Destroy a child, pay no attention to him 3 times enough_News

Civil | Water lubricious · advocate sow | Lin Jing

Before two days, I take a daughter went hand of a DIY makes experience shop.

After accompanying a daughter to pick good stuff, I sit seeing her make aside.

At this moment, drew my attention of adjacent desk to mother and daughter.

Little girl is taking a string of hand chain that made an in part, in spirits ground asks mother: "Mom, do you see me are such collocation good-looking? Do you see me are such collocation good-looking??

Mom is looking at a mobile phone attentively, finger is nodded rapidly on screen, face the daughter's inquiry, she appears to did not hear.

The girl lowers her head not language, passed a little while, be full of again expect ground collect arrives beside mom: "Mom, is the hand chain that I make good-looking? Is the hand chain that I make good-looking??

Mom nods perfunctorily, but the line of sight had not left a mobile phone all the time.

Little girl one face lose, the movement in the hand comes down slow also.

In a few minutes, she gives the hand chain that has worn to mom again in front of, ask in a low voice: "Mom, do you look like? Do you look like??

Mom raises a head unconcernedly, some are impatient: "Mom is occupied, yourself plays! Yourself plays!!

Little girl was stupefied, the instant became red orbit, swing hand cable length toward the table suddenly next, cry aloud: "I did not want to play! "I did not want to play!!

Mom has answered a god to come eventually, did not notice the daughter's grievance however, feel she is impenetrable instead: "Bad to come home amusedly! "Bad to come home amusedly!!

Say to had had a daughter, go to the doorway.

Look at the back that little girl twitchs because of crying, I am ineffable feel to feel distressed:

First and last, her mom is not clear, the daughter's disposition and tear, be from why and come.

Perhaps, a bit what she just needs momAttentionWith affirmation; Perhaps, she is to want to think her nevertheless good thing, share together with the mom that loves most.

But, the negligence of mom again and again and desolate, resemble a cold water, the bit by bit is irrigated destroyed her heart yearns for mediumly, those lose, grievance and helpless, make her mood collapses finally.

In the life, such setting is too much.

"Wait " " I am in busy " " not irritated I " " oneself play go " ...

When busying, not satisfactory when, when getting angry, these speech, it is us most often say to the child.

Psychology has a word to cry " existence sex angst " , it is to show what does without exposition and argumentation when the child, parents is a kind of inhospitality and perfunctory manner, the child can feel, oneself feel without existence, be not loved.

Have nothing to do with twice probably, but the time is much, the sort of be disregarded, outcast feeling, enough destroys a child.

Before before long, nanjing 10 years old of boys run away from home, wander to be discovered by the policeman in subway mouth.

Via be informed after the inquiry, he has left not merely 10, and the reason is unexpectedly work simply all the day because of pa Mom or play a mobile phone, nobody pay attention to he.

In boy eye, parents cares him as the policeman even.

Know on have a problem: Be often ignored what to experience be by parents?

One answers advocate say:

This kind of feeling is too familiar, because be experienced all the time as a child, think back to every time rise to shudder, resembling is to have a very blunt knife, keep delimiting on the body, won't bleed, but keenly feel is very real.

Her memory says:

Mom every time when the mood is bad, arrive with respect to can automatic switch the condition that ignores her.

Talk with her, pay no attention to; Shop to her, not; Make up to to her, go directly...

As time passes, she formed flattery character, and accompanying thought extreme, love get into a dead end, the opinion that won't express oneself, won't handle human relation, fear to err, cowardly wait for very negative nature.

Institute of psychology of Chinese Academy of Sciences once was opposite151A children made investigation of a questionnaire.

Result discovery: Mistreat in the body, affection is mistreated, in the gender is mistreated and disregarding this 4 old rough stuff, "Negligence " bring about children the possibility of depressed angst is the largest.

Wu Zhigong says: "Without the response, the home also is hopeless situation. The home also is hopeless situation..

Perhaps the child cannot understand parental expression, but parental ignore can let the child feel: Original, I not so important.

This kind " cold force " , more terrible than beating and scold the child, it gives the child the psychological scar that cause, it is likely all one's life.

Everybody yearns for inherently byAttention, especially the child.

When if be in,the child needs you most, you do not have timely response, the time is much, disappointed save money is enough, he also needs you no longer.

The film " dog 13 " in, plum the father that play once promise should take her to see astronomy exhibit, took her that day however went meal bureau.

Soon time pulls later more, father however of daughter of a bit ignore deeply worried and beg, still care nothing the ground speaks before everybody: "The person's thing has not figured out, still see astronomy exhibit? Still see astronomy exhibit??

Li Wansheng is extremely angry, run alone planetarium, discover however close a shop already.

Perhaps, she is right father's disappointment, wherefrom rises momently, already did assemble fall?

Because be ignored, the dog that she places all affection in her " Einstein " go up personally.

Dogginess is missing later, all lose and disappointment are ignited completely, she also breaks down in the instant.

Actually a lot of moment, of the child " disturb " just want to get parents' simple response, because this is being represented,care is mixed take seriously.

Singer Chen Meiling, it is the mom of brilliant student of 3 Stanford college, in her educational secretary book, have attached most importance to especially at 2 o'clock should:

One, not because of working oversight child

No matter much busier, before sleeping everyday, she can accompany the child play fishing game, even if have 5 minutes only, also be heaven to the child.

2, when child ask a question, won't let him forever " wait a moment "

Although she is cooking food, will ask her when the child " mom, why is the day blue? Why is the day blue??

She also is met put out fire for a short while, response child: "Ask really well, we seek the solution together! We seek the solution together!!

Timely response of parents, what protected the child already is curious desire, also gave the child full safe sense: I am taken seriously, I am loved.

Ma Yi also Ceng Fawen reviews him to did not give the child sufficient affection response:

"I am in foolish independent Yo below the concept, after insisting to be asleep in her, even if he was asleep to also can awake to hold her in the arms in the middle of the night,answer small bed...

The Yo in those days the concept is to train independence as a child more ah, defer is contented ah, the setback is taught, looking now is a bullshit completely!

Satisfy the more clearly depend on feeling, the more infantile period gets the child of sufficient affection response, grown ability can have safe feeling, ability to become independent truly! Grown ability can have safe feeling, ability to become independent truly!!

The antonym of love is not hate, be forgotten however and oversight.

Of parents see and respond to, what can make the child sufficient enjoy love is alimentary, give the child independence and brave bottom energy of life.

Treat the child, most avoid " have nothing to do response " .

The child's for instance beloved pet was lost, died, the child obviously very sad, you have nothing to do however the ground says the difficulties: "Do not have a thing, we buy again. We buy again..

Timely response, also do not mean: What does the child want, what do I give him immediately.

"Have nothing to do response " let the child feel, his feeling is not admitted and understand, do not wish to open one's mind from now on;

Do not divide circumstance ground to close completely according to sheet to the child's demand, can make dispute of child difficult differentiate, ignore regular.

Proper response, should be the angle that stands in the child, listen attentively to his aspirations, affirm his mood, use the attitude of gentle equality next, guide his toe the mark, society to await.

On this, of Hu Ke " I know " sentence type is person place commend all the time:

When the son wants to take away the toy that does not belong to his, hu Ke says:

"I know you very want this toy, take now do not come home, in your heart a bit sad, but this is regular. But this is regular..

Because fear to cry,come out from water fort when the son when, hu Ke still embrace a son for a short while:

"I know you fear a bit, but your show is very very good, brave, did you insist to come down to be opposite incorrect? Did you insist to come down to be opposite incorrect??

" I know " , let the child experience the understanding that comes from mom and care.

" but " , let the child understand not all requirement, what can get others is contented.

More important is, mom is seasonableAttentionWith lukewarm response, let the child know: No matter what produce, mom is together with him all the time.

" the route that rare person takes " in say:

The education that is full of love is brought lucky, the education that lacks love can bring about misfortune only.

Be full of the parents of love, be good at examining the child's requirement, make reason, objective judgement.

Response child, it is so difficult to be done not have really.

Want us to be willing to crouch only, the eye that uses the child goes viewing this world, spend enough idea to understand the child's aspirations.

When the child's existence feeling, safe feeling gets satisfaction, he won't pester parents to ask for all the time.

So, whenever, when the child needs you, do not want ignore please he.

Because, in the child's world, parental response, it is the most pleasant sound forever.

Can listen to children story freely

- - of musical & picture

Background music | " midnight sunshine " " must happy "

Picture origin | The part comes from visual China