Everybody is good, I am Zhou Zhou. A few days ago a friend pours out with me, the son that discovers him 4 years old always is lying: Ate chocolate obviously for instance, say to did not eat however, the result allots the wrapping paper that showed chocolate in pillow and bed bottom. Mention lying, I believe everybody can recall a story, cry " the wolf came " , the story of this buccal mouth according to legend was taught do not know a few acting people. Visible, lie the child all along in our traditional education treat big fear. In current education, the child is lying the issue that remains the parent to feel special quandary. That today, we chat, lying to the child, how should we do after all?
According to investigation, great majority children has said a lie, the reason has a lot of: Or it is concern is censured, or as a result of,be bashful, perhaps not be willing again disappoint father mother expects to theirs. We think to lie normally is dishonest prelude, but the height that every crammer that is not every child actually needs to rise to moral character. Develop angle from children acknowledge for, to grade of those elementary school just a little the following child may exist the involuntary crammer of 3 kinds of types. Below this kind of circumstance, the child did not say the subjective motive of lie person intentionally:
The first kind, it is a concept not clear. To dot, their cognitive development level is not overall still. The its memory that passes to experience via regular meeting sometimes is unsharpness, or what time masters is not accurate. E.g. the child the book that young associate borrowed 5 days ago, he he says the likelihood is two Tian Qiangang borrowed however. This kind lie is met as child acknowledge ability rise, naturally ground is broken.
The 2nd kind, it is to imagine the crammer that causes with actual interblend confuse. Psychological research achievement confirms, 7 years old of the following children can distribute the dividing line between not clear imagination and reality sometimes, the parent should help the child distinguish desire and fact, raise their resolution.
The 3rd kind, it is morality understanding is not clear. The child's thinking, often bringing a kind of egocentric characteristic, their morality judges a basis to depend on subjective intent, want how to be done how to do, this are to be different from adult. For instance some children take the toy of nursery school stealthily came home, do not think to be done in that way what to have bad, but the idea that the child that the parent should understand 45 years old has not stolen, because this parent needs patient ground to tell a truth to the child, little ground establishs the moral standard of child heart.
However, as the child grow, they may begin to lie of purpose. How should be we judged? Psychologist thinks, lying of purpose is to show the child has the intention that says lie, it is to satisfy oneself need more, and also realize oneself are lying. So when the child that discovers oneself when us is lying, how should be handled? I have a few a lunar month of 29 days to discuss, consult for you:
The first, understand a reason, moderate land implements penalty. Above all the parent should understand a situation, discuss clear and lying matter crucial, such, ability has specific aim ground to have a response, once discover oneself child lay really, need tries to take seriously, earnest ground is treated. The child that lies to those first time especially is punished moderately, let him understand what do not hope to see to such behavior is father mother.
The 2nd, let the child dare to acknowledge a mistake, somebody thinks the child is lying is the parent forces come out. Actually ah, will tell from some kind of angle, such view is not beyond the mark. For instance, child exam is degenerative, do not read report to parents; Break a vase into pieces to dare not admit... this kind lies often have immediate concern with too severe domestic education means. Begin the case that discuss like me, the friend's child dare not tell the truth, it is parents asks too strictly on snack certainly, the child fears father mother censures is to beat and scold even, in the heart that produces a kind of passive defense, to escape punishment, had a mistake to dare not say, face lying child, the parent is necessary to think why the child doesn't say true word with me, do I create the opportunity that lie to the child?
The 3rd, the honest behavior of aggrandizement child. If the child made what mistake, want him to admit actively only, what parents needs to affirm above all is his honesty, what just can point out him next is wrong, this meeting lets the child although his err finishs sth,realize affection, honesty remains a kind of behavior that deserves commend and award. The honest behavior of child of this meeting aggrandizement, invite the trouble that he guides next overcoming to lie in this kind of new behavior pattern.
The 4th, consider sth as it stands, do not turn the issue badly. The crammer that a lot of parents face the child is clinking be anxious, always can rise to the height of moral character, actually the child lies and do not mean disposition special dense bad, the parent should pay close attention to how to solve current problem, and do not want a child the temporarily characteristic that behaves cognizance humanness case.
Sum up, we basically discussed the following point of views today:
The first, lying is incorrect, but the height that each crammer that is not every child needs to rise to moral character, need parent undertakes discerning.
The 2nd, discover when to him child lies, can undertake handling from the following angle when us:
1. understands a reason, measurable executive penalty;
2. lets the child dare to acknowledge a mistake;
The honest behavior of 3. aggrandizement child;
4. consider sth as it stands, do not turn the issue badly.
Good, those who thank everybody listen!
