"Fish to Sunday! Did not get along? Did not get along??
"You want to let me do what! Go shopping with you? Go shopping with you??
"Do you see I shop only? I cleared away house of a day, you are lost sight of is! You are lost sight of is!!
...
"Sign up for an English class to the child bad? "Sign up for an English class to the child bad??
"Learned what the school teachs enough, sign up for dancing class! Those who listen to me! Those who listen to me!!
"Competition is much more intense now! Making up a missed lesson, our child also cannot fall! Our child also cannot fall!!
"Go squeezing that single-plank bridge to work! Be inferior to drilling a good body! I did not squeeze that single-plank bridge at the outset, am I poor now? Am I poor now??
...
"Bureau of this kind of meal should go far from! Do not know you are thinking what! Do not know you are thinking what!!
"The family calls me designedly, how does have the nerve refuse? How does have the nerve refuse??
"You are shabby-genteel! "You are shabby-genteel!!
...
Before 1. marriage, two people are charming to each other, available be about to be attracted together, otherwise dispute does cannot thing, can push, the what interest that includes an individual ah, hobby, also can put down, it is the most important to be waited for together only;
After marrying, mean two people to wanted to be together forever, so, together this desire came true, so, be about to give birth to other desire, for instance: Off hours wants to do a thing that he is interested in, resemble in front mentioned fishing and shop, the interest of these two people is different, time grows, begin to complain each other, produced contradiction.
2. the growing experience of two people is different, accumulates experience of life is different, encounter a problem, the experience that can take out oneself handles an issue, cause the reason that says each each;
Of the woman grow, the likelihood is in order to learn skill kind give priority to; Growing experience of the man, the likelihood is to rely on to learn to count manage to change go all out all the way come over, they teach the child with their experience, look to also do not have a fault, just differ because of their personal growth.
3. the gregarious kind of two people is different, make when be contacted with the society, cannot bear the sight of each other friend circle each other, or the means making friend that is deprecatory the other side;
The woman thinks, make friend want lay one's heart bare, disapprove of fair-weather friend, more deprecatory to support outer part, go handling the person with one not quite ripe desk; The man feels however, mix socially, be about to blend in all sorts of circle, the family will invite, give outer part namely, without the principle that does not follow.
1. knows each other interest interest
When Tan Lian loves, the interest that knows the other side is liked really very be necessary, not be to a view cries " can develop continuously " , love also needs to be able to develop continuously, two people are together for a long time, have the interest interest of agree with each other, conduce to emotive is deepened and last.
2. understands each other growing experience
When Tan Lian loves, do not pay close attention to the condition of instantly of the other side only, understand the growing experience of past of the other side even, because of the childhood of a person experience can decide way of grown the following act, affect lifetime all the time even.
3. knows each other way that make friend
Know a person, the friend group that can carry him will observe and be analysed, things of one kind come together, person with group cent, the person ability of be congenial to becomes a friend; Also can adopt the way that makes friend, what is knowing the thing that values to place of the other side.
Discover after marriage often dissension, if why be handled?Two people that live for a long time together, the think of a way of impossible what thing is same, see difference is normal of purpose, want to maintain good marital relationship, do not have necessary at every turn to unite an opinion, OK also seek common points while reserving difference ah, perhaps withhold an opinion first, wait for observation for some time redo decision, say these are saying to difference nevers mind namely actually, if why handle difference,just be a key.
So, how to handle difference? Look below do these 3 respects say so that have a reason?
1. unites an opinion
Can unified opinion is best, namely two people are passed discuss, reach unanimous opinion.
For instance the example in front, the man wants to fish on the weekend, the woman hopes the man accompanies him to shop, still hope man and oneself partake housework. Two people should sit, speak oneself idea and opinion calmly.
Through discussing, the woman does not want the job of completely negative fishing, can recognize the advantage of fishing first, make allowances for a man to be able to alleviate through fishing actuating pressure, just hope the man can use the time that fishs partly in the family;
The man also does not cannot bear the sight of a woman to shop, what should make allowances for a woman to do chore more is painstaking, allow one condition appropriately next, proper arrangement time does a few chore, brush the ground for instance, look after children, two people buy dish to wait together, now and then also accompany a woman to shop.
If can remove one condition each, problem can be readily solved.
2. seek common points while reserving difference
The meaning of seek common points while reserving difference includes each other namely, accept the other side and oneself different place each other, for two the individual's future, include each other difference.
For instance husband and wife two, one is Sichuan person, one is Cantonese, since did husband and wife, have certainly be approbated to each other and adore, this is begged namely with; But two people because the difference of district is very big, a lot of habits are completely different, does that want how to do?
Like changing after impossible marriage, of course, also the habits and customs that some people can get used to other one party quickly; But major such circumstance, it is to include each other the difference of the other side, know you love to eat hot, I can prepare for you hot, but I love to eat sweet, when you also are ordering meal, considering my taste.
3. withholds an opinion, wait to observe redo decides after period of time
This say is the meaning that indulges each other, have different opinion, do not ask to solve first, lay aside the problem for some time, see its development and result, next farewell crosses a head to analyse summary.
For instance in front the thing of the saying way that make friend, the man likes to know a friend through meal bureau, the woman likes to pass through friend of associate with of lay one's heart bare. Press friend of oneself means associate with as both sides, not necessary the means that pressing a person only is done.
Perhaps pass period of time, two people can discover, the friend that the man knows on meal bureau, it is OK to was become finally the friend of lay one's heart bare; The woman passes the friend of associate with of lay one's heart bare, also constituent meal bureaus, development becomes fair-weather friend.
Come so, had turned round to sum up at the outset difference, gotten verdict is: Whose means also is not absolutely good absolutely perhaps bad, so, should decide oneself issue according to his social condition, if feel to cannot bear the sight of the means of the other side, also do not importune the other side to change, had better be to indulge the other side.
