You and your spouse is pestered together it seems that, you are not willing twice to shrink back, say frankly to another. This is a quite insignificant matter, invite kin to go the baby of the cousin bathes. You do not want to invite the elder sister of your spouse, because of her apt loosens fun, you are unthinkable what she and you plan is foolish baby theme game plays together. Your spouse holds to opposite point of view, compensatory say not to invite her the crack with the familial impossible generation of meeting and the others. The controversy should grow of the imagination more than you, but you are determined to win a victory.
Can be in at issue the one side that wins a victory is a kind of capability that needs a few exercises. If you were used to stamp, p mouth, perhaps give adversary chill shoulder, you may discover these babyish methods are not effective. Leibniz-Institut Fur Wissensmedien (root of German graph guest) with the colleague (2018) the research of Katharina Bernecker investigated husband and wife how does the relation target in long-term relationship affect them the blame utterance during conflict communicates. Adopt the so-called method in comparative relation and evasive target, the person such as Bernecker believes they can cast the fashion obverse side that the partner communicates through limbs language or negative news. Apparent, communicate positive news to should conduce to the satisfaction that improves to be spent to conflict result and overall and long-term satisfaction spending.
Berneker of no less than and her researcher place observes, it is very important that attention is not a language to communicate, because " blame language expression and language content photograph are compared, be controlled of purpose lesser, the report that and be considered as people normally experiences in the real feeling in specific lot or relation " (the 1st page) . They conclude, how does affirmatory relation target affect blame utterance behavior to should have important sense to understanding the spouse of a pair of couples how can more satisfactory. The impact of Germany that considers to include partner of 368 opposite sexes at least one year, some are as long as 60 years. Average relation length is 21 years, the average age of example is 48 years old. Accordingly, these people devote oneself to to unite apparently, and as the elapse of time each other are having quite rich experience.
The attention key of the person such as Berneker. Of research is the circumstance of the interaction in the research spouse intense concern between them. The most frequent conflict type is involved communicate, but the two finance affairs in copartner mix husband and wife to be used to a respect annoyingly abhorrent also. Their interacting is in blame language by observer communication domain undertakes kinescope and grading, include the head to locate (face towards or be far from a spouse) , head start (like nod or shake his head) , countenance (smile or frown) , truncal whirl (face towards or be far from the other side) , the upper part of the body tilts (inclined or forward bend is erect) , arm position (open or fold) and feel a quantity. Before communication.
Place of author of no less than forecasts in that way, the husband and wife that wants the relationship that promotes them through motive shows more active blame language to communicate, the person with evasive preference is not language ground more likely to exit and show take an active part in inferiorly. The author thinks, be in evasive model motive backside of the individual, think conflict is the menace to the relation, is not the opportunity that deepens a relation further.
Talk about the problem that how wins victory in these conflict now, german research shows all these is concerned with motive. Although you and you do not have the person of romanticism to produce brawl, you also cannot rely on your means to go only, want to enjoy the result that improves a relation however. Considering this, see these 10 strategy now:
1.The attempt is arranged face-to-face discuss. The research of the person such as Berneker makes clear, be not verbal intercourse to having main effect in resolving conflict. Although only Skype communicates, through seeing someone else, let this person see you, also can help you make than email or text information more spots are adjusted.
2.When right time and place. Because you can meet personally better, is not to adopt written written language, call even, should talk time so in order to allow enough communicate face-to-face, so that can perforative and whole argument.
3.What paying close attention to is important. Enterprising motive is the main factor that German husband and wife studies. Perceiving conflict is the chance that increase and enhances the connection with someone else, may conduce to drive blame utterance behavior to develop to more positive direction.
4.With " I " the viewpoint that allegation will come to convey you. This is the well-known strategy in communication of husband and wife, OK at any controversies applying, is the controversy in long-term and romantic relationship not just. You avoid to pass allegation yourself to let another person be in defense position to the view of this kind of circumstance.
5.Listen attentively to the viewpoint of other. You want to win this debate, but not be the story that missing yourself, listen the think of a way of other however. You may discover you and do not have too much different idea, but from the point of strategic angle, this also can let you plan the road of your victory.
6.Forecast the crosscurrent of the other side. If you settle dispute correctly, you can have discharged your adversary presumable to complain ahead of schedule. This will let you think how the case that best shows you.
7.Avoid to atttack your adversary. The language of a few negative bodies that observes in the person such as Berneker considers to also can apply to general argument. Verbal attack can rise counteractive, because they can make another person angry,; is not language attack to be able to have same result.
8.Prepare to make small concession. What can the opponent that casts you when you say, when the true think of a way that listens he or her with a kind of open manner next, you can enter this kind of state, prepare those who put forward to be able to be accepted for you to replace a plan.
9.With indifferent clique tests your idea to coming. In the setting that bathes in that baby, only you have this kind of feeling to cousin. If your reaction is excessive, ask another relative, if be if, best according to measure 8 make concession.
10.Won when you, you will be very glad. If everything undertakes by the plan, you will win a debate, conflict will get settlement. It is you and your spouse to retain the power of this kind of method, make a very good motion. The next time, who won the partner that it may be you, you can admire of course same response.
Parameter need not erode a relation. Avoiding them is not the optimal way with the powerful relationship that maintains you it seems that. If you according to these measure efficient participate in, walk on for a long time of you and your partner can be benefited soon.
