeated when, work namely accumulation is like hill, next your slowly stroll went, ground of very specific also be born goes praising the other side, but the other side may say a thank, did not hear actually, because other issues are considering in his brain, perhaps feel what thing you have? Can have a kind of such reaction. Want to compare leisure relatively in the other side so, when chatting unconsciously, go praising.
Still have, it is namely when mood of the other side is cheerful, you go praising, can get the result that perfect, because the other side is likely it is painful to be in, was scolded by the boss for example, just quarrelled with other staff for example, be in next this moment, you very not choose opportunity ground is wanting to say, teacher of wild goose contain said, I want to praise, I also feel I discovered his virtue, I also feel I praised is for certain very of be born, not not specific, you went by to say, you do not receive the likelihood to the other side to be thankful to yours, perhaps say the attention to you, the reason is to come from hear these things without the mood momently then at him. Praise so when the other side is cheerful, also can get good result.
Still one is called immediateness to praise, I can tell a few classes about wisdom parent occasionally, I often say, do when the child to a thing when, you want the one split second that happens in this thing, immediateness undertakes praising to this thing, experience and experience of this child best, build him easily to behavior. After we are actually grown, still also be to other such.
E.g. Xiaowang the outstanding achievement of this month is done particularly particularly pretty good, next you also want to praise he, always be very bashful, next below that this he very exalted position, you did not praise, passed 10 days 15 days next, his excitement spends the likelihood what to had done not have, because this is planted,the excited sense that all and explicit acquisition gives us and achievement feel, it is actually hard long hold together and those who last. So then you passed 15 days, he already this thing slowly weak, you go by to say, hum, xiaowang, I feel you the outstanding achievement that last quarters make is particularly good, he also can say a thank possibly, that momently he also can feel you are praising he, but won't make his generation special hey value. So you had better be when outstanding achievement forms for reporting statistics comes out, when discovering Xiaowang is done very well, immediateness says, xiaowang I saw this month your effort, what I feel you are done really is very marvellous, you see this outstanding achievement be done much more beautifully, our make persistent efforts, everybody is cheered at the same place, I feel you promoted in a lot of respects, wait a moment etc.
This momently the power that he takes is very different certainly, and you praise to his can let him more one is plant flourishingly motivation goes struggling, if you are only,concern with his average fellow worker next, he also can feel this my colleague admires me. So about praising the choice of the opportunity we are about to hold 3, it is namely when the other side is disengaged, when mood of the other side is cheerful, and when just accomplishing a very beautiful thing to square steel, immediateness goes praising, very important.
Want to talk about a higher technology with everybody next, make how praise get twice the result with half the effort. Actually we should master two principles, the first is called a person with self-confidence, the 2nd tries to praise on bagatelle namely, you can take laudatory the effect of this get twice the result with half the effort.
I cite two small case to everybody, what is the first called to be called a person with self-confidence, I have honey of a boudoir, she actually the skin slants quite black, and she slants for this black skin, hold out all the time namely self-abased, she sent a small letter to say to me one day, elder sister of wild goose contain, you feel I am quite black really. How should I say then? Normal person can say, do not have, it is OK to be returned actually. My answer is such, I feel is to have a bit black. Because this is a fact, I do not need to lie with her, but I am in before responding to her, I looked for two pieces of photographs, a photograph is our country once famous songbird, she basks in the skin into wheaten color, cut a the sort of hair of this kind of long LOB next, look very haggard the sort of dressing up, next very special sex appeal. I send this piece of picture to her. Return those who one has a few abroad to hold silk high e.g. green jade, they very the metal feels the sort of slanting a bit blacker skin, the hair may be done so that compare big and so on.
I tell her, I am to feel to have a bit black, I agree with her first, send her two pieces of pictures, next I say with her, not be white it is exclusive beauty, if how can you show itself do if how can you show itself,I say? If a flock of people are white, if you did not arrive in vain the condition like porcelain baby, is that much more difficult? Not as additional as us still monarch paths, we have nature blackly, even we slant a bit blacker, still can make oneself very sexy, that is the style of your develop a school of one's own.
Because of course I also know this girl very much, this girl or very special a such archer that stands to go alone the girl, after so she listens, particularly excited, so she also changed hair style very quickly, changed the color of this makeup look next, always buy the sort of a bit lower pink end to hit before, but later simply not such, but because,discover her later this self-confident thing, and human relationship is better and better also, she always won't think others to see her, feel she is very black this thing, this is a very trivial example tells about what what is called get twice the result with half the effort to praise to everybody, it is you can exceed each other anticipate, give others namely with self-confidence.
Still one goes up to bagatelle namely in order to praise. I cite a particularly simple case, be in before me namely foreign enterprise when, we are to have about the same that one building is a company, may not be particularly big of course, probably 600 the left and right sides that make the same score rice, we have an aunt is to give us to secure clean healthful. I have two days to begin advertent her, when I have, water cup is put in what position for example, I can discover the following day I reach the office when, when the likelihood goes, I rush, put in this other positions, when she still can help me be placed in that position, again she comes in, in the time that noon break influences, clear away a little when be being arranged, I am told with her, I say grandson elder sister, I discover you do sanitation to be in charge of again seriously again, and particularly special attentive, she is abrupt was stupefied, because she does not think her job is valuable, she feels she is the character of a low layer, she feels she does these is should, she never has thought of, these go round and round, look even the thing of good for nothing, can be praised, perhaps can be praised, be in so that momently, I see inside her eye particularly excited ray.
Next next I want to share me what to encounter with everybody, it is this grandson elder sister can give me each weeks to bring an apple, next or that dawdle that is her native place of what, the likelihood is celebrating a festival the left and right sides gives me, such. Finally I by outside clique abroad before, I still made a call with her, I say grandson elder sister, I want outside clique. Her eye socket is red, she says: Alas, you should go how long, when also knowing you come back, I still am in do not be here. Because of her years is not actually young also.
When we have, be in a few tiny issues, you can see really and go praising others when, the likelihood is passed on that is to exceed you imagine. Of course I praise at that time she, do not know her after the event can give me so much thing, special to me perhaps take care of, that momently I am to convey her to be thanked to mine sincerely really, and even if be the self-identity of an average job,feel to her.
In laudatory so this part does a summary, praising namely is one of main demand of human nature, praising is the rainbow bridge between person and person, because we are small when parents does not have the likelihood to praise too much we, after we are so grown, external praise become very hard, but a sharp weapon that still knows this is human relation association, so we should praise, does that praise how to want? Observe 3 advantages of the other side, want to undertake praising effectively, avoid not specific, should be in at the same time leisure of the other side, cheerful with incident just when excellent episode happens, immediateness ground goes praising, and shared this laudatory pattern that expects about how exceeding each other with everybody, give a person namely with self-confidence, and the person gives on common petty thing in order to praise, about laudatory so this communication technology shares here with everybody.
