[on July 17]
Lulu one big advantage is: Be in adverse in the experience with hardship indomitable.
Have a batch of such parents, the achievement of their child is in class be among the best of candidates, it is the good student in teacher classmate eye. They have deep love for study, brave is contended for the first, the Na Genxian in brain of hour take up, plan a fight at any time. Say according to manage, such child needs the parent to worry about least of all, consciousness of so called competition appears to need not be fostered, him child can want to rush forth.
But the trouble that these parents also have him:
The child always gives him too much pressure for good achievement
Exam achievement has a bit do not cry greatly flexibly
Listen not to get the criticism of others
Do not wish to face up to oneself mistake
. . . . . .
Parents want to admit, present child and before is different. We went to school in the past, exercise amount is not large, can play with young associate everyday very long, father mother also won't is in charge of too much. As the child, we care achievement, but can not regarding it as is the most important thing in life, competitive consciousness is not strong. But promote at full speed in educational level today, the child's education is first class important matter of parents, the importance of achievement has add without decrease, the attention that right study is spent rise, child nature also understood to study a good result in such atmosphere, be being done more outstandingly than others is an amazing thing.
And, the child self-awareness nowadays is general very strong, they are having extremely strong proper pride, longing gives out his sound to this world.
But proper pride is too intense not be meddlesome. The backside that children develop forth desperately is to fear to lag behind, it is the fact that does not wish to accept oneself to fail, so they can keep running only. But which somebody can achieve forever success? And come when the setback, how will these children do again?
Parents want to let the child become outstanding, want to make him successful, this give no cause for more criticism. But the dynamic that lets the child have advancement at the same time, want to let him have the courage that place rests to back down even as much. Competitive consciousness wants to have, but be thwarted ability also wants to have. The trouble of these parents results from just about the lack that fosters to ability of child be thwarted.
A child that has capacity of good be thwarted resembles tumbler, cannot accomplish forever stand erect, but won't topple absolutely however. If ability of your child be thwarted is good, he can have such show:
1. dares to admit and face up to a mistake
In his heart, everybody can err, err not to represent oneself not outstanding. Treating a mistake is not to be denied blindly, search an account however, sum up a lesson, regard the mistake as oneself experience.
2. dares to had come afresh
Having the state of mind that sets out afresh is very god-given. The child with be thwarted good ability can not regard failure return origin, he believes he still is obtaining certain progress in the failure before, just to ultimate goal, foregoing methods are not optimal choice.
3. waits for support of the people be apt to, be good at listening attentively to
The National People's Congress that does not accept failure listens to must not be criticized and suggest more. Contrary, the child with good ability of a be thwarted needs a person more genial, they are willing to listen attentively to different opinion, although some opinions and oneself are complete contrary, he also is met consider sth as it stands, do not rise to assault and battery. Think to these are evaluated and suggest to be not ill will when him when, what reason goes rejecting to listen attentively to?
4. reason is optimistic, the heart is powerful
Actually, truly outstanding person is the person with powerful heart, their reason and sensibility coexist. Incorrect this world is done blame is black evaluate in vain namely. He can do rational assessment to the setback, in not be immersed in exceeding remorse, be however in continuous put oneself through the mill is clearer oneself direction. Such person you are to hit what do not pour him.
The father Wang Wei of potato net received a tremendous setback 2012. This year, he missed the perfect opportunity that appear on the market, potato net is actorred or actress cruel is bought accordingly. This year, he is 38 years old, grey flying smoke destroys between the Caesarean dream instantly that builds likely originally. To Everyman, this is a huge blow.
But he was not defeated, he chooses to go round-the-world trip, europe, Australia, Japan. . . . . . Kept his track. In the journey of this half an year, wang Wei found the turning point of another life. 2013, wang Wei conceives the fund that putting 100 million dollars, open the brigade of the animation that chase after light. He encountered a setback again, " gate god " leave high low go, " Atangji is encountered " " cat and peach blossom source " box-office and gloomy, until " genesis of white snake · " just received high public praise.
Dare not say, wang Wei has many before these setbacks dauntless, but Mr.now thinks, the state of mind that Wang Wei faces a setback is very god-given. In oneself no longer 38 years old of young choices set out afresh, change another life to road, need enough courage.
We hope admittedly the child's future a light, but when we hope the child can handle night in the body more, also put have the eye that searchs light. So, to the parent, ferial li of education that should notice ability of pair of child be thwarted.
1. reduces setback angst of the child
Cite a case, ground of child scamper about goes forth, one not careful trip. This moment, the parent does not want the urgent inquiry before going up, show very afraid expression. Encourage the child to trying to stand up however, after examining feeling (below not severe case) tell him to do not have a thing. Otherwise the child can magnify because of the parent's care oneself ache and grievance, as time passes cannot bear a bit setback.
2. avoids overprotection
The child's ability is the forecast that exceeds his sometimes. Let the child boldly solve a problem, do not want ground of a head to pull come over, not be " side " in that way however " replaces " . The parent can let the child solve a few simple problems first, strengthen the difficulty of the task stage by stage again, want to let the child believe, he can be accomplished.
3. offers proper clew and help
When solving a few more difficult problems, the parent should offer the child clew and help appropriately, supply one fraction only every time, let him child think how to should be done next, become difficulty jump the job that can finish. Such his meetings have huge safety to feel, also be willing to face.
4. makes the child much be contacted with the person
Easy defect is in dissocial child oneself microcosmic in, in that way the setback became a very large issue. Make he and others much contact only, enlarge the world in his acknowledge, the setback just won't be held all. The association with the person also can develop his communication ability, be willing to pour out to also be willing to listen attentively to, when encountering a setback, he just has the export that seeks a help.
Discuss now:
Face a setback, how is your child handled?
