Face pressure and adverse circumstance, some people sell in friend circle miserable, some person misfortune are depressed, end oneself life even.
If business of plead for mercy for sb is the ability that gets along with other, that goes against business is the ability that gets along with oneself. Face adverse circumstance, not easily character is abandoned, cannot show off blindly more. Put down face, ability faces inner acknowledge continuously; Reject to hold to blindly, the society reconciles with reality.
1
"Can carry a thing " insufficient also
Still should have enough go against business high
Someone says, there is a lot of on the world outstanding person, but can carry the person that got a thing rarely.
But actually " can carry a thing " insufficient also, tell with popular saying, should make have enough go against business high.
There is a medic friend beside, her course arrives more suffocative come, still ask oneself do scientific research however, busy mass organizations. Sleep only everyday to final month on 4, 5 hours, prepare scientific research paper to publish even. If the final result in story of all encourage annals is same, she always can be in each to be taken enough good achievement.
Such pressure are enormous and busy day, she every semester wants experience to arrive twice, never resemble others selling in friend circle euqally however miserable. Later, she is like the Offer that wished to take American top university eventually.
Everybody is sighing with emotion her outstanding and carry pressure when capability is strong, transmit her to be by diagnose however the serious and depressed, message that must lay aside school work.
Everybody very astonish, everybody did not think of so hopeful the girl that spells interest can suffer from on this psychology disease. By diagnose she sent ring of a friend that evening:
Get Guo Qunshan more 10 thousand big pool, won 1000 army 10 thousand horses, forget oneself to take one party scope of operation alone alone.
Do not lack the person that can carry a thing, it is too much person was carried instead thing, cannot get along well with oneself however.
And those people that never break down, the heart knows clearly, what are oneself afraid of.
Already hundreds research makes clear, no matter child child still grows up, should realise negative event is not personification only, also be not nowhere to be absent, more won't permanent put add, suffer from depressed possibility to be able to be reduced, also overcome adversity quickly.
The true person that go against business high, can share namely clear reality and visional person. In other words, can share what pressure is actual existence clear, him illusion comes out what pressure, jump out " 3 elements " the person of odd group.
2
It clear what look in pressure is more important that clear what looks in pressure
Daring to accept or reject just is Gao Ni business
First phase " round-table clique " medium discussion about going against business topic, have a such words: Person actually in the final analysis two things are the most important, can keep the pot boiling, arrange the intention that does not arrange oneself.
Compere explanation says: "I won't want to do the business that I am not willing to work of course, you force me to do the business that I am not willing to do, I am not done of course. But, I still am measured first, this standard of living can maintain that is to say, can carry with respect to me. Can carry with respect to me..
Alleged " busy streets of broken sunshade Yan Guo, leakage boat carries wine extensive midstream " , adversity crosses a river as sitting in broken boat, cross a river for safety, what does your must abandon.
Have pressure, in the final analysis, because the person can fear to fail and be lost,also be, fail to also assign weight however, pressure also divides emergency.
And the person that go against business high, it is the person that dares to accept or reject before adversity.
Writer Bi Shumin is in " the 2nd volunteer " in write, the choice of life is absolutely little it is exclusive. People often is in full attention centrally the first volunteer on.
"Be in oneself destiny detain when gamble ground a certain ' exclusive ' on the head when, we are in actually ego closes and deeply worried the condition that does not have foreword. What inner shedding drips is self-abased and frail.
Think to have this narrow way only, just be the single-plank bridge that reachs destination, cannot imagine fall in another case, still have way passable and current. Still have way passable and current..
Search the 2nd volunteer, also be new to oneself discovery. The choice tries hard, should see this direction clear suit his really in effort more, capacity limits internal energy achieves perfection, also be the expression that goes against business high.
Before certain adversity " lower one's head " , just be the way that picked an outflank, achieve same eye punctuation.
3
See face than what again
It is the prime criminal that destroys a person to face adversity courage
When going to school, always can meet unexpectedly such a few students: The problem always is very much, finish class to pestering a teacher to ask, give the teacher not only ask irritated, more embarrassed is, some problems still are blamed by the teacher too too simple, it is to be between billow take time simply.
They know dead truth, do not understand even if do not understand, must make the issue so that connect just be free from anxiety in the heart fully.
More people, it is to having askinging to nod again and again below the condition that still does not know, the appearance that pretends to understand completely, "I do not want to be thought by the teacher very clumsy. "I do not want to be thought by the teacher very clumsy..
But feedback of long study result can show, learn not to understand not to wriggle, do not understand install clumsy knowing ability.
Someone says, modern what is good, it is too good outer part, know perfectly well oneself washed-up, carry even forcedly, carry to finally to break down also want set sb's teeth not to agree give the impression of weakness appeals, be born forcedly be born to just agree him hold back to stop to death.
Alleged adversity, too much be impassable, alleged " fail " bank, it is to be in the face wrestle that follows oneself.
American psychologist once had done such test -- a husky fellow traverses on the driveway that jam blocks up and pass, the car that is willing to give way to him is less than 50 ％ ; A troops make up of the old and weak person cross driveway, everybody avoids in succession let, feel oneself were to do thing of be apt to, traffic accident occurence rate is almost 0.
Weak with strong, in the effect polarity that some kind of moment receives: Got instead infirmly strong, strong be in weak force instead.
A lot of moment, admit oneself are done not have so strong, can bring more aiding instead force. Dare to put down figure, him recognize has the limit to need courage really.
Want to know, put down the self defense mechanism that considers reputation only, just be older structure. Proper give the impression of weakness is not compromise and incapacity, however a kind of retreat in order to advance.
4
Hopeful not be all-purpose
Put a hope compared with blind heart, sober talent is realer
Have on psychology " Situokedaier paradox " , originate a Capt. that is captured in Vietnam, his recumbent and strong belief, full get over 8 years miserable P.O.W lives, hold to final get-off.
In the person that he tells an interview in the interview later, fail in cage living come out, it is those very hopeful people unluckily.
Situokedaier says: "The person that Na Bangle observes doctrine can say ' before christmas, we go out to go certainly ' . Christmas feast comes, passed next. They say again ' before Easter, we go out to go certainly ' . Easter came, passed again. It is thanksgiving next, it is next christmas day next again... as a result a disappointment follows a disappointment, they lost confidence gradually. Plus live of the environment abominable, then depressed and eventually. Then depressed and eventually..
When people body is in adversity, total meeting commits such mistake, be opposite foreground is full of hopeful when the brutal sex that overlooked reality, broke away from however actual hopeful can call only blind and hopeful, blind and hopeful brought consequence, often compare pessimism more terrible.
Ever had a mountain-climbing team ascend an altitude the high mountain of 5 kilometre. When climbing a half, the individual appeared strong downy reaction, although special want to ascend a top, but he or choice stop in place. After waiting for someone else to record a success, with them together downhill.
A reporter interviews him: "Didn't you ascend the summit to won't feel regretful? "Didn't you ascend the summit to won't feel regretful??
But he replies: "What do this have to be able to regret, I had reached my limit, reached the peak of my lifetime, I think I am the most marvellous. I think I am the most marvellous..
Actual cruelty, reflect not just in adversity austere with difficulty, also reflect in our oneself ability finite on.
A person's most serious ability, the limit that is him recognize is in. Everybody faces adverse circumstance answer a method to be able to differ somewhat, put down face, ability faces inner acknowledge continuously; Reject to hold to blindly, want to accept the restriction of external condition.
Can find the way that can allow oneself to go well in hopeless situation, go against business high namely.
In oneself and the heart in giving reality oneself are balanced. Can carry a thing, must know oneself can be carried more what thing.
