Two a of Zhou Qian night, take a son to go to a village square amuse oneself, should son requirement, took twist roll a car. He likes this car very much play, also be an edge tool that he makes friend.
Time is not early also, dancing grandfather grandma is mostly on square people, the child of amuse oneself has 3 only, the son played one lot very quickly with them, everybody is driving to twist by turns roll a car, joyous sound laughs language. Have small contradiction occasionally, be troubled by twice become reconciled.
My station is in, look at them quietly, some are gratified: Really the child is some bigger, the issue that oneself can handle is jumped over more more much, what I am in charge of is less, he himself is in charge of become more, this is very good really.
The little girl that is turn for about 5 years old rides twist roll a car. She rides not quite quickly, son and another little boy are chased after run at the back of the car, the edge runs to make laugh quite quite by the side of. Suddenly, the car paused, two shoe of little girl did not know how to be swung come down, one person of two little boys gives only kick often far.
So do really wrong.
Little girl one cry greatly, this ability knows two little boys oneself became wrong, some lose some head the ground stands beside little girl, they are talking, I leave a bit far, did not hear specific content.
I this consider lets him child take a lesson, as far as possible the state of mind that oneself solve a problem, before rushing immediately, go solving a problem, just approached a few, want to listen to them what saying.
The grandma of little girl ran, drink in a stern voice ask little girl gives what job. Little girl is loud and accuse little boys play a dirty trick, kick flew her shoe. But grandma it doesn't matter is patient, did not hear the child's word at all, open aloud to scold little girl: Tell you not to play the thing of others, you do not listen, this falls sufferred! Where is your shoe? Shoe which went... what does leather child play with this side, teach you cheap, must forth collect, must not play with them later... the severity of sound, I also was frightened jump, do not know to should establish the apology before engrave temporarily, still wait a moment again.
Little girl cries higher loud.
Two little boys also fear to rise apparently, they dare not talk aloud, mutter to oneself is worn mutual shirk responsibility, but looked for the shoe of little girl very quickly still separately, the hope can reduce the anger of the grandma.
Grandma action is quick, after giving little girl shoe, dragged her with respect to, before I had answered a god to come, pulling her by force to leave square, the edge walks along an edge to scold. Little girl is pulled howlingly.
Two little boys run to the side of me, one person is disputing a characterization one sentence a moment ago minor incident. It is two their archness really, made a mistake, but later because fear that grandma, the apology goes before dare not going up. Fortunately they throw this thing very quickly, continue to play.
It is that little girl only, be afraid can compare how terrible to her tonight. She sufferred grievance when play originally, but the apology that did not receive answering having, return at the same time by grandma right on the face a rebuke. Do not calculate what big event originally, before little perhaps girl just needs to make wrong person go up, will to her apologize cordially, can happy amuse oneself, but the rebuke of the grandma, do the business big, little girl sufferred double grievance, bagatelle affection turns an important matter into affection, and give her without the person the least bit comfort, her most propbably is subdued again fear again, cannot pour out, nobody are listened attentively to, cried only.
Of this grandma play method, actually not rarely seen. Be upset by unkindness in the child, grouch, when sufferring harm, our parent does above all, often not be the sentiment that confirms the child first and state, wear urgently however him express mood and experience. I can understand the state of mind of the grandma, the child is very fond of in her heart, abuse oneself child when, she is to scolding the child that err and child parent to listen actually. But her rage, the child that err and parent were heard, the apology before also dare not going up.
And little girl, she serves as a victim, sufferred blow twice.
The practice of the grandma, received fury of oneself have one's bosom filled with only, be not admitted by adult with the child, the grievance that nobody pacifies, have disadvantage only, do not have the least bit advantage.
When encountering similar issue, adult should affirm the child's feeling above all.
If grandma is OK in a way restrains him, ask Qing Dynasty calmly its cause and effect, pacify the little girl that be upset by unkindness, make two little boys successful make an apology to little girl, the thing was solved. Children continue to go together simply play is good. Do not be in child rage when manage to child say, or rebuke child, my individual experience tells me, so finish to do not have effectiveness completely.
Next, want to be clear about the borderline between oneself and child.
The grandma does not know, the contradiction between these children, belong to the child, had better solve between the child, such harm is the smallest. But I know very well, such truth is listened not easily to go in, or even if listened, also can not carry out so, because we call acceptance education as a child, it is such. We have a hand in everything the child's chronically, think the child is not known how to go handling -- final, the child also is worth to accept the suggestion that he does not know, when encountering a problem really, do not know how to be solved. Know when us let go, when remanding the child's thing to the child, capacity ability of the child achieves better progress.
The 3rd, adult must control good mood, do not speak the word that harms the child when annoy. If do not control oneself temporarily, sent disposition to the child, must apologize in time, say where him fault is clear, strive for the child's understanding.
