Bert Hailingge (Bert · Hellinger) it is German psychotherapy division, "Familial system is arranged " father, the body soul Great Master with famous whole world, be known as " western father " . What he puts forward is the following 9 thinking trap exists generally in affinity, a lot of people ever had had such or in that way cognitive error.
Between the spouse true and interactive the foundation that is good marriage. Everything is masked, conceal, shrink back and escape to let us more and more the heart that is far from each other. The inspiration that gives us is: Seeking outwards ceaselessly, when demanding wanted thing, the direction that we try hard already deviate the right path, and " return oneself, him Xiu Lian " just be final result.
The wisdom hole that we let learn Hailingge together below sees, in the study sth in order to apply it in affinity, cultivate oneself according to a religious doctrine grows:
Thinking trap 1-9
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Must seek pair of people
1
Marry with who actually same, what you need to face finally still is yourself. The other side is a kind of report of the ability that you love yourself only. Progressed truly when yourself, existing marriage is best.
Next spouse can differ right-down
2
Mix from different change the spouse is not a problem settle way, it just is a problem defer. "Change " can bring temporarily new move and relaxed sense probably, but the inducement that those who cast off is a problem only, is not the itself of the problem.
I must rescue this paragraph of marriage
3
Cast various the practice that saves a concern, take care of good yourself first. The life that becomes you was changed, marital nature also can be changed. Marital status just mirrorred you to treat the manner of the life.
Responsibility is in TA
4
To your happiness, should bear the blame have yourself only. Accepted oneself only, ability accepts the love of the other side. The other side is done badly, because you do not cherish,be actually yourself.
I need to stimulate
5
When the marriage that becomes you appears empty and dull, you do not need to stimulate actually, however courage. You need to courage goes examining existing orbit, cast off easy and comfortable feeling to walk out of lentic and general comfortable area, the demand that acts on a heart goes risking bit of danger. Such, your life is met instantly fresh rise, and not need comes from external exciting.
True love can come eventually
6
When you are dreaming to love really, it is the inadequacy that expects a perfect companion will make up for you actually. Because perfect companion is nonexistent, the dream that loves really so can be added to you only.
I need harmony
7
The man loves to avoid to discuss an issue deep with this for excuse most. If mask all dissatisfaction below harmonious appearance, the person has to depress him. Be good at drain only the person of negative sentiment, just know enjoy satisfied with vigor.
Say true word very injury person
8
Say true word injures a person really, but the only way that also is cure injury. Saying true word is to walk out of the gloomy and daily life, turning point that establishs perfect relationship. Reservation sounds secretly very romantic probably, but none applicable however in reality. Frankly speaking.
I am gotten down TA
9
Because fear to defy,you are done so is. Most marriage is not the hassle that dies at two people, become exhausted in concede however lose and become rigid. Should timely say " not " , this is crucial to marriage.
