Cold force makes all in the day's work
Gave alien tender, amiable one side, leave chill, obstinate one side to give photograph immerse the sweetheart with foam; Dimensional distance is extremely adjacent, mental distance is extremely distant however, sleep together obviously, it is furthest stranger however, this is how lamentable contrast.
The likelihood in the heart still can hope love is mixed caress, but everybody cannot open that mouth. The day is crossed older, feeling indulges gradually, roughhouse did not solve a problem, after be being communicated well, discover 3 view should not, more disappointed to extremely. Finally can cold war, , in January another, imperceptible already may good long period of time never has said a word well, feel wronged and act rashly get along, everybody refuses to obey who!
Have marital form for nothing, do not have marital content however. How many marriage is experiencing such tragedy?
From without the word not respecting is speechless
Marry old you, how long had been done not have and in the home that communicates conversation well.
Does are you still met and the communication of confide in sb communicate TA? Can you still yearn for each information of TA? Did 10 exceed if communicating everyday?
Sum up the current situation in marriage, discover not hard, these had become the normal state of Chinese type marriage: Speak with fervor and assurance in the office, return the home silent not language; Be all smiles on wine desk, in the family expression is not had above the party; The keep no secrets from each other when love, after marrying, can say nothing; Coexist one room, divide a bed however and sleep; With desk have a meal, would rather chat in the mobile phone; A very short time gets along, each other are relatively reticent.
Be distressed! Be lamentable!
Type of bereft of one's spouse, the company of inferior quality
The film " the greatest father on the world " have a paragraph of actor's lines:
"The thing that ever felt the worst on the world, it is alone eventually old. Not be actually, the worst is let you feel loner one case with those eventually old. The worst is let you feel loner one case with those eventually old..
It is true that marriage makes the same score smooth light ability, can be insipid do not represent " barratrous " , in excuse business, disappear the likelihood that dangers is the child's most precious education, the likelihood is husband and wife between commendable feeling.
Too much man, think of course of business of the much in the family is assumed with respect to this woman, whit is given in marriage, think oneself accomplished marital devoir, long-term and absent, return rational to have according to, impenitent, although be in the home,also be to see a mobile phone, the company of inferior quality.
So although be accompanied old, mix again " bereft of one's spouse " have why to distinguish?
Live together with husband's father and mother, spend in sulk everyday
Because house, child waits a reason, must 3 Dai Tongtang, among them most of anxious is relation of wife and mother, major family brings about happy index to drop point-blank because of relation of wife and mother.
No matter how quarrel,follow mom, even if was to smash a head, cannot pass a few days, mom can excuse you. Following a mother-in-law is not however such, as long as once unpleasantness, with respect to the thorn that can make in one's heart. The relationship became close bad, far bad also, if the relationship is too close, can loosen vigilance, should have a word only incorrect, with respect to the heart that can hurt each other. If concern too far, fall in an eave together, look up not to see lower her head to see, how to look not pleasing to the eye.
Wife and mother is wife and mother, won't be mother and daughter forever. Waiting for in this kind of delicate concern everyday, marriage is insusceptible strange!
Patchy for the child
Marriage can'ts bear so, why to continue even? Nobody wants to continue, consider a divorce catch a big.
But total somebody persuades: For child take leave of, it what a complete home compares to the child is important that what a complete home compares to the child! The child is small still, did not have father or mom, very pitiful... the child wants litres small immediately first, in wanting, took an examination of, want the university entrance exam, the divorce can affect child learning, say again later...
Have such how much family, include oneself to also persuade oneself, there is next old having on small, the divorce is too messy, cost is too high, before the region is vast, left what course to follow? And the divorce was to destroy whole life not just, begin afresh again even, return once upon a time, this kind of feeling lets him feel scared.
And the thing that the old person in the home feels the divorce is to do not have face very much, for face, they can hope the child goes maintaining a paragraph of marriage that be on one's last legs. Of course reason is high-sounding, "For the child. "For the child..
But, because dare not divorce,be, so your marriage just form smoke into smother.
Make a divorce at the same time, give birth to 2 embryoes at the same time
Compared with want to leave dare not leave, more absurdity and lamentable is: Want to divorce at the same time, at the same time busy move gives birth to 2 embryoes!
Beside such a lot of example, not long ago hears her to said to there is a woman outside the husband obviously, two people make a noise so that cannot leave to hand in, in parents persuade fall to did not leave temporarily, but in the future makes a noise to be not moved, lived apart, each spend each time, she also pretermission he outside everything, he, still can give the child living cost, see she and child from time to time.
But did not lie between a year, you see she is big abdomen, of appearance expression say " I should give birth to 2 embryoes " .
This is what logic, a lot of moment I am indecipherable, but look much, also felt relieved.
Although we are choosing to escape, the choice revolts, but still do not have courage, stride this smooth and steady affection remains.
I always feel, a lot of people live too tiredly. The marriage of major person is not to be his to live, look to others in work however.
We should consider on the generation below generation, and the life treats a customer mediumly, did not consider him happiness alone only.
Entered a kind when marriage " did not close to be not divided again " in predicament, we can press these 4 move come the face find at present of your marriage balanced.
The first pace, learn to ego thinks over and be combed
A good marriage is the result of two individual joint effortses, and the difficult position of any marriage is not created by one party absolutely. In predicament, we discover the problem of the other side too easily, see the inadequacy of the other side, often can ignore oneself to be in however the these contradiction, problem that conflict or exists in deadlock.
Want to find relatively balanced position, you need to be clear about your first the responsibility of this burden.
The 2nd pace, the society is rational and objectively look upon the other side
In contradiction and conflict, often be full of too much mood and subjective imagination, a lot of off the rails case are for instance medium, off the rails just want to come home late only, by off the rails just can feeling certain is to look for tripartite, next roughhouse, perhaps make a lot of intense move.
We too the habit is mirrorred with instinct, because became us to be harmed in the relation, when facing exciting advent, our natural meeting protects us automatically, want to know, it is a kind of sharper than the mood reaction instinctively.
But, the concern that the reaction of instinct and mood can let two people worsens continuously go down, to solving a problem, dissolve conflict, find balanced condition to do not have a bit advantage.
In make oneself smooth and steady come down, after getting basic safety feels, you are about to began ground of more comprehensive and objective reason to explore the other side --
Why can be she done so after all? What is the need that makes backside so? How to do can you reduce a few conflict and many somes of coupling? May we cooperate again?
The 3rd pace, the society pauses once vicious circle
But in fact, we are very much number year even tens of year the solidify mode that has formed, it is the will that carries oneself very hard goes pilot, even if understand very much on thinking how more be helpful for a relation handling, act to be accomplished very hard also.
This process is very hard, the process that tries so is the process of a self-discipline, also be right at the same time before oneself growing circumstance and the feedback that evaluate to the other side and examine.
The 4th pace, accept feedback in time and undertake adjustment
If before efforts -- no matter be right oneself the promotion of each respect, the new knowledge that still is pair of the other side -- if these change are effective to his current life, that is about to continue to maintain; If do not have effect, be about to look is he had been not accomplished, why to do, how is ability accomplished, direction has a problem, need to adjust.
Mix in ceaseless reflection in adjusting, think over to oneself and the other side and comb, until find relatively balanced dot, let the position with oneself and relatively comfortable the other side.
When the conflict mode of two people stops, ability undertakes the next time understanding and attempt, thereby each other stand by little ground.
