Face unreasonable demand of the child, parents should learn to say " not "

"Good, happy, you had watched animation 40 minutes today, put out TV! " Le Le's mom is reminding him, according to the domestic regulation of their home, can see cartoon 40 minutes only at most everyday.

"Mom, I see one small meeting again, this cartoon is too good-looking! With respect to one small conference! " Le Le is in beg mom.

"Be no good, time had arrived! " mom say.

"But, I had expected this cartoon very long, if do not look, I am meal of not feel like eating! " Le Le still is not willing to put out TV.

"Good, see one small meeting, with respect to this, not to be repeated! " the eyes that mom sees the child yearns for, not give the heart to refuses, agreed.

Every time Le Le is not willing toe the mark when, can beg mother all the time, usually, mom can choose compromise.

If mom does not have compromise, the intrigue that Le Le cries to be troubled by greatly greatly with respect to meeting exert, agree till mom till.

In mom mouth " with respect to this " , " not to be repeated " , do not stop actually, such circumstance without number.

As parents, we always are very the wish that naturally wishs to satisfy the child, hope child is happy and happy.

But, this kind in order to destroy regulation, perhaps be troubled by to prevent the child to cry come for cost the behavior of please child, although short-term inside can make the child very happy, also can bring to our family brief harmony and quiet, but, long-term will tell is to go against the child to grow.

Regular consciousness, it is to point to hair from the heart, the consciousness that is him action criterion with regulation, it is to point to to will be changed inside regulation at the heart, embedded subconscious, a kind of behavior that need not think again is used to. For instance, we abide by traffic can self-consciously to queue up regularly, self-consciously, go self-consciously learning etc.

The backside that we often interpret rule is free, have toe the mark only, behavior ability somewhat attrib border, ability lets child nurturance be benefited the good deed habit of lifetime, a child that do as one wants is impossible to gain real freedom.

Parents drafted regulation, destroyed regulation with one's own hands again, can let the child feel regulation is not important only, those who do not have a meaning, need not go learning to abide by, can follow one's inclinations want to do what how do. The action that can allow the child only lacks border, cannot form clear regular consciousness.

The child can leave parents to move toward a society sooner or later, live impossibly below parental assistant forever, parents always compromises to the child to go after short-term effect, can let the child lose study how to answer difficult opportunity.

Face the life alone when the child when, if all round the person puts forward crosscurrent to him, when perhaps pleasing him without the person, the child can have serious frustrate feeling.

Some parents think, the nature after the child is grown can learn how to face a setback, this is a kind of good imagination only actually, if be when the child is small, parents did not say to the child " not " courage, the child cannot learn to face disappointment forever, cannot have the capacity that fight defeat truly, when facing a setback, can be at a loss only.

Parental compromise exposes the state of mind that those who go out is a kind of lowliness, it is right oneself, right the child, right regular do not respect, this kind of state of mind can be tried very easily to use by child detection.

The child can feel parents is insufficient even wisdom, in parents of inner look down upon, also can use this to control parents, make parents afflictive, let parents listen to them.

More serious is, be brought up when the child, arrived adolescence, parents can lose pair of children completely possibly to command force.

Appropriate association of parents lets what the child pays close attention to him only experience with the desire, let the child feel the meaning of life depends on him wanting how with respect to how, and won't go considering real case, also do not know consider for other.

In sharing collective life when the child when, can appear the case that cannot cooperate with other, the opinion of inexorable others, can feel only oneself are right, people should listen his, if this purpose cannot be reached, the child can feel very lose, very get hurt.

Parents should have pair of children to say " not " courage.

Parents should accomplish esteem child, allow the child to express his opinion, but, face the unreasonable requirement that the child raises, parents should say gentle and sturdily " not " , let the child realise the border of behavior, establish regular consciousness.

When because do not have,be satisfied when the child and crying to be troubled by greatly greatly, parents should admit the child's mood, understand the child, put forward reasonable, the desire that constructive opinion will satisfy the child.

Can say to the child: "Father mother knows you think very much... , but... , be inferior to... "

Parents is OK and timely shift a topic, the attention of dispersive child, win the child's cooperation thereby. For instance, can play the game that he likes together with the child, perhaps put forward to let the child help do a significant issue to wait a moment.

We are not all demands that say to want to reject the child at will, the desire that says to become the child however, requirement and regular photograph are inimical, perhaps do not accord with circumstances, we must have judgement capacity, and have say " not " courage.

-- " the child: Challenge "

Hello! I am lily mom, 80 hind Mom of duty field treasure, yo amount to a person, much platform autograph makes an appointment with an author. Have deep love for read, code word, like motion, trip. My life concept is " go up hall hall, the kitchen is gotten below, do wisdom treasure Mom " . Daily share me to be in with you Yo the sensation of the results on the road and grow! The article that likes me nods assist, attention, transmit please! You have what Yo result and experience, also welcome to leave a message, share together with everybody!