The child is in the process that grow, total meeting is encountered such or in that way problem. Love network strong interest, early, the issue that perhaps studies. The eye that the parent already always Youred Excellency will treat the child, feel to wanted what the child says according to oneself to do only, can avoid these problems certainly. Most parent can adopt strong means to force his apiration directly go up in the child's body, your child cannot talk give oneself to be experienced truely, no matter oneself say how to be done,feel, the parent is wanting to give his off-the-peg proposal only forever, so gradually begin to conceal oneself true opinion, this also is the parent feels child indocile is main reason. As time passes, the child also is not willing to be communicated more with the parent, in forming parent mouth so called " acting channel " .
Actually every child is independence is individual, they are having their idea, in education the child should master scientific means method, will build with the accredit between the child, today, introduce to everybody a method with the child -- space time.
Call " space time " namely: Close child both sides carries contracted kind, the agreement became good a specific time, each other objective and the identity, difference that does not have a position, each other equality, indifferent communication time is done not have in this time, resemble sitting in this time airship leaves the world, enter outer space, cast the earth to go up all everything.
Using " space time " when, the following parent should notice:
One, contracted spirit
Parent need makes through talking things over with the child piece in " space time " the regulation inside for instance:
1, once a week, be in when to begin, every time how long (proposal 1-2 hour)
2, the thing inside regular limits, one party puts forward other one party to cannot refuse.
3, make good agreement ahead of schedule, if one party break a contact should be like where to punish, must be accepted by punisher.
4, as long as be " space time " in the decision that two people make, must collective defend, carry out according to the decision stoutly.
5, if content need adjusts bond to also can be in only " space time " in reach consistent ability to alter through talking things over
6, if pass,negotiate formed bond only, both sides must do his best go collective defend.
2, conversational part
The parent should notice to be in " space time " the conversational part in:
1, the difference that does not have status position, in space time father mother is not the parent, son daughter also is not the child, it is the dialog that a complete equality, mutual respect listens attentively to each other.
2, any one party do not allow to contain any individual moods to come in the talk.
3, the agreement is good the thing that keeps secret for the other side, want to abide by acceptance, cannot break a contact.
4, the station is willing to support opposite party in me, I am willing to listen attentively to the other side, angle that I am willing to understand the other side to have a talk.
3, conversational content
The parent should notice to be in " space time " the conversational content in
1, in " space time " inside much some talks, was opposite and wrong, anybody must not evaluate the method of the other side, can do objective, indifferent listen respectfully and analysis only, must not viewpoint of individual of be mingled with
2, allow those who talk about an individual to experience only, the talk that does not allow to be aimed at the other side gives an any proposals, the child can convey him this momently experience.
3, accomplish do not complain, do not negotiate, do not force the other side, do not calculate old Zhang, do not abreact the mood is on body of the other side, more do not allow deceit, do not allow protracted.
4, bilateral acceptance is confidential to conversational content, right conversational content bears the blame, serve every time sincerely " space time " .
When the parent and child communicate occurrence problem, "Space time " it is to alleviate the economic tool of parentage, the child in parentage is weak force, so he passes this kind of equal form very gladly to pour out his feeling. The parent needs to drop frame work, put down the identity, well go him child's true opinion mixes listen respectfully experience, you can discover after a few take second place, oneself have many to the child's misunderstanding deep.
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