You are told sell continuously, obviously very reasonable, the other side however not buy it, be to be troubled by what kind of?
You are told sell continuously, obviously very reasonable,
The other side however not buy it, be to be troubled by what kind of?
You feel you say rightly, and does the other side stand completely however in opposite position? Is this why?
In communicate, we often encounter such hour: "I had been told very clearly obviously, and I am told is right, very objective also, but the other side is not approbated namely, how should this do? " encounter this kind of moment, we need to accomplish " argue of influence and rather than " .
What is inference a flight of stairs
Inference a flight of stairs, it is the theory of the acknowledge that psychology uses at explaining a person and behavior generation process. Psychologist discovery, such formation of the person's acknowledge and behavior: Observe first a few information; Among them some of information can be ignored, and the attention that some information can arouse a person all the more, this chooses information namely; These information that people comes out to the choice, meet those who have oneself unscramble, this is the process that treatment ponders over; After thinking, people can get the verdict that gives his normally; This conclusion can conduct the person's operation then.
So why can people form different acknowledge? Say simply even if not be the other side. Cite a simple case: Sale associate Xiaoli moves a mom to live in recently. The neighbour king aunt of mom home, there is bit of allergy to installing benefit career before, she sees Xiaoli moves mom home, think in the heart, "Look, do An Liguo to be no good like that, this estimation sold even him house do not have a place to live. " king aunt passes observed information, unscramble through oneself reached conclusion is " do bring profit not bad, stable " . What is that fact? The fact is Xiaoli what outstanding achievement did last year is pretty good, changed a big house, during decorating, live in mom home temporarily.
From this example we can see, same an information, but both sides observes and try after choice, treatment thinks completely different, the conclusion that reachs finally and adopted action are more possible disparate! Of course this is not fathomless also -- logic of the angle of the information that masters because of both sides, attention, footing, experience, viewpoint of value, thinking differs etc. A word, each person is independence is individual, the train of thought with so disparate generation and conclusion also are normal actually. And people is persistent at him idea, the think of a way that because this thinks,changes a person actually very difficult. In actual life should have this everybody a lot of experience.
How to affect each other
After knowing inference a flight of stairs is academic, can be we made in communicate what kind of adjust? When remembering having difference when the other side and you above all, fasten rapid move to convince each other first, can ponder over a few problems according to order however:
① what is his viewpoint?
② how is his point of view formed?
Any ③ viewpoints are to have " truth " . Either saying is right certainly, however it is right that the other side can feel, so people is to his view very importunate.
④ this " truth " not be you certainly want in that way, because we often stand in our angle,see a problem.
Adopt such measure, you can undertake brand-new reflection, and the idea that should invite opposite party produces a change, have two requirement:
? Know the other side, input new information then.
Pass query, listen respectfully for instance, understand the true opinion of the other side and requirement carefully. Avoid by all means comes up to use the reasonable, means that persuade, having a method is to be used less " me " , multi-purpose " you " , talk around the other side. In addition, new information, those who point to is the other side did not notice, but concern with him, the information that he cares about, the information that he had not heard of and rather than. Then above mentioned case, when king aunt asks Xiaoli directly, how can Xiaoli reply?
King aunt: "Xiaoli, how are you moved live with your mom? So managing get along? So managing get along??
Xiaoli: "King aunt, I changed a house decorating, this paragraph of time come back to shack. This paragraph of time come back to shack..
King aunt: "Oh, change a house? Is before live well? Is before live well??
Xiaoli: "What my outstanding achievement did last year is pretty good, changed so of big drop stand by downtown, such jobs rise to also go to the lavatory. Such jobs rise to also go to the lavatory..
King aunt: "Downtown? Fierce. Fierce..
? Let him think, oneself conclude.
Psychologist research, when with the other side when you reasonable, strive convinces each other, the other side also is thinking how to can refute you is not to accept you. In working so when if encounter you to say the other side is jumped over more,be not being accepted, do not blame opposite party first, used the means that too much preach manages probably to concern with you. We catch the example above to look:
King aunt: "I still should bring profit washed-up, not be on the net all the time somebody tells. Not be on the net all the time somebody tells..
Xiaoli: "King aunt, you see me a few years this, also do not calculate those who do excellently actually, but stabler, and be sending exhibition period, slowly may betterer. Was opposite king aunt, turn round I had been decorated, welcome you and my Mom to still have old neighbour people a past be a guest! Welcome you and my Mom to still have old neighbour people a past be a guest!!
King aunt: "Hey You that how have the nerve? "Hey You that how have the nerve??
Xiaoli: "I know you hutch art is top-ranking, I there hutch defends articles for use is brand-new, later you went, can make an expert food to everybody, let big guy leave open one's eyes! Let big guy leave open one's eyes!!
King aunt: "Ha, good ah. Good ah..
Everybody looks, xiaoli did not refute king aunt to think to bring the point of view with bad benefit directly, it is good to also did not try to emphasize installing benefit to have many, pass him outstanding achievement however pretty good, change big house, and invite a lot of people one case conditionally the means such as be a guest, passed new information, and pass these information, let king him aunt arise think, conclude. Actually, communication influence has a lot of methods and skill in the technology, in follow-up content we can make detailed introduction for everybody.
Tell here, we give " influence " next definition: So-called effect, when be being communicated namely, not have the aid of is one-way persuade or the means of argue, help the other side sees and ponder over a few different point of view however, let the other side be happy to accept the information that you pass, also communicate next dozen of foundations for bilateral follow-up
